Gretchen Meets Josh -- the start of our relationship

I've missed so many weeks of "My Young Adult Years" that I was linking up to on Mommy's Piggy Tales, so I decided to do 2 last posts -- one about meeting and dating my husband and another about our engagement and wedding. People want to read that stuff, right?? :)

Except for the first couple of months in college, I did not date anyone.  I went ON a few dates to required functions, and I was interested in a guy or two from time to time, but generally, I was a girls' girl.  I had a handful of guy friends, but being sort of a loud girl (in more ways than one -- all you had to do is see my colorful vintage wardrobe), I wasn't the greatest at making a good impression on many of the guys I knew.  I did go through a period of time feeling like I would never get married, and had to fight for contentment because quite a few guys were interested in my sister, or my friends. . . so I'd feel like "when will someone come along for ME?"

Gretchen Meets Josh

Second semester of my Junior year, I was signed up for a dreaded science class.  I had put off those classes so long because I was never good at science, and I was afraid of taking them.  When I walked in the door, a guy I knew said "GRINCHIN, come sit by me!"  He was a loud guy who liked to say my name wrong.  Sure, why not, I'll sit by him, I thought.  Moments before the class began, the prof came over and told him "Matty, you already took this class.  You were in it last hour.  You're not in it again!"  So all of the sudden, I was sitting alone in a class where you needed a science partner.  I saw another table with my friend Heather and this guy named Josh who dated a girl in my dorm.  "I can sit with them" I realized, and joined their table.  It only took a few minutes before I realized that this was Josh Neisler, a different Josh from the guy who had a girlfriend -- of course I didn't ever get them mixed up after that!  

Here are two things Josh told me the day we met:  "You're OLD!" he said when I said I was a senior (I was, credit-wise).  But I was 20 and he was 19!!  Not exactly old.  Also, when my long hair got caught on the bolts of my chair and a few strands ripped out, he said "sick. . . "  I sure thought he hated my long hair!  Well, no worries about having to make an impression on this guy!!  Nothing to lose!

I could tell right away that Josh was really smart, and that science was pretty easy for him.  Before our first test, I asked if he would mind helping me study, and we sat and talked in the library for quite a long time, which was great!  I liked a guy who could really talk!  Amazingly, I ended up getting a better grade on my test than he did -- probably because I was so freaked about it, and he figured he could wing it and do fine.

Our First Date

A few weeks later, our mutual friend Scott found me outside the library and asked me if I would go as friends to an event with Josh if he were to ask.  I told him I probably would.  Less than an hour later, Josh found me in the Student Center and asked me to go to the Symphony in Milwaukee.  I can remember right where I was standing, underneath the stairway across from the snackshop.  I was so flattered he was asking me to something GREAT like the Symphony, something that cost MONEY and wasn't required to attend!  When I told my mom about it, she asked me if I was excited, and I told her I bought a new dress for the date!  HAHA!  I guess so!  I still have that dress -- don't wear it, but I thought it was sort of special, so I kept it.  Black with little flowers on it, in a very popular late 90's style (I thought it looked 1940's -- whatever!).


The night of the symphony, the guys came to pick us up (we had to drive as a group to Milwaukee), and I could tell right away Josh was anxious.  We had to go back to his dorm because he'd forgotten our tickets, so he was ticked at himself.  We waited in the car for what seemed like QUITE  a long time. . . as they tore apart their room looking for the tickets.  Turns out, they were in Josh's suitcoat pocket the whole time.  So when he came back to the car, he was furious with himself. . . which translated to me that he wasn't thrilled to be with me!  We missed the opening movement, but as the music played, he relaxed a bit, and we were able to whisper a bit about the music.  I love Milwaukee symphony, and it was beautiful.  The man sitting in front of us told us we were very rude and we talked the whole time, but I am certain we didn't because Josh still was giving me (or himself?) the silent treatment for the most part.  We took a picture afterward. . . you can see his smiley face. . . We stopped for coffee on the way home, and he just drank water.  Wow.  I had been totally willing to enjoy this date, but it seemed like he was killing it in it's tracks.  

