Back into a Routine?

I've really been wanting to post for a while, but have had a hard time knowing what to write about. It was so significant to me to read my mom's journals, so that post seemed so huge that I couldn't really think of anything worth writing about since then. I decided it's better to write about not much than not write at all.

Josh and I have been back in Kentucky for a couple weeks now, back to work and school. It's amazing how different our lives feel. I struggled at first going to work and acting "normal" around everyone -- since I felt anything but normal. I confess, I half expected most people to treat me differently -- that is, treat me really kindly -- because here I am, a pregnant girl whose mom just died. I was nearly in tears when I took a snapshot of my mom to CVS to make a double of it and the photo-department woman was rather curt and unhelpful, going to charge me $10 to make a copy. I feel like saying "please me nice to me! I'm sad right now because my mom is gone!" The Lord has been good to guard my heart from falling into true self-pity. It's hard to totally know my own self, but I think I am mostly just grieving, and half wishing everyone else was grieving along with me.

So at first I struggled getting into a routine, but now I see how having a scheduled life, really is, as Jodi Ware says, "a gift from the Lord." It helps you to go forward and "do the next thing". I have never before lived through grief, and I certainly have never lost anyone close to me, so it is all a journey of learning a new normal: getting up in the morning and remembering that I lost my mom, having my family on my mind through out the day, praying for their souls, and my own, to be guarded from depressed or guilty thoughts, having waves of sadness wash over me when I see grandmothers with new babies (actually pretty common around here), or a really specific memory occurs to me. I feel like I have grown and changed so much in the past month, that I hardly feel the same, so making a new normal feels pretty abnormal.

But the truth is this: there is a sort of sweetness in knowing Christ NOW, in the midst of my pain, that I had never known before. It comes to me when I weep, or fall into deep contemplation -- the sweetness of sharing in "the fellowship of His suffering". Elisabeth Elliot says that it's not that Christ died so that we might suffer, but that because of his death, our sufferings have a purpose -- that we can share an intimate knowledge of Him in the fellowship of His suffering. I can honestly say that from my own experience, I do sense that Christ has drawn me into a closer relationship, making Him more dear to me than ever.

These days the song "Great is Thy Faithfulness" has become my favorite: "Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand hath provided." I trust you, Lord, to provide new mercy and grace for each day.

My Mom's Quiet Time

Mom's funeral was beautiful. It was a lovely, solemn, precious day. We were so blessed to have over 500 people at her visitation and funeral, including many family members from both my dad's and mom's sides of the family. How sweet to have them all gathered together! How precious to honor Mom and praise Jesus together!

One of the things that we have found precious is the journals and notebooks Mom has written in. We found prayers here and there in notebooks, and whole journals just for prayer, and taking notes in church and her devotions. It is humbling to see how much she prayed for her children (and what she prayed, of course, is even more humbling, because you see what she saw that perhaps you did not see back then). My sister Anna read from Mom's Bible at the funeral, and remarked on how much Mom wrote in it, and how special it was to have Mom's thoughts on the Word as a legacy to us.

For example, John 14 "Let not your hearts be troubled, ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you." Mom wrote next to this passage -- "To be comforted". What a gift God has given us through Mom's writings, speaking to us still.

In her quiet time this year, she wrote in August "I can walk before the Lord in the light of the living until God's plans for me are finished. My life won't end one minute before God wants it to." She had been reading Psalm 56 "In God I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me." What a treasure these words are to my soul!

In September she wrote "No matter how things look, God is in control". Writing this to assure her own soul, and speak truth to her own heart is priceless. It speaks to my heart now, telling me to trust in God's sovereignty.

On the Monday before she had her stroke she wrote "God knows and plans everything."

