My Grandpa

It's been just under 2 months since my Mom's funeral, and today I'm preparing for my Grandpa's. I think my perspective on funerals has changed a bit. I now want to embrace them as a way to honor the person who has passed away (since both my mother and grandfather were godly, honorable people), and to glorify God for the work of grace He has done in their lives and through their lives. I won't have a part in Grandpa's funeral, since I am one of 30 grandkids (the baby I'm expecting will be the 35th great-grandchild), but I do want to honor Grandpa here on my blog.

Grandpa was always a gentle giant to me. It was amazing how he still seemed like that in my recent adult years when he'd become so much more slight in size, and not much taller than me anymore. His deep rumbling voice always called my dad "Billy", and I loved to hear him talk to my big dad like he was still a kid. My dad and his siblings modeled for the grandkids the way to honor and respect our grandparents. We did not EVER ignore them or any request they gave, and we dropped our silly childishness when Grandpa or Grandma was speaking to us -- only real, honest answers were necessary, no displays for attention. I think it was easy to respond to them like that, because they seemed worthy of real respect. I've seen many of my cousins treating my grandparents in the exact same way, so I know many of us feel this way.

My Grandpa was a godly man. His favorite song was the Doxology, which we always sang before meals and family gatherings. Last September he turned 90, and we had a birthday party for him. The big cake was decorated with the words of the Doxology. It was the only time I ever heard people sing the "amen" at the end of a song when I was a kid. If I was standing near my parents when we sang, I could hear my mom harmonizing the "amen". Grandpa was always proud to hear us quoting scripture (Luke 2, every Christmas!), and loved singing old hymns.

A recent favorite memory, which I'm sure I'll always treasure as precious was when Grandpa came to Illinois for my mom's funeral, just a couple months ago. The Lord blessed him with extra strength and good health for the trip, and we enjoyed time with Grandpa, a bit more like the old days. One evening Grandpa asked for a songbook, and my aunt brought it to me to sing with him. I sat on the couch by him with my niece Cede, and we flipped through that book, singing every song we recognized. I was so hoarse since it was the day after Mom's funeral, and had been a little sick and things, but I would never have stopped singing (besides, Grandpa didn't seem to mind). My sister Abby recorded a tiny bit with her camera phone -- me and Grandpa singing "Mansion Over the Hilltop". :)

I'm so glad for setting aside a couple days where you really don't have to do anything besides reflect and consider the goodness of Christ in the life of the loved one lost. I know funerals aren't always that sort of bittersweet celebration -- for those who die without Christ, it is only mourning and pain. I am thankful to the utmost to think about how my Grandpa (and my mom) are in Heaven, rejoicing before the throne.

And when before the throne, I stand in Him complete,
Jesus died my soul to save, my lips shall still repeat!
Jesus paid it all! All to Him I owe,
Sin has left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.

Living Out Biblical Manhood -- My Cousin Steve

This is my cousin, Steve Hill, or at least, the way I remember him from my childhood. In my huge Benzing family of 30+ cousins and 30+ second cousins, Steve ranks up there as a universal favorite for everyone. My whole life I have known Steve to be a kind and gentle guy, easy to talk with. His soft-spoken humor and friendly demeanor endears him to all who know him. Steve is the son of my dad's older sister, Aunt Pat. He and his wife Lorraine, have 4 children: Josh, Isaac, Joseph and Anna.

Steve came to Christ as a young child, and after attending a spiritual disciplines retreat in junior high, he increasingly committed his life to being sold out for Christ -- knowing Him and making Him known. During college, he worked with international students from around the world staying in London, where he was encouraged to press on in his faith, and grow and learn much. He still enjoys serving in Christ's name internationally, and recently took a missions trip with his oldest son to Costa Rica.