I'm so glad I made sure we took a picture!  We have it as a record!

Later that night, I talked to my friend Stephanie about it (she was back working for the school, and I worked as an RA in her dorm).  She suggested writing him a thank-you note just to let him know you had fun.  That wasn't as forward as a phone call or something, but still let him know you weren't mad or something.  She was so smart.  That started a series of note-writing back and forth between us.  AH. . . those were the days of free inter-campus mail, and it was so fun to go check your boxes between classes to see if he'd left a note!  Josh called me a few times as well, and one time, not long after our first date, he told me something I will never forget.  He told me that his roommates gave him a pretty hard time about asking me out.

"Gretchen BENZING?  Do you really think you can HANDLE her?" they had said to him.

"Wha. . what did you say?" I was afraid to ask.  I could only imagine he'd said "no" or worse, an arrogant "YES, I can handle any girl!"
  
"I said, what do you mean?  What's to handle?" he replied.  And I knew then and there that he saw me differently than other guys had seen me.  What was to handle?  She's not too much.  Not too loud.  Ohhhh. . . I think I started falling in love right then!

Other things we liked to do

Josh obviously got over the bumble on the first date, and we started hanging out a lot more, talking in the library, "studying" together, etc.  We didn't eat meals together or go to church together or sit in chapel together, though, which were the typical things dating couples in college did.  We generally took it pretty slow, and kept hanging out with our separate groups of friends -- until we really clicked with a mutual friend, Melissa Szydlowski (we called her "Sid").  She was the perfect person to hang out with both of us, because it took off a little pressure from trying to impress each other.  We mainly hung out in the Student Center and talked together. 

Josh and I would both go to the Nursing Home ministry together on Thursday nights.  It was my society's ministry (we had societies with ministry focus in college in the place of sororities and fraternities), but everyone was welcome to join.  I was so impressed with how well Josh interacted with elderly people.  I really admired how he was good with kids, too.  I had not met a whole lot of guys who was good with both ends of the spectrum.  It quickly became a requirement for my future husband.

A Dating Couple

Right before spring break, I had some doubts about a possible dating relationship with Josh.  We had had talks about moving forward, and he was planning to come home with me for Easter and talk to my dad about dating me.  But I was interpreting his easy-going laid-back nature as not being a good leader, and it scared me that I was getting in a relationship I should avoid.  I told him frankly right before we said goodbye for break that I was rethinking our relationship, and I was going to think things over while we were gone.  He looked really sad, but he just said "well, ok, let's pray together about it."  When I got home, I told my mom everything and showed him a letter he'd sent home with me.  I can't remember what the letter said, but Mom about cried and told me "I like him."  As that week went by, I had a big change of heart.  Josh was smart, and didn't call me until the end of the week, and by that time I was missing him big time.  I read a passage in Proverbs that said "With-hold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it." which convicted me that I was with-holding my affection from Josh just to protect myself.  I needed to do him good, and trust the Lord to guide my steps.

After his Easter visit, where Josh asked my dad if he could date me (Dad gave him a copy of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" in response), we considered ourselves a couple.  We felt like we had gone about things in a proper way, talking through whether or not we were pursuing marriage before we started "dating".  Josh's family came to visit us right after that, and it was fun to meet his parents and sister Melissa.  I had been SO nervous about it, but they were all normal and nice.  His parents took us to eat on State Street in Madison, and I remember we held hands in the van on the way there.  WOO WOO! (You have to understand that any physical contact AT ALL was not allowed at our school, so holding hands in front of his parents was really our only option).  