These writings are so sweet to my eyes, and honey to my heart. It is a peek into her very soul, showing the intimacy of her walk with Jesus. What a legacy for us! I considered not sharing them here in such a public way, because they are such a treasure, but I hoped by doing so, you would be encouraged to trust God and be comforted, in whatever affliction you are facing. I also hoped to encourage my brothers and sisters in Christ to deepen their walk with the Lord, spending time in His Word every day. And when you get the chance, write about it! My mom was not trying to write profound things for us to read; she was merely meditating on the passage. It certainly has spurred me on to pull my prayer journal more often, and I hope it does the same for you.

The Psalms and My Mom

My mom once told me her favorite book of the Bible was the Psalms, and I have to agree, it may be mine as well. Mom felt deeply and so she probably drew comfort from the depths and heights the Psalmist often plunges in his writing. There is no human experience David (and other psalm writers) did not experience.


How fitting, then, that the Psalms would be a primary comfort to my soul during the hardship we faced with Mom's stroke and death. Here are some of the Psalms that I read over and over during that time:



Psalm 139 -- From the moment Anna called me to tell me Mom had a stroke, the words of this Psalm jumped into my mind. I thought of her being flown in a helicopter alone to the next city, but my heart was comforted to read "Where shall I go from Your Spirit, or where shall I flee from Your presence?" Over and over I repeated this verse, thinking of the blessed presence of the Holy Spirit with my mother in the helicopter, moving from one hospital to another. As the night went on, I read verse 12 "even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you." The night seemed so dark. The doctors did not know what all was happening in my mother's brain, but that dark place was not hidden from God. Probably the verse that I clung to the most was verse 5 "You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me." To know that everything that was happening was hemmed in by our powerful, wise, loving and sovereign God was the ultimate comfort. I prayed this verse for my mother, and for all of us, that we could trust in His direction. As the days went on, I also drew strength from verse 16 "Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them." Even though we were in an utter quandary as to whether my mom would live another day, I knew that her days were written for her, even before she was born.



Psalm 57 -- "Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in You my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge. I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me. . . God will send out His steadfast love and His faithfulness!" I prayed this Psalm for my mom another night when the girls and I were visiting Mom in the SICU. Verse 4 reflected how my soul felt: "My soul is in the midst of lions; I lie down amid fiery beasts."

Psalm 91 -- "He shall dwell under the Shadow of the Almighty." That phrase is so beautiful and comforting. Many people read us this psalm in the hospital during those days.

There are so many more, but I hope these words will be an encouragement to you, too!

My Mom

When I posted my last, I had no idea that a "crazy week" would stretch into 3 and beyond. Even now, I can't quite grasp all that has taken place in my life over the past 2 weeks -- the lessons I've learned, the Scripture I've read, the tears I've shed. I couldn't begin to put it all into one blog post, so this may be the first of many on the subject.

My mom passed away this morning.

Even as I type that, though I've seen what I've seen, it still does not seem possible.

It was very sudden. On February 21st, Josh and I settled into our new apartment, and I talked to my mom on the phone. She asked about the baby, our new apartment, and asked me if I wanted some things she'd found when cleaning out my sister's room. We did not talk too long, because my dad and sisters were waiting for her to go out to eat. The last thing she said to me was "I love you, honey. I'll call you tomorrow."

At the restaurant, she began to have signs of a stroke, much like the TIA she'd had 4 years ago -- not remembering names and specific things. Later that evening at the emergency room, she had a massive stroke. My sister called me a little after midnight that night to tell me that things were really bad, and Josh and I left for Illinois right away. Though mom lived for the next 2 weeks, and underwent a serious operation, she never awoke from her coma, and never saw us or spoke to us in the time that has gone by.

We sat in the hospital all day every day during that time. For the first week, she was in SICU, and we could only visit 2 at a time (though sometimes there were 4 or so of us). My sisters and I polished her nails and toenails, and gave her lipstick. We all talked and prayed, and sang and read Scripture to her. Then last Sunday she was moved into her own room, and hospice care, and we all could gather there together, where we spent the last week by her side.

She had such pretty warm hands, with the nails painted so nicely. I held one for hours and hours every day this week. I miss it already.

