I've recently been convicted about my own materialism. It's been an ongoing mental struggle, and I decided to share it here on my blog so you can all hold me accountable. . . and maybe relate with me.
Since I became a mom, I have become OBSESSED with things. Primarily, I am obsessed with baby things, and chief among those, clothing. Now, if you looked in my daughter's closet and I could tell you how much I've actually spent on her garments, you would probably disagree with me. I don't buy clothes for her very often, and when I do, they are always always incredible deals. I was oh-so-showered with cute things at all my baby showers, and when I pulled out the "save for next year tub" I'd packed up last summer, I found a bunch of stuff for this summer (thanks to you if you're reading this and you gave me 12 mo summer clothes! That was super considerate!!). I also have a VERY kind crafting friend who set Susie up with shirts and shorts for this summer. I also have an extremely generous mother-in-laws that buys her far-away granddaughter tons of cute things, and a sister-in-law who has lent me her daughter's hand-me-downs. Because of all that generosity,I could probably only list a dozen or so outfits I've actually purchased (not counting socks from the dollar store or whatever).
But regardless of my thriftiness, I think my obsession has still raged in my mind. I may not be falling into the trap of over-spending or hoarding, but I am still materialistic nonetheless. With Susie's first birthday coming up, I've been esp
ecially dwelling on EXACTLY what kind of birthday outfit I want her to have. Wait, I shouldn't say I started dwelling on this recently, I basically found a dress I adored LAST YEAR. . . thank goodness I didn't go ahead and splurge on the $50 lovely-but-overpriced garment. I bought a adorable vintage sailor dress for $6 on consignment, and socks and shoes are covered. . . now I'm considering a new hair clip and of course the important first birthday bib! I have not spent any money yet, but I've decided I'll let myself splurge on that if I can learn to sew her a bib myself. See? Thrifty! Clearly, I'm overcoming this battle with materialism.
No. . . I'm not. I was jarred awake when I received a recent World Vision catalog in the mail. I gave World Vision gifts at Christmas, so I guess that put me on their mailing list. On the page where you can sponsor new clothes for 15 children for $35, there was an absolutely adorable picture of a little boy holding new shoes and wearing a new baseball cap, grinning from EAR TO EAR! It had this quote: "There is no one to buy me clothes. . . my clothes are torn and dirty."
It took my breath away. I about burst into tears. What has Susie ever worn but GORGEOUS and nearly BRAND NEW clothing?? Oh, how selfish I am to constantly be focused on the outward appearance! I must dig in and battle this sin HARDER before it begins to affect her as she grows up. I need to remember the gospel, and preach Christ to myself! I 
must work immediately to get to the heart of my materialism, and stay out of shops, and off etsy and watch less television. . .
And I've decided to fight where I'll feel it. I'm giving the money I make this weekend at a city-wide consignment sale to World Vision. Maybe I'll buy new clothing for some children. Or support an AIDS orphan, or send a new mother a baby-care kit. It depends on how much I sell.
Anyone out there want to join me? 'Tis the season for rummage sales and consignment sales, and maybe you are someone who sells your stuff to make a little extra pocket money. Or maybe you make a little extra some other way -- a little "mad money" that isn't really essential, or really part of your family's budget. Do you want to join me in showing your kiddos how blessed we are here to have MORE than enough, and that it is a joy to bless others? Please at least click on the World Vision link and take a look at the faces of those poverty-stricken people. If you're like me, it might make your daughter's new hair bow seem less important.
A friend posed a question on facebook about children's worship music: should it primarily be singable, memorable or theologically deep? Obviously all THREE is best option, right? What music is there out there that fits the bill? Here are some I like -- and I'm sure there are more!
1. Emu Kids music from Australia. Our children's minister gave these CDs to me and Susie as a Christmas gift this year, and I've really enjoyed them. I left "Very Very Very Big God" in Illinois for my niece Me
rcedes to listen to, and yup. . . she's addicted. She and my dad are ALWAYS singing the songs from that CD! I'd give these a 10 for singability, 10 for memorability and 7 for theological depth (they are perfect for preschoolers). J is for Jesus is my personal favorite.
2. Sovereign Grace Music for kids. Thus far, there are 2 albums just for kids by Sovereign Grace, and understandably, they score a whopping 10 on the theologically deep scale! There are songs on the Trinity, God's Sovereignty, his holiness . . . it really goes beyond the typical kid music. Now, each song differs a bit on the singability/memorability level . . . but I'd say they easily get 6-8. These songs are RICH. . . excellent for the whole family, and NICE and upbeat!! Emu kids is preschool focused, I'd say "Awesome God" by SG is more like tweens. Take a listen on their website!