A Change in Relationship

From my college scrapbook

At the junior/senior banquet, Josh and I went together with Sid and Scott, and it was one of the most fun nights of my whole college experience.  I'd gone dress shopping with Sid for the occasion, and we found a fun 20's style swing dress for her.  I remember being so tired that night from staying up all night the night before, that I was drinking coffee at the banquet (coffee was new to me at this point).  Josh suggested adding just a tiny bit of sugar to take off the edge of the bitterness, and I told him that I would always remember him the rest of my life as I drank coffee because he was the one who taught me to like it.  He said "Maybe I'll be the one to pour your coffee for you."  I thought that was SO sweet and romantic!  You know how it is!  Saying those little things that make those big promises. . . 

The dynamic in our relationship changed dramatically when our friend Sid graduated.  Suddenly, the three of us was down to two.  We loved hanging out with Sid so much, and it took a bit of adjustment to just hang out together. We both stayed for summer school, and we started finding out how to hang out just together.  It was the start to a new chapter in our relationship . . . 

To be continued. . .

Early College Friends

At an early football game.  You can tell the one girl was not a student, as she is wearing a divided garment.

One of THE biggest highlights of college was the friends I made.  Of course, most people probably feel that way.  I absolutely LOVED the girl talk in the dorm, the borrowing clothes, the fixing each other's hair for special events.  I met so many really great girls at Maranatha Baptist Bible College.  I could NEVER mention all of the friends that meant so much to me!  Here were a few from my Freshman and Sophomore year, accompanied by more selections from my scrapbook.

At a Christmas party in Illinois with Gould 202 girls

The girls in Gould 202 became close friends the semester after Stephanie left (she was student teaching).  They were right next door, and their room was like a bunch of sisters chilling together.  Donette Winterland and I found out we were friends when I told her I liked her "Jesus Freak" t-shirt (which was SO not allowed to be listened to).  We then began a discussion about versions of the Bible.  She read the NIV, so we clicked right away. HAHA!  She invited me and her roommates to come stay at her house for a weekend in downstate Illinois, which made me feel utterly grown up.  I recall the drive home when we were belting out Alanis Morissette songs at the top of our lungs.  I was really feeling like an independent college girl then!  I have such a vivid memory of sitting down and eating nearly an entire pound bag of peanut M&Ms in room 202 the afternoon after white glove, and gossiping about who-knows-what senseless information.  I do not claim to have always used my time wisely, especially not my freshman year!

My sister Anna, Mary and me by our Christmas tree

Mary Fetters was one of Donette's roomates, and was close to me all through school.  She came home with me for Thanksgiving my Freshman year, and it was so great to share my family and world outside of college with her -- she was such a sweet and funny friend, and I just could never get enough of hanging out with her.  Mary worked hard at a home for the mentally handicapped, so her weekends were often filled up with working double shifts to pay for school, but we managed to fit in trips down to the Pinecone gas station where I used the Shell gas card my dad gave me to use to fill up, and buy us pizza and pop for supper -- and maybe one of those HUGE rice krispie treats, or apple fritters.  It was our Sunday night before church ritual.


Another 202 girl was Heather Bailey.  She had super long hair and at first I thought she was shy or something.  But she was super smart and funny, and after she got to know me, we really had a good time.  Heather and I had weird, rambling conversations while studying in the library.  It was something like streams of consciousness -- which we were really into while studying Psych together.  We had a great idea for a book of some sort which took place during World War II and contained all sorts of random things that fascinated us.  She made "boy watching" quite the fun sport for us all, and was always ready to tell stories about whomever she had currently had a crush.

Andrea tatted me that lace, and I framed it with pictures of us

I met Andrea Nash my freshman year, but I spent a lot more time with her the following year.  Andrea was so like, and so unlike me.  We had both been homeschooled, and were from Illinois, and always had classes together.  But she, unlike me, was quiet, and sweet and not considered a loudmouth or know-it-all.  I loved Andrea for how we were different, and somehow I just knew I should be MORE like her.  We always sat together in every class we shared, and tried to share a class every semester.  We also had a tradition of getting our picture taken with our professors at the end of the semester -- they probably thought we were psycho, or maybe they were just flattered that we liked their classes.  I remember one TERRIBLE day for me in school -- I was so distraught about something that I could not refrain from crying when class was about to begin.  Andrea insisted that she walk me outside, and then listened to my sobs, and then suggested that I skip class and go take a nap (I was sort of out of my mind at the moment).  I will ALWAYS remember her kindness to me, and her truly helpful friendship.  The fun thing about Andrea is that 7 years after we graduated from college, we found ourselves back together again!  Our husbands attended the same Seminary, and we are members of the same church now!  Andrea is still a dear friend, and I suspect, always will be.