What can you say about your mom? We (her 6 kids) all had a great relationship with her. She was loved by hundreds of children in the nursery ministry where she served for years, not to mention their parents. We've seen and talked to hundreds of her friends during these weeks. I can't begin to recount the memories, the things that were special about her. If you knew her, you certainly have memories of her yourself. Feel free to post them here for me, it is such a comfort to think of all the people who loved her.

I never spent a moment during these weeks in which I did not feel the Lord's gentle care for me. He seemed very close, the Spirit's ministry of comfort very real. Oh, there were, and still are, moments of aching loss and overwhelming heartache, but my Gentle Shepherd has cared for me and lead me through these days. I know that sometimes when people go through suffering, the most difficult aspect is that they do not feel the closeness of the Lord, so I am so grateful that I did. "I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name" as the hymn says. Jesus is the dearest and sweetest name I know, more than ever.

Crazy Week

We are moving this week, and things are going to be a little crazy in my world, so I probably will not have a chance to post again. I hope to get everything moved into our new apartment, and then put up some pictures of our new place sometime next week.

In the meantime, I also wanted to link to a couple new posts that CBMW is putting up by yours truly. It's overkill if you've already read my post on this blog, but if not, or if you just have time to kill, please click over and read it! This is a post from last Wednesday, and from what I understand, they are going to do parts for the next couple of Wednesdays, like a series. If you have any comments whatsoever, they LOVE feedback, and always pass it on to me, so please click on the feedback link on the CBMW blog. I'd love questions, too, as fuel to research more books!

Free Things!

These past couple days have been abundant with cashing in on some free stuff. What with coupons, gift cards, CVS bucks, charity and just generous people, I've been bringing home things left and right.

First, in the basement of our building, they have something called "The Attic" (great name, huh?) where families of the seminary can take 4 free things a week. I got several little baby clothes there (all pink, but you can't help that -- plus they were free). I also picked up a couple things from our church where they have a mother and child clothing room (it was my first visit, but not my last!). Here is a picture. I especially liked the little pink chucks -- that she obviously won't be able to wear for quite a while, but oh well. I still have not spent a dime on baby clothes yet -- though I was OVERWHELMINGLY tempted last night when I found a Polly Flinder's dress at T.J. Maxx.

Also pictured are a couple free things I got because of my generous friend Rhonda sharing her coupons with me: hairspray, a razor for Josh and toothpaste. I also have 2 free 2-liters of Diet Dr. Pepper, but we didn't get those yet, because yesterday when I was in line at Kroger, the power went out (what is WITH this city?) and I could not be rung up! Oh well, Josh and I will go redeem them after we drink up all the Diet Coke we currently have. I randomly got a magazine in the mail, too. I think it's from my mother-in-law, and I love Real Simple!!

This is the BEST thing I got yesterday (though I can't technically call it free) -- new ultrasound pictures! Poor Josh missed out (he was in class) as I got to see our little girl in her new bigger size, touching her nose and lip with one finger and wiggling her tongue. AMAZING! The good news is that her heart looks like it's normal from what they can tell, so that's great news!

I told Josh yesterday that working hard to save money with coupons and frugality has been a fun challenge, but I've found it's been really tempting not to think that I am the one responsible for all my hard work. I find it harder not to utterly rely on God to take care of our financial needs, because I'm relying on myself instead. Have you found that to be a challenge, my organized, frugal friends? This is a new challenge for me, because I have tended to be so fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants, that if it all works out, I KNOW it is God's doing. Now that I'm trying to be intentional, I see myself as the force behind the windfall. How do YOU fight that mentality?

Thinking about Scheduling

I have been reading some books on what to do once the baby is here, and I thought I'd report what I'm thinking about. I'd love to hear from some of you who are experienced moms (or just moms at all, if you don't consider yourself experienced), or big sisters (like me) who have lived with babies in your life.