3. Praise Factory Music by Connie Dever and co. ALERT! WE'RE TALKIN' FREE!!! Everything Connie has put up online is free for educational purposes, so help yourself. WHAT a blessing and a ministry!! These score a 9 on all criteria. She has done an excellent job writing 150 scripture memory songs and "big idea" songs -- here's what Connie herself says about them: "I think you will find the songs useful and enjoyable--though humble--for use with the curriculum and with families at home."
4. "Songs Jesus Said" by the Gettys. Don't 
let the cover fool you -- these songs are pretty conservative and fairly simple. They are mainly songs about Jesus' life as recorded in the New Testament, thus the title "Songs Jesus Said". Carl Stam (my church's beloved music pastor) says, “Kristyn’s Songs that Jesus Said are amazing.” I'd personally give them an 8 for singability, 7 for memorability and 10 for theological depth.
5. Michael Card's Lullaby CDs: "Sleep Sound in Jesus" and "Come to the Cradle". I have put my daughter to bed every single night listening to these precious, precious songs. I love how Michael Card freely expresses the entire range of human experience in his music, and these lullabies are like that. If you can snag the book that goes with the "Sleep Sound in Jesus" I'd say get it!!! Those lyrics and devotions were just honey to my soul when Susie was brand new, and I am frequently encouraged or comforted when I hear them playing in her room. You don't often find beautiful rich songs about tears, or rest, but are those NOT a part of each and every day in the life of a baby (and the baby's parents)? One of my faves has a line that says "so goodnight my forever friend", that just brings tears every time I hear it. I'd rank these with a 10 for depth, an 8 for singability (the tunes are super memorable), but just a 5 for memorability (for the LYRICS). Some are obvious, but there are quite a few lines that just slip by.
I have Steve Green's "Hide 'Em in Your Heart" for Susie, too, but we haven't had a chance to listen to it too much, so I couldn't really rank them yet -- but it seems pretty good! Please feel free to post your favorites in the comments.
I have been getting quite a bit of feedback from young women who are saying how much they wish they could have a Titus 2 relationship with an older woman in their life. Perhaps they are discouraged because the older women in their church gossip instead of teach, and or some candidates cannot be trusted. Others have admitted that they are selfishly hesitant to accept input from the older women they know, perhaps because they feel like they don't have anything to teach them, or that perhaps hearing what they will say is too hard to hear.
We need to work through this mindset. It may very well be true that godly, theologically informed older women are few and far between. Gretchen Wrights don't grow on trees. But we certainly don't all have to have the wife of a seminary professor to guide us in our walk with Christ (as nice as that would be!). Allow me to make some suggestions that might help us, as younger women, to do what we can to fill that Titus 2 need.
1. Initiate. Open your eyes and look around and prayerfully consider the older women in your local church. How well do you know them? Have you ever initiated a friendship with them? Have you invited them to tea, or dropped by with hands to help and an ear to listen? Consider how the Lord would use you to bless another woman's life and then ask Him to guide you to a special woman who you can glean wisdom from. And don't be discouraged or give up if those plans don't seem to come to fruition. It's certainly not a mistake to bless others even if they don't respond in kind. Perhaps you may sort of mentor them, in some ways, by encouraging their walk with Christ, and their growing in grace through your conversations. You might certainly learn practical wisdom that comes with years lived out, and trials endured. I heard a speaker remark that in her church there were so many godly young women who had sort of co-mentoring relationships with the older women they knew. The younger women had the theological training and the passion to give, and the older women had experience and wisdom to pass on. You may very well unearth a gold mine. Who can tell?
2. Band together. What friends spur you on the most? Plan time with them! Is there a younger woman in your church that seems to desire to walk with Christ? Seek her out, and engage her in conversation. A younger friend, or someone close to your age can serve as a sort of mentor, walking together with you. You may not have all the answers for one another, but you can listen, and pray. You may not have the life experience to advise the best plan of action, but you can search the Scriptures together. Such friends can be God's tools for your sanctification no matter what their age.
3. Read. Honestly, dear friends, we are shutting ourselves away from wonderful godly wisdom, truth and encouragement if we do not read good books by faithful women. Choose a woman whose writings have influenced you, or that you have enjoyed the most, and read everything she has written. I am reading everything by Elisabeth Elliot, Helen Roseveare, Corrie Ten Boom and Carolyn Mahaney. How much their words have guided me through the years, I cannot begin to say! Be discerning about your reading choices. Of course I support reading just for pleasure, but be sure to consider authors who can be spiritual mothers to you. What a blessing those women can be!
