Living Out Biblical Manhood -- My Cousin Steve

This is my cousin, Steve Hill, or at least, the way I remember him from my childhood. In my huge Benzing family of 30+ cousins and 30+ second cousins, Steve ranks up there as a universal favorite for everyone. My whole life I have known Steve to be a kind and gentle guy, easy to talk with. His soft-spoken humor and friendly demeanor endears him to all who know him. Steve is the son of my dad's older sister, Aunt Pat. He and his wife Lorraine, have 4 children: Josh, Isaac, Joseph and Anna.

Steve came to Christ as a young child, and after attending a spiritual disciplines retreat in junior high, he increasingly committed his life to being sold out for Christ -- knowing Him and making Him known. During college, he worked with international students from around the world staying in London, where he was encouraged to press on in his faith, and grow and learn much. He still enjoys serving in Christ's name internationally, and recently took a missions trip with his oldest son to Costa Rica.

When I asked him what God had been teaching him lately, he replied "How important it is to prepare my children to live for Christ: to make Him the center of their life, to love unconditionally, to prepare for suffering, to make the most of every opportunity. I am not sure how well we are doing at this -- some days are much better than others and we have to take the long view on their discipleship." This seasoned dad had lots of great insight on investing in your children. Here is just the tip of the iceberg, some really great stuff I don't hear a lot of people saying:

"Understand that you are responsible for the education of your children. God will hold you accountable. Read the Bible to your children regularly. they will retain and recall so much that you read to them -- even years later. There will be constant attempts to crowd out this particular activity -- make it a priority (and try to make it interesting :)"

"Manage deliberately the transition from boy to man. I am in the midst of this and trying to properly manage transfer of responsibility and accountability."

"Control and preview the media that your children have access to. Be firm on avoiding evil here. Your kids will push early for more freedoms in this area, but once you are proven to be firm, they will also have this conviction. Take time to explain to your children why things are right and wrong. Commands that they cannot watch certain shows or wear certain clothes are empty rules and regulations without clear explanation. Take time to research this so you can systematically explain this to them from the Scriptures."

I really appreciated Steve's humble masculinity. He is a servant leader to his family. I asked him what advice he'd give to husbands out there, and here is a bit of what he gave me (I'm quoting again, because what he wrote was so good!):

"Be generous with your wealth, recognizing God's ownership. Have the right attitude towards money and possessions -- this is the downfall of so many. I would suggest reading Money, Possessions and Eternity by Randy Alcorn -- one of the best books on the right perspective on possessions and ownership that I have read, and will help provide principles for your family."

"Do not be lured into the passive 'silence of Adam'. There are times when your wife or children will want to go in a different direction that you feel uncomfortable with. If your still small voice gives you concern, speak up and work this out with your family. God will use you and your wife in different ways to have sensitivity to sin and His leading. Speaking your concerns is hard because of the potential conflict it may cause, but it is essential."

I now know Steve to not only be kind and gentle, but wise and godly, an example of Biblical Manhood living out loud in this modern era where such men are few and far between. Steve told me he was working to internalize his personal mission statement: "I want to be a servant of God for his purposes, and a servant of others in obedience to his call. I want to recognize that I am a steward of God for all the possessions, relationships, family and opportunities he has given me. I am a constant student of His Word and of the life and world He has created. I am a citizen of heaven and all that entails -- an ambassador for Christ, an alien and stranger on earth, a subject of the King and His kingdom, and a brother to my family in the body of Christ."

Thanks, Steve. You are a treasure to your family and all who are blessed to know you.