First, I read My First 300 Babies by Gladys Hendrick, who worked with hundreds of babies and their parents to train them to be on a schedule. I am not sure, but I think this book was written in the 50's or 60's (possibly 70's), just by the dated content -- glass bottles, cloth diapers, length of time women stayed in the hospital after giving birth. I found much of what Mrs. Hendrick suggested to be helpful. Her motto "It's not what the baby does, it's what you do about it . . . because babies are unpredictable," made a lot of sense to me. Her experience seemed to speak for itself, and the families who had her help seemed very pleased with the outcome! However, she was RATHER strict on her scheduling. She starts with a schedule the day you come home from the hospital (I'm imagining that really means when the baby is about a week old, not 2 days old like they are now), and plans for the baby to go 4 hours between feedings right away (3 during the day). That seemed like a lofty goal, and maybe not possible, but her firmness reminded me of a grandmother figure saying "honey, don't freak out. . . your baby can deal with it." Though I don't think I'll actually go with her schedule, I think reading this book will help me to stay calm and let my baby cry a bit when she lays down to sleep, etc. It should also help with planning parts of the day when the baby gets a bit older -- she advocates teaching a child how to play and entertain itself first in the playpen, and then in it's bedroom during part of each day. I think this is helpful especially when you only have one child, and you feel the need to be his/her constant entertainer.

Now I'm reading Babywise by Gary Ezzo. So far, this has been much more flexible, but with structure. In case you aren't familiar, Babywise advocates putting your baby on a 2 1/2 to 3 hour feeding schedule after it's a week old, and carefully monitoring your child's growth. This book deals a lot more with breastfeeding -- every aspect -- which I find helpful. Friends that I know who have done Babywise have told me the same thing: that the baby is more pleasant when he/she is awake, because they wake up hungry, you feed, and then during their alert times, they are happy! It makes sense. I know quite a few families who have done their own version of Babywise (someone told me it's like a recipe -- take out what you don't like, or put in what you do), and seem to have success. I know my mom used a flexible schedule with my sisters, and I recall clearly setting the timer for 20 minutes every time they cried when they were put to bed.

I guess at the end of the day, I'm going to have to do some sort of schedule, even if I weren't convinced of the benefits, because I'm going back to work. Hopefully, things like sleeping through the night, and being able to successfully breastfeed will just be additional benefits that come along with the territory!

What have you done? Weigh in on this topic, please!

Back online with Spelt Salad

Well, I broke one of my New Year's goals, but I don't think it could be considered my fault this time. Our apartment was out of power for 5 days, and then after it came on, there were only a few days in between before the internet went out. It must have come back up sometime today, so now I can write a post!

Today I want to share with you a recipe that might sound good if you are looking forward to warmer days: My Favorite Spelt Salad.

My friend Tara Beth introduced me to this yummy grain last year on my birthday shopping outing to Jungle Jim's, and I've been buying bags of it, and preparing now and then ever since. It's a good source of iron, so GREAT for the pregnant vegetarian!

Cooked spelt (I prepare 1/2 cup or 1 whole cup -- that's the measurement before it's cooked)
One small chopped onion
Several teaspoons of Vinegar (I like balsamic)
Several tablespoons of Olive Oil (pour over onion with the vinegar while spelt is cooking to infuse)
1 pint of halved grape tomatoes (or just chop a regular tomato)
Several tablespoons of toasted pine nuts
salt and pepper to taste -- I like garlic salt, but adding some fresh garlic is good too!

Mix together and chill -- serve cold. Add fresh herbs if you have them (I don't in the winter).

YUM! The texture is chewy and crunchy. With the price of tomatoes falling fast, it's a good fresh way to wait for spring. This could really be a decent lunch, it's got everything you need. Or, if you're me, it's your afternoon snack. :) Hey, it's better than going for a Twix bar or something!

I'll be coming back to you soon with thoughts on scheduling for babies and the books I'm reading now!