Isn't it amazing how the people you meet in college influence the kind of person you are becoming?

From Pets to Post People: a Mishmash from My Youth -- Chapter 15

I thought it over and decided that I was not going to be able to wrap up college and meeting my husband all in one last post, and that I still had some things from childhood I wanted to write about, but hadn't quite fit into one year or another.  So this chapter will be about aspects of my childhood that spanned several years.


Pets

Prinny with Aunt Pat and Emily

I was not a kid that asked my parents for a puppy for Christmas.  In fact, I never really remember asking for a pet.  But when we GOT the pet, it was very exciting to me!  Our first acquisition was a kitten -- we got her when I was about 7, I believe.  We named her Peaches because she was a tabby cat with spots of peach, though people were often puzzled by her name because she didn't stay very peach.  We called her "Pish" and all manner of other silly names because we just thought she was adorable.  She slept on the end of our bed, and Anna and I took great comfort when Mom told us that she would be our little fire alarm if there were ever a fire (I was very scared of house fires).  Peachy had the habit of sleeping on a kitchen chair, and pretty frequently was disturbed from her naps by a kid pulling out the chair and nearly sitting on her.  After we moved to Green Bay, she had kittens (we got her fixed after that), much to our joy!  5 little cute kittens that we named after food:  Oreo, Fudge, Marmalade, Stroganoff, and Toast.  We gave away Marmalade and Stroganoff to our friends the Schuhs, and Oreo ran away (oh that cat had MEAN back claws).  Anna would put Fudge in a doll stroller and feed him cat food made soggy with water with a spoon.  That cat let her put doll dresses on it -- which is sort of the cat every little girl would want.  We had Toast the longest.  He lived in 3 states with us, and was in the tiny airplane when we flew from Montana to Illinois.  Sadly, Peaches ran away when we lived in Green Bay, and probably was living happily among the cows at some farm.  Anna was broken-hearted when we had to move, and Dad took her around to all the neighboring farms looking for that cat, but was unsuccessful.  My sisters got other cats later on, but those were the cats that really were part of my life.

We got a Border Collie when we moved to Green Bay, and named her Princess.  She wasn't all pampered or anything, so her name didn't actually fit super well.  We usually called her Prinny (people probably thought we were saying "pretty").  She was a very good dog, largely due to the training school my mom took her to.  She obeyed simple commands well, and never dreamed of jumping on the furniture.  When we told her "Prinny, go lay down", she'd trot away, panting happily at you, just in case you changed your mind and wanted her to come back so you could scratch her head.  She was a great dog to have in the country because she sounded the alarm if ever anyone drove down the driveway.  I'm sure she protected us more than we knew.  When I was a teenager, I enjoyed going for walks into town, and I was only allowed to go alone if I took Prinny with me.  She was a great walking buddy.  Mom walked with her for years, and I walked with her for a few years as well.  Early on, she wore her leash all the time, which we thought was normal.  Apparently most people don't leave their leash on their dog in the house.  When we had a pool in Montana, Prinny had to stay inside where she couldn't see us, because she'd freak out, thinking we were drowning.  In fact, she made her little feet pads all sore from running around and around on the cement by the pool, barking at us to get out of the water.  Poor dog had cancer while I was in college, and Mom had to take her to put her down when I was a junior.  That was the only dog I had. 