When I asked him what God had been teaching him lately, he replied "How important it is to prepare my children to live for Christ: to make Him the center of their life, to love unconditionally, to prepare for suffering, to make the most of every opportunity. I am not sure how well we are doing at this -- some days are much better than others and we have to take the long view on their discipleship." This seasoned dad had lots of great insight on investing in your children. Here is just the tip of the iceberg, some really great stuff I don't hear a lot of people saying:

"Understand that you are responsible for the education of your children. God will hold you accountable. Read the Bible to your children regularly. they will retain and recall so much that you read to them -- even years later. There will be constant attempts to crowd out this particular activity -- make it a priority (and try to make it interesting :)"

"Manage deliberately the transition from boy to man. I am in the midst of this and trying to properly manage transfer of responsibility and accountability."

"Control and preview the media that your children have access to. Be firm on avoiding evil here. Your kids will push early for more freedoms in this area, but once you are proven to be firm, they will also have this conviction. Take time to explain to your children why things are right and wrong. Commands that they cannot watch certain shows or wear certain clothes are empty rules and regulations without clear explanation. Take time to research this so you can systematically explain this to them from the Scriptures."

I really appreciated Steve's humble masculinity. He is a servant leader to his family. I asked him what advice he'd give to husbands out there, and here is a bit of what he gave me (I'm quoting again, because what he wrote was so good!):

"Be generous with your wealth, recognizing God's ownership. Have the right attitude towards money and possessions -- this is the downfall of so many. I would suggest reading Money, Possessions and Eternity by Randy Alcorn -- one of the best books on the right perspective on possessions and ownership that I have read, and will help provide principles for your family."

"Do not be lured into the passive 'silence of Adam'. There are times when your wife or children will want to go in a different direction that you feel uncomfortable with. If your still small voice gives you concern, speak up and work this out with your family. God will use you and your wife in different ways to have sensitivity to sin and His leading. Speaking your concerns is hard because of the potential conflict it may cause, but it is essential."

I now know Steve to not only be kind and gentle, but wise and godly, an example of Biblical Manhood living out loud in this modern era where such men are few and far between. Steve told me he was working to internalize his personal mission statement: "I want to be a servant of God for his purposes, and a servant of others in obedience to his call. I want to recognize that I am a steward of God for all the possessions, relationships, family and opportunities he has given me. I am a constant student of His Word and of the life and world He has created. I am a citizen of heaven and all that entails -- an ambassador for Christ, an alien and stranger on earth, a subject of the King and His kingdom, and a brother to my family in the body of Christ."

Thanks, Steve. You are a treasure to your family and all who are blessed to know you.

Aunt Diane

This is my Aunt Diane, one of my dad's 4 sisters (pictured here with my Grandma Benzing who passed away in December). She is the 3rd of 9 children, mother of 3, and grandmother of 12. Can you tell why I thought she looked like a movie star when I was a little girl? I always thought my glamorous aunt looked like Jackie Kennedy or Annette Funicello. She certainly has the poise and grace to match her spunk. Aunt Diane has the aptitude to make everyday life enjoyable -- reading on her deck, playing with the grandkids, or laughing hysterically over old Facebook pictures. "Celebrate life" she says, "Just like my mom did."

Diane has been married for 44 years to Bob Adrian. I just love this picture of her walking down the isle with my Grandpa. She fell in love with a man who has a pastor's heart, and so in her marriage, she has also been a ministry partner for 44 years. Since that is what I am training for right now, I asked her to share something to encourage young women whose husbands are in ministry. Here is what she said:

"I have been fortunate in all the churches we have served in that they have let me be who I am and serve where my heart is. Even though I do not play the piano, which is necessary in some churches for a pastor's wife, I have found other places to serve. My first responsibility is to my God, then my husband and children. The success in ministry is found the the changed lives of people who sit under our teaching & ministries-ESPECIALLY THOSE IN OUR OWN HOME."

I know Aunt Diane has tasted the fruit of years of ministry, both to those in her own home as well as in her church. When I asked her how she sees herself growing in godliness and love for the Savior, she wisely answered "Growing up in a Christian home or even being a Pastor's wife helps but does not assure one of this personal relationship with God." I appreciate her humility and teachable spirit -- she realized the importance of watching her walk in her 40's, and has enjoyed the journey of growing ever since. In addition to Bible studies at church, she also leads a small group of women who are giving themselves to prayer.