Winter Adventure

We thought we moved to the south. But amazingly enough, the sort of storm that came through Kentucky on Monday night is much worse than the sort I've seen living in all the northern states I've lived in, including Montana and Wisconsin! Clearly, we didn't get FEET of snow, but the amount of ice and sleet we got over the next couple days were enough to knock out the power of hundreds of thousands of people!

Including us.

I kept thinking about last fall and the power outage we had then, and the lessons I learned in the dark. It's different this time, because it's scarier and COLD, and whole trees are still breaking because of the ice and wind. The fierceness of the stark cold outdoors reminds me of Narnia frozen by the White Witch's spell.

But I am also reminded of the awesome power of God. Here are a few pictures Josh took one morning after he walked me to work (this is before the power went out).

I also had a battle in my heart being envious of others who got days off work and school, sitting at home in their warm homes. Doesn't winter weather make you such a homebody? But I had to battle against that familiar sin, once again, remembering my rich blessings in Christ and cherishing the warm evening at home with Josh making cookies, watching a movie and watching the snow fall. Give me the grace to be content, Lord!

*** Edit: Power came back Sunday evening! We are moved back home, and I've gone back to work! It's amazing how nice it is to get back to routine. That tree in the picture above is now green and standing straight up. Louisville weather is so weird.

Saving Money

So three weeks into this coupon-clipping thing and tonight I actually felt like it was worth it! You old pros will scoff at my minor savings, but in my book it was substantial enough to make it worth it. We actually got Diet Coke and kept the grocery spending under my limit! I actually figured in my head almost EXACTLY what it was going to cost before we went to the store. I showed Josh my reciept and my list with my estimated total and it was the same!

Here we are in the dairy section of Meijer:

Me: "Ooooooooooooh, I KNEW it! All the Sargento cheese is gone. It was too good of a deal." (it was on sale plus I had a coupon).

Josh: refuses to accept it's all gone. Scavenges through all the cheeses laying haphazardly in the case while I vainly reread the sale ad. "What about this? Does this count? Here's 8 oz Mozzerella."

Me: "You're my hero! YES! That counts! Okay, we need another one, because the coupon is good on 2."

We are eventually successful because a reduced fat bag has been ignored by the early-shopping hyenas because of it's lack of sale tag. HAHA! It's ours!

Here's the thing about the coupon thing. There are only 2 of us and our apartment is tiny. So there IS a limit to how much this can help, because buying in bulk is mostly unhelpful to us. If I were feeding 8 kids, then the amount I COULD spend would be huge, and the amount I COULD save would be far more. So maybe if I learn how to do this a little better, someday it will be even more useful.

Anyway, this is not about to become one of those blogs that lists all the sale prices and coupons for every grocery store in the area (others do that well and I certainly would not). HOWEVER, I do want to point out a new blog I've linked to on my sidebar, hikingfool. My friend Jason pointed his blog out, and he does a good job of pulling together lots of savings blogs in a sort of streamlined way (maybe because he's a guy, I don't know). So thanks, hikingfool, for doing some of the groundwork for me, and saving me the time I don't have surfing through all the sites I don't have time to read to pass along the best.

Just Another Day at Work?

Well, not so much.

But I have a fun story I have to tell. Today the T4G guys were on campus meeting with Dr. Mohler. I was opening the door for my co-oworker who was taking out the trash and John Piper walked by me in a black stocking cap. It sort of dawned on me when I saw he was followed by the rest of the team, apparently walking over from the Legacy Center to Dr. Mohler's office.

So that was that.

10 minutes before we closed, they all came into the bookstore. This is the first time Piper has been in since I started working there, but the other guys have come in lots, so I'm used to their joviality and cheerful friendliness. Hoping Piper would be in the same sort of mood, I went back to my desk and pulled down a shelf flag (which is what you put on the shelf to tell about a book, or to show it's on sale) that I've had up by my desk since July of '07. Every month or so, we get new signs to put out to show the new sales. Every once in a while there is a typo on the price or something, but THIS time, the typo was in the title. It was advertising a sale price on the "new book by John Piper": What Jesus Demands of the Woman.