Chores
Mom was a great one for teaching her kids to work.  We always helped with stuff around the house as long as I can remember (for instance, I recall washing dishes standing on a chair).  There were several eras in which we had EXTRA work to do, when we were moving, and showing the house frequently, when Mom was pregnant, etc.  There were long stretches of time when the 3 of us older kids woke up, made our beds and tidied our own rooms, wiped down a bathroom each, vacuumed and dusted our assigned rooms (I had living room), all before breakfast.  It actually went incredibly fast because we did it every day so it never got horribly dirty.  We also had several experiences with "once a month cooking".  Mom wanted to have meals planned out for several weeks when she was pregnant, so we helped in the kitchen ALL DAY on those occasions.  That was probably when I really learned about cooking.  Before that, I learned small things, and even "made dinner" a few times, but when I think through knowing about food and ingredients, it's those "Dinner's in the Freezer" events that stand out in my memory.  It was so smart of my mom to teach us that!


When I think of chores, I cannot help but tell about "post people".  Mom had seen this idea for making little people to stand by your front door, you know, decorating the stoop, and decided for herself and the 3 of us to begin a little family business.  Mom had taken some woodworking classes and built a quilt hutch, so she was all about saws and things.  This business began when we lived in Montana, where we mainly made scarecrow post people (for fall decor).  The body of the scarecrow was made from a telephone post cut down to 3 feet or so, and his appendages, including a crow were all painted separately and attached.  Anna and I did the majority of the painting after Mom showed us what she was thinking.  Nate did a lot of the woodcutting and sanding and assembling.  Mom painted the details, like faces.  These sold incredibly well.  Think about the early '90's and the craft/country craze!  We added snowmen, Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus, Angel to our Christmas collection. . . all sold well.  We did Uncle Sams in the summer -- he was the dreaded order because you had to paint striped pants and a jacket and vest which was way more work.  I tell you I could paint a Santa beard on a telephone post in my sleep to this day.  When we lived in Illinois, we used the basement as our primary work area (the saw was in the garage, so Nate worked there).  Some days, right before big events or rushes, it felt like we stayed in the basement from morning til night. . . Anna and I got a little loopy from the paint and the hours (she was staining the bases, so I'm sure she inhaled more fumes, haha!).  I invented this idea that a creepy "Mole-man" lived in the crawl space off the basement, and lurked there watching us paint (he was very white because he did not go into the light).  Surely he was the one who left paint cans open or forgot to rinse the brushes, right?  The Mole-man legend has endured over a decade, and just so you can truly imagine him, his voice sounds like Joe Paterno (can you tell I was into college football when I invented him -- haha!).  Our business did pretty well, and we all had decent money in our savings accounts from it.  We sort of halted once Nate and I got jobs at the IGA, but the post people and the Mole-man live on.


Vintage Clothes
One really fun thing that I did as a teenager was model vintage clothing for the parks district.  We would wear these outfits owned by one of the employees and she would talk about them at lady's teas or WWII vet lunches.  Since I LOVED history, and LOVED experiencing other eras like this, it was a fantastic experience for me.  When I went through my heavier phase I was limited to wearing only certain gowns (this one green suit from the Victorian Era was one).  My friend Misty had a teeny waist and got to wear the bicycle bloomers outfit (which everyone ADORED) as well as the corset/undergarments (which everyone freaked over).  No fair!  After I slimmed down, I could then wear cuter 40's suits and things, which I loved very much.  Anna and I and quite a range of our friends all modeled together at some point, and started buying some vintage things ourselves.  Enter my love for red lipstick and nail polish and cat-eye sunglasses.  Once Susan (the lady who owned all the clothing who we volunteered for) took us on a big shopping trip to these places she knew had amazing collections of vintage clothing.  It was seriously one of the best shopping trips ever.  We tried on 50's wedding gowns, depression-era formals (almost had Mom convinced to buy it for me!), and gobs of DRESSES.  I have had many dreams about those stores in my life.  I bet the clothes didn't even cost too much, it just seemed like it to us because we were broke teenagers who shopped at Goodwill.
        