I'm so thankful for my Aunt Diane who is beautiful both inside and out!

Benzing Drama

The large, widespread Benzing family has known a number of successes on the stage. I guess you could say most of us share a bit of flare for the dramatic. From my dad in his frequently repeating "narrator" roles, to my uncle Matt as Harold Hill back in the day, to the current generation of Benzing actors and actresses (myself just a blip on the screen among them), we must have something in our genes that makes us unafraid to don those costumes and take on the role with abandon (side story -- the speech teacher at my college once used me as an example of someone who had "abandon" in her drama class. I was not in this class. I'm pretty sure it was a compliment.)

None of us have the experience that my cousin Elise Benzing has. She has been in "countless" shows from age 4 to 20, including Annie in Annie, Louisa in the Sound of Music, and her favorite, Alice in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Elise auditioned to be a part of the theatre program at the University of Central Florida when she was 18, and was one of only 12 students accepted. But after 3 semesters and several challenges to her faith, she decided to walk away. It was, as she said, a "Very hard time in life while considering that maybe God didn't want me in the secular theatre world (it is, I've come to realize, a sinful sinful sinful world. Surely not what God intended for it... and God, who used so many parables, must have had wonderful plans for 'storytelling' (theatre)... but it would take a stronger person than me to live for the Lord in that sector of the world). All things work together for good though and this was no exception."

These days, Elise lives with her mom and younger siblings -- playing a great role as an outstanding big sis! She is hoping and saving to go back to school, perhaps to BJU and study in a different field. I just love Elise's transparency and openness! She has a vibrant walk with Christ that is a huge encouragement to me. When I asked her to tell me unique ways God has blessed her, she answered "He has sought me: Luke 15: 4-7. Over and over again, I rebelled against God but he never stopped burdening my heart. I am so thankful that he asks us to know him and believe on him by faith. I am so glad he strengthens us in our afflictions. I am so awed by his mercy and his promises."

Elise also frankly and openly shared with me about her struggle with eating disorders. Her fight has come through counting the words of Scripture as true, dependence on God's grace and attacking the sin (she was pointed in telling me that it was not a sickness!). I think Elise is a beautiful girl who has an amazing story to tell, and will continue to bless those in her path her whole life long. She will make an amazing wife for some lucky guy, as well as a mentor for girls who are walking the same path she has walked.

Don't you love my gorgeous cousin?? My life is richer because of her!

Christmas with the Benzings

Smithers in her cute footy pajamas!

All my sisters, sister-in-law and neice!

The Night of the Giver

My cousin Elizabeth and her husband Paul have an original and intriguing tradition they've observed for the past 11 Christmases, which I asked if I could share here as a part of my series on the Benzing family. I also thought it would be a timely post for parents who might be concerned about the greed they see in their children at Christmas (it's there all year, right? Just more obvious now!). They came up with The Night of the Giver for 2 reasons: "First, we wanted to exalt Christ and give him the spotlight on Christmas morning. Second, we wanted our children to learn the joy of giving and to practically experience the joy of giving."

The Dziadul family has 5 children, so they celebrate for 7 nights -- each family member getting their own night to be "the giver". When it is your night to be the giver, you plan and pay for the activities for your family and give your gifts, while receiving nothing yourself except the joy of giving. Sometimes they go out to eat, to a movie, ice skating, caroling to shut-ins -- whatever the giver plans on his or her night.

Paul and Elizabeth give out their gifts on their nights as well, and Christmas morning is the time to consider Christ's great gift to us. They "sit around the tree, read the Advent account in scripture, sing carols & thank God for his indescribable gift in Christ."

How does that strike you? Perhaps this idea could be adapted and embraced with your family!

Benzing Art

My first feature on the Benzing family is my cousin Geoff Benzing. He's an artist, a very good one, I might add, whose art you can view, and even buy here. I'm not an artist, but I love art! I was so thrilled when Geoff's sister Corrie (who I saw this week at Grandma's funeral) told me about BenzingArt where I could look at Geoff's works. I'm a big fan. I especially love his watercolor works like this one on the right, and his acrylics and oils, like the owl at the bottom (I love owls!). His site has contact information if you are interested in purchasing his work.