Clearly this was supposed to mean What Jesus Demands of the World. I thought it was funny, so I put it on my magnet board.

I brought it out and asked Dr. Piper when we might expect that new work to be released. He laughed loudly and said "It's WORLD! That should be WORLD! This has to be a joke."

I said "no, it's a misprint. But I think it would make a great title. Maybe your wife could pen a book with this title."

He smiled and said "can I keep this? I'm going to FRAME it."

So that's why I can't show you the shelf flag. I gave it to John Piper.

Seeing Pink and Other Sundry Matters

On Tuesday, I had my first ultrasound and found out that we are having a girl! It was amazing and sweet to be able to see the child inside me. I am 20 weeks along -- halfway! In one sense, I can't believe I'm that far along already, in another, I do feel like I've been baby-stepping along each day. Besides the sickness of the first 17 weeks (praise the Lord that has really subsided!), I have found myself stumbling along in dependence on the Lord's grace -- one day desperately aware of how much I need Him -- how weak and frail I am -- and the next day so confident in myself, that I trip again and stumble into the godlessness that manifests itself in ungratefulness, complaining and discontent. Several of you have told me that you also struggle with discontent and comparing yourself with others. Do not think I have finally beat this sin just because I blogged about it! I continue to churn in my mind -- battling the sin day after day. Your words have been encouraging to me -- we need our brothers and sisters in Christ to spur us on!

Here are some other, lighthearted pregnancy-related things I wanted to share with you (hence, other sundry matters). First, check out my friend Carrie's new blog! Hers is fun to check every day to see what she's linking to -- sort of like reading a quick magazine. Today she links to something I really need!

Wednesday night, Caitlin and Chelsea, 2 girls from my church, brought me my first gift for my baby girl -- a newborn sleeper! This is the first clothes I have for my little darling. I know girl clothes are so fun to buy (as everyone has mentioned), but I'm fighting the urge to even browse right now! I appreciate so much the kindness of the Murray girls. I can't wait until she's here so I can put it on her! I posed the picture of this sweet gift with the picture of my baby -- they gave us this little frame when we went to get our ultrasound.

I'm reading my first book on babies, and thinking about the whole issue of scheduling. Since I will be going back to work after my maternity leave, it's a MUST! My First 300 Babies is really old and pretty old-fashioned, but I like it already. I decided to read this first, and then read Babywise, which everyone tells me I should at least read "like a recipe" and take out what you want. :) Elisabeth Elliot recommends 300 Babies in her book Shaping of a Christian Family, and I'll have to let you know my final thoughts on it after I finish it off. It's pretty short, so it shouldn't take too long.

My Prayer for Jill

This morning I read Psalm 42 and penned this prayer for my dear friend Jill who recently had a miscarriage. It's my prayer for my other sisters in Christ who are hurting, whose hopes have been deferred.

"Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God."

May she preach to her own soul and find hope in the gospel. Give her hope in You, her Rock.

"all your breakers and your waves have gone over me."

May unspeakable peace come over her like a wave of the ocean. Surround her on every side with your love and faithfulness.

"By day the Lord commands his steadfast love
and at night His song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life."

May she be upheld by Your steadfast love all day, and may you give her Your song in the night. Sing over her with salvation. Renew her heart day by day with the blessed knowledge of your forgiveness and promised hope for the future.

Love you, friend.

My post on Genderblog!

Hey, friends, check out my post I wrote for the CBMW blog, called "Genderblog". You can find my post on books for girls (from yesterday) by clicking here. Please give the editors feedback if you have anything to say about the post -- I would really appreciate it, and so would they! Thanks so much for checking it out!

In connection with this, I'm adding a link to the post I put up in the fall of '07, when I wrote about recommended books for girls. I wrote the post for CBMW from that lengthy article. Here is the full-length version (for Elaine, I hope it helps).