So I have REALLY enjoyed this journey with Mommy's Piggy Tales.  In fact, I just am not able to end it here.   So this 15th post, which is supposed to be the last, will be followed by at least 2 more.  If you want to continue to journey with me in my youth, feel free to check back the next couple of Thursdays, even though I won't be able to link up at MPT! *** EDIT: during the young adult memories version of Mommy's Piggy Tales, which I will be linking up to on Mondays starting Oct 11th.  I promise to tell some college stories (got out the college scrapbook. . . yesssssssss.) and the story of me and Josh. :)

Thinking I Knew What I Didn't Know, or, Being a Senior -- Chapter 14 in My Life Story

Senior Picture

I'm really having a hard time summarizing my senior year of high school.  In many ways I grew and changed a lot, and in many others, I was quite ignorant and naive of the world around me.  No large events categorized this year, so I thought I'd break it down into relationships, spiritual growth and looking to the future.


Relationships:  Steve had been my boyfriend through the first few years of high school, but we broke up the summer before our senior year.  I see, looking back, how hopelessly immature I was in how it was handled, but I'm so thankful that the Lord blessed us by enabling us to be friends again not far down the road.  I even went to his homecoming dance with him, just as friends, which sounds not possible for a couple of 17-year-olds, but actually was.  Several years later I introduced Steve to his future wife, Andrea, who was my friend in college -- I will always be thankful for how the Lord cared for my soul during that age, when it is so easy to have relationships that cause us regrets for the rest of our lives.  We did not have any regrets from our relationship, which was really just a small step up from being friends.

After that, I sort of adopted the foolish mindset that I could just look for and pursue another boyfriend if I wanted to.  In my defense, I really only considered good, godly boys, but I still somehow thought it would be my job to seek out and obtain a relationship.  My mom wisely warned me against chasing boys, and I would have done well to heed her, but instead I was pretty headstrong that I could "make the Lord's Will work out" (not that I really consciencely thought that, but that was the backbone of my mindset).  As you can imagine, nothing came out of this sort of pursuit, and I'm thankful for that.  I will certainly tell my daughter all about how not to get a boy to like you. :)

I had lots of really great girlfriends in our youth group at church, and Anna and I had lots of fun running around with them.  One really fun memory was our "college trip" where 6 of us traveled together for about a week visiting colleges.  Everyone was a senior that year except Anna, but she was allowed to come along on the trip since we thought our family would be moving again sometime that year, and she wouldn't have the chance later.  We visited a small Bible college in Tenessee, Liberty University in Virginia, and PCC in Pensacola Florida.  All those hours in the car were so fun!  Since it was only girls (besides the elderly couple that drove us -- Pastor and Mrs. Batley), we felt pretty free to spend long periods of time fixing each other's hair, putting on red lipstick and taking twelve trillion pictures.  Our chaperons had great patience.  My friend Misty's mom and little sister Shea came with us as well, and I will never forget how good Shea was on that trip.  She was just a little kid, but she quietly sat by and listened to us, and then was thrilled when we included her in our merriment.


Spiritual Growth:  I have mentioned how blessed I was to be under good teaching at our church in Illinois.  I was really shepherded by the preaching I heard from Pastor Joe.  In addition to youth group, the senior high had a Bible study on Thursday nights with a single guy who became a great friend to me (and many of my friends as well), Kirby Meyers.  He was one of the most influential people in my life, aside from my husband and parents.  Kirby was young and funny, but also took the Scripture seriously, and taught us to study through books of the Bible, and apply it to our lives.  He helped me think through some real questions about what the Bible teaches, and helped me to see a bigger picture of who God is, and how my faith needed to be based on Scripture.  I am so thankful for how he invested in me.  Not long after I went to college, Kirby and his wife (he got married right after I graduated) moved to California where Kirb went to Master's Seminary.  He is now a pastor near Indianapolis, and Josh and I see him from time to time.