Finally, older sisters: I know you're out there. You are serving in your church, your families, your ministries or your work. Perhaps you may feel the pull from every direction, and it seems there simply is no time left to invest in your younger sisters. Perhaps you humbly feel there is nothing you are equipped to teach, so you have avoided those sort of relationships. Can I encourage you to seek the Lord in prayer and ask Him to guide you to young women with whom you can share your life? Often just spending time together, life upon life, is the best teaching tool there is! Do you have a free afternoon? Ask a younger girl to come over for coffee. I promise she won't mind the laundry sitting in the basket -- maybe she'll even help you fold it!
I have this friend at my church who is also named Gretchen, and I really really like and admire her. She is the mom of 5 boys, and has an engaging personality -- friendly, expressive, relaxed and talkative. Tonight I got to hang out with her for a little while over a cup of iced coffee while Josh hung out with her boys (her husband is traveling in central Asia). I feel like this brief evening was an answer to prayer I'd had on my heart and lips for several years now -- for an older friend who would encourage me in the gospel and practically live out Titus 2 (the older women teaching the younger) in my life.
Gretchen encouraged me to love my husband -- to delight in who he is and how God is growing and using him. She encouraged me to be content in my circumstances, serving through Josh's school years as the breadwinner so that down the road I can be at home with children. She shared her own experiences of coming to realize how small she was and how big God was and that He loved her anyway, and how that actually changes your everyday life! We discussed keeping our homes, not over-organizing our husband's closets or pridefully obsessing over a clean house so that we look good in the eyes of our friends. Gretchen said "you have to find the balance between 'how much do I need to be clean and organized to serve my family?' and 'how much is this organizing is just to serve myself?'" I was so refreshed by her honesty and wisdom.
All of this was discussed in perhaps an hour's time. There was no program, no big to-do. It was simply life-on-life relationship, Christ's love our bond.
Friends, I share this to encourage you, as young women, to seek out the wisdom of an older friend! In some churches, these women are more plentiful than the younger women are, and you have a plethora to choose from. In others (like mine), the elder's wives are in high demand, and you need to be considerate and content with the time you can spend together.
Most everyone who reads this knows a younger woman who would benefit from your friendship, if you took some time here and there to just ask her to hang out and share your life with her. This is being the body of Christ together!
This is Caitlin. She is my new little sister from the junior high youth group. She's actually the big sister to 5 younger brothers and sisters, so I figure she needs a big sis -- so here I am. She is a HUGE reader. Every time I give her books, she gobbles them up! Her mom and dad told me she is quickly outreading them! Well, I imagine Caitlin will also outread me eventually, but while I can, I'll make her a summer reading list. Here you go:
1. The Penderwicks by Jeanne Birdsall. This is a GREAT summer reading story! I think you'll like all the sisters in it, as I did. Batty is so much like Claire, and you are rather Rosalind. It's a fun, sweet story.
2. The Fisherman's Lady by George MacDonald -- Beth Bloom suggested these to me, and they are excellent. Out of print, but I have them, if you'd like to borrow.
3. The Marquis' Secret by George MacDonald -- sequel to #2
4. The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate Dicamilo (light read, but outstanding story with strong redemptive themes).
5. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Your mom and dad can call this one, but I think it's just amazing, and that you'll really like it.
6. The Saturdays by Elizabeth Enright. I hope you haven't already read this. I love these stories so much! If you like it, read the rest of the Quartet: The Four-Story Mistake, Then There Were Five, Spiderweb for Two.
7. Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper. Again -- maybe your parents already had you read this, but if not, it's such a solid book and an inspiration.
8. Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss. Fiction, but written like a girl's diary as she grows up and shows how she wrestles with her faith, first to believe, then to begin to be sanctified as she becomes a young wife and mother.
Happy reading, Caitlin! Love you, little sis!
Tonight was our final event for the Pendergraph Women's Ministry on campus. I'm in charge of coordinating the food, and we decided to have a tea (to my delight!). The seminary graciously let us borrow this gorgeous tea service and glass teacups for 200. Along with a variety of tea sandwiches, 
cookies and scones (complete with clotted Devonshire cream and lemon curd) it made a lovely spread, as you can see by the pictures. I chose some of my favorite teas for the occasion -- PG Tips and Twinings -- and served them with cream, lemon, honey and sugar cubes.