Being Discontent

For years, my biggest sin struggle has been discontentment. Mentally, I could boil it down to mainly being discontent because I was not a mom, or had to work full time, or whatever (you know and I know that the problem is not my circumstances, but stick with me here). This sin would manifest itself in my comparing myself with others, jealousy and complaining (sometimes just inside). So, imagine my foolish heart thinking that NOW that I have a baby on the way, this sin would just evaporate! You are now all saying what I've realized myself: "Yeah, RIGHT!"

Now I have NEW things to compare, NEW things to be jealous over. It's the age-old sin, with new room to breathe and new problems to encounter. I can now compare myself to other pregnant women who weren't sick, yet gained hardly any weight during their first trimester (how do you puke your guts out and GAIN 10 pounds?), or those who are farther along in their pregnancy, or those looking forward to staying at home. The green monster rears his ugly head again, and I see that killing this sin will be a life-long battle. It is certainly not over just because my circumstances have changed.

The Lord graciously reminded me of how ungrateful I have been, and how quickly I can take His blessing for granted. Tuesday night I had a very vivid bad dream. In my dream I was crying out to God and asking Him to help me trust Him. When I woke up yesterday morning, I was so shaken by my dream, and relieved that it was not real, it drove me to my quiet time with Him, where He fed and comforted my soul with His Word. It's amazing how a different Psalm each day can reflect how you are feeling!

So I see that this sin I have let lie dormant is quite alive, and I need now to re-engage in the battle. What a mental battle it is! Oh Lord, You are my portion forever, may I delight in Your will.

Great Quote

“No offence to those of you who buy all your books online, but whenever anyone asks why I invariably prefer to purchase my reading matter in a bricks-and-mortar establishment, I have one simple answer: Because I don’t want to live in a world without bookstores…”

New Years Goals

This past week has been a whirlwind of activity -- going back to work, and lots of celebrations and gatherings in the evenings and weekends, so I've just now begun to think through my goals for the new year. I finished off 2008 with relative ease and simplicity, allowing myself more sleep and ease than normal, and I think it's time I considered a few goals for 2009, to try to keep myself on track! Here is what I've come up with:

1. Thoughtfully reading through the New Testament (not straight through, but alternating epistles and narratives), reading the Psalm of the Day and spending time meditating and journaling for my daily Spiritual Discipline. I've decided not to try to do the whole Bible this year, but I think I still need some structure and an overall goal. If I finish the New Testament early, then I'll consider what to do next.

2. Choosing Carefully what books I want to read. I think I will have less time for reading as a whole this year, so I want to be very purposeful about what I read. I've just started making my list, and I'm including some parenting/child care books in there. I'm woefully behind in that category! Keeping in mind that I'm a new mom, are there any books you'd say are essential for me to read in that category?

3. Blogging once a week minimum. I've been bad about forgetting to post, or being too lazy to put together a whole idea into a post. Partly it's because I haven't read as much in the past months, so I have fewer books to write about.

4. Exersizing as often as my daily schedule allows. I know I'm too busy to find time every day, but I do really want to plan to go to the pool or for a walk as often as I can find time. Now that I'm feeling better, I've REALLY enjoyed excercising!

That's pretty much it! I know that this year is going to be full of changes and learning new things and adjusting a LOT, so I don't want to burden myself with huge goals that I'll never be able to meet. But I think these should help me keep things balanced, and not just clicking around on Facebook aimlessly. :)

Do you have goals for 2009 that you'd like to share?

Merry Christmas from the Neislers!

Merry Christmas everyone!

As I looked through the year's photos, trying to find a good one for our "Christmas Card", I was reminded of what a great year Josh and I have had together in 2008. Starting in January when my little sister Emily came to Louisville to go to college, attending T4G in the spring, summer travels with Josh's family for the weddings, my big 3-0 at the end of the summer and SURPRISING news when we found out we were going to be parents this fall! Those are just the events, but the day-to-day and weekly blessings of fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ we've found through our church, the uplifting times of encouragement in our small group, and excellent teaching we receive both in school and through Clifton Baptist are highlights that aren't often photographed.