When we were little, Geoff had cancer. In fact, most of my childhood included praying for Geoff every time we prayed. My uncle Gene, Geoff's dad, died of cancer when I was a little girl, so praying for Geoff was very important to us. Uncle Gene was my dad's younger brother and best friend. I remember him as a funny uncle who used to pretend my ponytails were motorcycle handlebars (a game I've often played since with little girls).

Geoff has been in remission for 17 years, which is amazing. As a child, I often thought of his healing when I heard people speak about God answering prayers. I don't know that there is anyone else I've more consistently prayed for for healing! Maybe as you look at Geoff's artwork, you will consider praying for someone in your life that you feel like you've been praying for a long time.

In Grandma's Honor

Thank you all for your kind and encouraging words concerning my Grandma's passing. Josh and I are taking off for her funeral in Cincinnati tomorrow. Please pray that God will be our portion, and Christ will continue to be more sweet and precious than ever. I am looking forward to seeing an assembly of the large Benzing family -- please pray that we will be a great source of encouragement. It is amazing how much more dear Christ has been to me this week. Any thought of Him -- His incarnation, atonement, resurrection, etc. -- has nearly brought me to tears. In a way, as sad as I have been, it has been a sort of holy week for me, meditating on the goodness of God.

Here are a few links and words in honor of my grandma:

• Her Obituary

• Josh's post

• My Cousin Rebecca's post

• My Cousin Elizabeth's post

• My Cousin Elise's fine words: "I am always in awe to be part of this family. God is so merciful, so gracious, and has blessed so abundantly. ... it thrills me to sit and think of my Grandmother in Heaven, even as I cry and recognize how time has passed and everyone - my own parents, myself - has gotten older. But to think! Heaven!"

• The incredible words of C.S. Lewis at the conclusion of The Last Battle:

"Have you not guessed?" said Aslan.

Their hearts leaped and a wild hope rose within them.

"There was a real railway accident," said Aslan softly. "Your father and mother and all of you are -- as you used to call it in the Shadowlands -- dead. The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning."

And as he spoke, He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. Al their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before."

Anna Mae

My grandma, Anna Mae Benzing, passed away this evening. I had been waiting several days to hear it was so, as she had been suffering from poor health for quite some time, and just recently she was worse. I know I am so blessed to live 29 1/2 years with all 4 grandparents still living in their own homes quite the same as they had all during my childhood.

Grandma is my dad's mom, and he is the middle of 9 children. The Benzing family is huge. All my aunts and uncles have children, and some of them quite a lot of children, some of which have children as well (understandably, there are several cousins named Anna, including my sister). The last time I saw the majority of these family members was at my cousin Sarah's wedding in 2004 which coincided with my grandparent's 65th wedding anniversary. It was amazing to see all these people, some of whom I knew dearly while others were perfect strangers -- strangers that looked alike and amazingly had a great deal in common. This is my grandma's legacy. True, life was not easy for her and my grandfather with their 9 children, but the Biblical instruction that they invested in those children has multiplied a great deal more than 9-fold. The overwhelming majority of people in the extended Benzing family are believers. What a common bond! We share Christ! How blessed we are!

These past days I've been rather sad, thinking and remembering my grandma. I always remember how glamorous she was, usually decked out with sequins or sparkles when the family gathered for Christmas eve. She was such a fun and funny grandma, whose sense of humor could rival any gathered there (which is saying a great deal, if you've ever been in the presence of my dad/cousins/aunts and uncles). I remember talking to her as a young adult and her telling me how proud she was of me, and encouraging me to serve Christ.

My dad told me that she passed peacefully, like falling asleep and not waking up. That is a comforting thought, of course. But even more comforting is the thrill in my soul when I think of her as I Corinthians 13 tells us "face to face" . . . with Christ. There is hope in the gospel, my dear, big wild and crazy Benzing family! There is precious hope! The hope of someday and eternity, "being an ingredient in the Divine Happiness" and receiving the crushing "weight of glory" from Christ Himself!