The event was on women mentoring women, and each board member was in charge of decorating a table in honor of her mentor. I did mine in honor of DiAnne Humrichous, who was mentor in ministry to children. I've written about Miss DiAnne before -- she was wonderfully gifted. Her daughter Jill sent 
me these pictures to complement the layout. I put my Bible and a little lamp to highlight DiAnne's love for the Word. She memorized chapters and chapters of the Bible, and taught generations of children to do the same. I also put out a vase of roses -- her signature! My friend Jill even named her daughter Lauren Rose in honor 
of her mother, because DiAnne loved roses so much.
I was so blessed to be with so many godly women who love Christ supremely and serve Him with their lives. Here is a picture of my friend and helpe
r, Rhonda, who worked as my assistant on the board this year. This sister has been a surprise new friend for me this year. I'm always in awe of who God brings into our lives to encourage our walk with him. Who has influenced your life in Christ?
If you like tea, please check out Gracious Hospitality -- she is featuring a tea marathon on her blog, with links to many others.
I had the blessing of tasting a bit of the Together for the Gospel conference this week, which was primarily for pastors, but open to anyone to attend. I was certainly in the minority of women present -- less than 100, I'd guess. I mentioned to a friend it was strange to see the line outside the men's room at a huge conference like this and then be able to walk right in the ladies' room!
Most of the direct exhortations were to the pastors in attendance -- which was fitting and appropriate, but this morning during the panel discussion, John Piper briefly addressed the women present with a word about the need for women who are "sages". By this he described women who walked with God, dug deep into theology, experienced the fellowship of Christ's suffering over the course of their lives as they experienced unbelieving husbands, wayward children, medical conditions, etc. and as a result have emerged into their 40s, 50s and 6os as profoundly wise women. It would be fitting for younger generations of men and women to go to these females sages and ask for their insight. Piper described women who on the exterior were gentle, loving, sweet and kind but had a rod of steel down their back -- built in there by the experience of suffering for Christ's name sake. I automatically thought of women who fit this bill -- the "sages" of my life, if you will. Perhaps you can think of them as well. (Here is a picture of
my favorite sage -- Elisabeth Elliot -- whose words have influenced and guided me more than any other woman's. I commend to you her books, especially The Path of Suffering. If you never again read a book I recommend, please read this one). Just being older does not make you a sage -- but clinging to the supremacy of Christ through all the battles that a Christian must endure, saturating yourself and your mind in the Word, will in time, make you just such a person.
I was challenged. I want to be a woman like this. I sat there, listening to Piper describing these honorable women, and feeling closer and closer to that age than ever. Thinking about all the silly things in my life that I have made more important than they are. What do those things matter -- at all -- in the light of the glorious reward awaiting us? Can I, by His unlimited grace, choose to endure suffering for His name's sake? Can I look at life with new eyes, not asking "why me?" but "Why NOT me?" when I see suffering taking place? Can I choose to take every cough, every late night with an ill family member, every rough day on the job, every misunderstanding with someone I love, every hurt, every slight, every death and disappointment, and lay them on the divine altar as a sacrifice of praise to the honor and glory of Christ? By His grace -- YES. And so can you.
Dear female reader: ask yourself what you are holding onto that keeps you from loving Christ supremely. He is Supremely Valuable. Do I see Him as such? He is Altogether Good. Do I question His goodness when I experience discomfort? Friends, though we live in a society that is always all about comfort, I know that many times your trials and pains are true and real. It is not their reality that keeps us from rejoicing in the midst of them. If the trials were all joy, no pain at all, then what would be glorious about rejoicing? No, it is in this real suffering that you will know the sweetest and closest fellowship with Christ -- the fellowship of His suffering! "Therefore, let us go to him outside the camp and bear the reproach he endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek a city that is to come."
Sister -- consider the reward! And count it all joy!
I've recently been convicted about my own materialism. It's been an ongoing mental struggle, and I decided to share it here on my blog so you can all hold me accountable. . . and maybe relate with me.
ecially dwelling on EXACTLY what kind of birthday outfit I want her to have. Wait, I shouldn't say I started dwelling on this recently, I basically found a dress I adored LAST YEAR. . . thank goodness I didn't go ahead and splurge on the $50 lovely-but-overpriced garment. I bought a adorable vintage sailor dress for $6 on consignment, and socks and shoes are covered. . . now I'm considering a new hair clip and of course the important first birthday bib! I have not spent any money yet, but I've decided I'll let myself splurge on that if I can learn to sew her a bib myself. See? Thrifty! Clearly, I'm overcoming this battle with materialism.
must work immediately to get to the heart of my materialism, and stay out of shops, and off etsy and watch less television. . .
-755674.jpg)