So the picture I chose is from the summer, but I liked it because the happiness you see on our faces reflects the joy in our hearts when we think about how richly we have been blessed during this year. Christ has become more dear and the gospel more precious. Our relationships with brothers and sisters have become more intimate. Our times with our families have been thoroughly enjoyable. God has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in Christ, and continues to pour out His favor on us. I am so humbled when I pause and reflect on blessed we are to be anticipating a baby on the way, and many, many of the other good gifts God continues to send our way.

Just a few weeks ago we had some troubling news about my heart from a cardiologist. To make a long story short, I was born with a congenitive heart defect, and the doctor was concerned that I was in trouble because of my pregnancy. God's grace and kindness have never been so close to me during those fearful, unknowing days. I would wake up each morning thinking "thank you for today", and the Lord would pour out His grace, and make me REALLY APPRECIATE each day. His Word was like honey dripping to my tongue, and many of the Psalms I read each morning would come to mind throughout the day and even when I would wake up at night. He has been my Song in the Night, singing over me with Salvation. We were really baby-stepping along, until last Thursday when I had another consultation with a pediatric cardiologist who gave me the opposite diagnosis as the first one. We were in AWE of God's mercy to us, and overjoyed to hear the news, of course! We know He is the Giver of Life, and were so thankful that He had us walk the road of dependence on HIM for every beat of my heart (and the baby's!). PRAISE HIM for His goodness to us!

Please rejoice with us as the year wraps up by reflecting on the GIVER of all good gifts -- our sovereign, merciful God.

7 Shopping Days until Christmas

I'm so sorry I neglected to post a book suggestion yesterday on the blog. I started writing it, and ran out of time. I taught last night at church, so I spent my lunch hour prepping for that rather than finishing my blog post.

Today's suggestion is a Christmas book. I know some of you enjoy getting out special Christmas books to either display in your home, or for the kids to read. I know a family that has all these lovely Christmas gift books on their coffee table that have been given to them from the same family over the years. A Christmas book to pull out year after year can be like an old friend -- especially if it contains the message of Christ's first advent!

The book I'm recommending is One Wintry Night by Ruth Bell Graham. This book is a cross between a children's book (I'd say it is meant for kids, but lots longer than most picture books) and a gift book. It begins with a boy being lost in a snowstorm and finding his way to a kind old lady's home where she takes him in, and tells him the story of redemption, starting with creation, and tracing the need for Christ all the way until His coming. She tells him about Christ's death and resurrection, too. This book is rather long, and beautifully illustrated (though there's not a picture on every page). Last year we had people asking to buy it at the bookstore, and were not able to get it, but this year, we're selling it for $5! I've been recommending it as a hostess gift, or a small add-on gift to unbelieving family or friends. Some of the girls I know here are nannies for nominally Christian families, and I thought it would be a simple gift for the kids. Or maybe you would like it for your kids!

I'll be back tomorrow to complete my week of books-for-gifts recommendations.

9 Shopping Days until Christmas

Today I want to feature a book that is for kids, but would make an excellent family gift, or for someone who is a book lover. It is Dangerous Journey: the Story of Pilgrim's Progress by Oliver Hunkin. This children's version of the Christian classic is well told and amazingly illustrated. If you'd like to look at the inside, here is the link to the Amazon reader. However, I would never advise you to endanger your local retailers by buying online! Please check with your local bookstore or bookstore chain and see if they can get this wonderful book for you.

We have been reading Pilgrim's Progress with our small group this year, and I have found it to be so insightful and encouraging. I know several families that read Dangerous Journey together as a family, or with the children before they go to bed, and the timeless story of Christian's travels never grow old! I LOVE this book! Perhaps you'd like something classic like this to give as a gift to a family that means a lot to you, or you're looking for a meaningful gift for your own child or niece or nephew -- this is the best suggestion I can think of!