Family Christmases #3 -- Benzing Family

My dad has a huge family, and their tradition is to get together on Christmas eve (this dates back to prehistoric days, I believe, when the Guffs still ruled over Horseshoe Bend). Of course, not everyone in such a large family can all come every year, but whoever can, does, and this year we had quite a crowd all snug together in my Grandma and Grandpa's house. I think it's amazing that my dad's parents still live in the house in which he and his 8 brothers and sisters grew up.

Here's a shot of some of the girl cousins: Emily, Abby, Me, Sarah and Caroline (others playing in the background, I guess they are less "cheesy").


I pose with my Aunt Pat (we discovered at this visit that she and Josh share a favorite author) who is always a trusty attendant at the Christmas Eve festivities, and my Aunt Deb (who drove with my Uncle Matt and 4 kids all the way from New York to Cincinnati!).


This precious child brightened up the evening for everyone! "Little Abby" hopped, skipped and jumped around all night showing her presents, playing like she was a variety of animals and munching on tomatoes. I hope I have a little one this good someday!


I am so blessed to still have all of my grandparents. Here I am with my Grandma: Anna Mae Benzing. She is quite a classy lady, ready to shine in her Christmas Eve attire. I appreciate the heritage of godliness in the Benzing family. There is an affectionate bond when you gather with family members who share a common history, but an even stronger bond when those members also share a common future.

Family Christmases #2 -- Immediate Benzing Family

My immediate family always gathers to exchange gifts about a week before Christmas (to allow for everyone's travel). This year was notably special with the first little grandchild in the family (niece to me)! Here is a picture of "Schmader-cakes" opening her first gift from me (books, what else??).


My sister Emily waits pensively for the free-for all to begin. Just kidding. The fire was so lovely that I tried to capture the glow in the room, but I fear it looks a bit blurred.







Mom was REALLY surprised by her gift from the girls: an American Girl doll! She has wanted a Molly doll since I got my Kirsten doll 19 years ago. We decided we wanted to treat Marjalo with a big gift because she has gone through so much this year. She cried when she opened it -- I think we did a good job!!

My Sisters

A while back I posted some pictures of Josh's family and commented on our relationship, so now I want to post some stuff about my family and how much I love them -- especially my sisters!
Anybody who does not have a sister does not understand the bond that can be there. I have been thankful for my sisters over and over; they are very dear friends to me! After seeing Josh's mom deal with her mother dying and the comfort she took with her sister -- who is SO different from her, but shares that common bond of sisterhood -- I decided that I want to have more than one girl. So let me know how you let God know that . . . anybody got ideas? Sarah? Sandy? Just kidding.

Above is a picture of us all at the Father-Daughter Dinner in June (we are wearing "We Heart Dad" shirts made by Emily and I). My sister Nancy is the girl with short hair in the back row. Nanc is my adopted sister for the past 4+ years. She is growing in her people skills and has an unbelievable ability to memorize every word to songs and movies! Unfortunately, I could not find any other good pics of her! I guess she is not the camera hog the rest of my sisters and I are! Here are some other pictures of my sisters and family that I love!


Josh and Abby at Boyce Preview weekend a couple weeks ago. Abby is 14 and much more tomboyish than Emily. She is sometimes buddies with Josh, though he still wishes I had a little brother! :) Abby is very gifted with children and loves to babysit and hog my little niece, Cede! People always tell Abby she looks like me . . . sorry Ab! I guess if they mean the natural beauty look, then that is TRUE!

Emily is the girliest girly girl in the family. She is also very artistic and talented singer. Here she is singing at International Teen's Involved. What I appreciate about Emily is her love for the Lord! She is WAY more spiritually grounded than I was at 17! Isn't she beautiful? No wonder all those boys are crushing on her!

I couldn't find any recent ones of just Anna and I, but here is one of the 4 of us on my Dad's 60th birthday in September. Anna is my closest in age sister, and she is married and works as a nurse. Anna and I shared a room growing up, and we are a testimony that that can WORK and sisters can still be buddies!

Thank you, Jesus, for my sweet sisters! Please take them from my open hands and use them for YOUR glory!!