Looking to the Future:  I think I was always a kid who thought growing up was exciting.  I always looked forward to the next step.  In those days, I rarely had a glimmer of nostalgia, looking back, but pretty much was just excited to look forward.  Graduating from High School and preparing to go to college was no exception.  As I mentioned, my family anticipated moving back to Wisconsin for my dad's job, so my mom encouraged me to apply to Maranatha Baptist Bible College, which would have just been a little over an hour from Kenosha, where we'd be living.  For a variety of reasons, that move never materialized, but I chose to go to school there anyway.  I visited the college with my friend Melanie and her family, and knew right away it was the school for me.  When my graduation came, I invited all my co-workers to come to the ceremony, and my party, in hopes of sharing the gospel with them.  I remember I gave a really nice present to one of my co-workers who also graduated the same year, an engraved pen with her name on it.  I wrote a card with a heartfelt challenge to her to consider her sin, and need for Christ's forgiveness.  I can honestly say that as much as I didn't know, and as sure I was that I DID already know it, I truly knew how much I wanted to live my life for Jesus Christ and be used by him.

One final note:  that summer my friend Misty and I attended camp together in hopes of earning college scholarships from the camp.  Kirby wrote recommendations for us to win them, and the letter he wrote for me was so kind it nearly broke my heart.  Here was this person I looked up to so much describing me in more glowing terms than I could ever deserve.  I only mention it here as a reminder that our affirming words have a lasting impact beyond what we could possibly know.  I didn't win a scholarship, though Misty did, but I was still blessed to have that experience of Kirby's words of encouragement.


Linking up to Mommy's Piggy Tales -- only one chapter to go!

Sweet 16 -- Chapter 13 in My Life Story

Some of the girl cousins on the Benzing's side at a family reunion

Armed with a driver's license, I could now drive my parent's black suburban packed full of girls to area sporting events.  That summer I took us to the Danville Dans games (college summer league team in town) at historic Danville stadium.  We loved eating nachos with jalepenos and having crushes on the ballplayers (though, since I was usually the oldest, it wasn't like we had the guts to TALK to them).  In the fall, we'd go to football games.  I was still "with" Steve, who now went to public school, and we usually brought a significant cheering section to his football games whenever possible.  We'd also try to go to our friend Scott's games in Georgetown -- he was the president of our youth group and a good friend of Nate's.  There were JV games on Tuesdays, and Varsity games on Friday, so even if I had to work, we could usually swing a game just about every week or more.

Speaking of work -- Nate and I started working at the Georgetown IGA in the fall of 1994.  My dad worked in the grocery business and suggested that we interview there.  I remember being so nervous at the interview, and stating firmly that we could not work on Wednesday nights or Sundays because of church.  Of course we were hired anyway!  Nate worked as a stock boy with a tie, collared shirt and apron, and I worked at the check out in my smock.  We usually were scheduled on the same days, which was convenient for riding together.  Nathan would drive on those country roads so fast, flying around the curves, but I was not scared of his driving!  I just didn't want to be late!  We worked hard, and had our share of interesting co-workers.  It was my first introduction to the REAL world.  Pretty sure one of the "nicer" kids I worked with was on meth.  He was always looking through the health and beauty section, and buying innocent looking stuff.  I totally didn't know about meth back then.  The girls I worked with would invite me to go drinking or cruising or whatever with them.  I never did, of course, but I tried to walk the line to keeping them liking me by not refusing to sell them lottery tickets or cigarettes (this was before the big laws about carding).  I was promoted to the office not long after I worked the register, so a couple times a week I was in charge of the little office there -- counting down the drawers, making up the deposits, and stowing everything in the safe.  One interesting aspect of the office was doing the lottery.  I could NOT believe how many poor people came every week to buy their lotto with their lucky numbers.  I also sold the scratch-offs through the window (thus me not being able to refuse to sell them to my 16-year-old coworkers).  I got in debates with this one interesting customer who was a teacher at the junior high (I think -- he was super interesting) that made me interested in apologetics, and tried to witness to the girls I worked with (oh, did I ever lack boldness!!).  Even though our 7 hour shifts with a 15 min break got tiring, I really liked working there.  I always felt like I did a good job, and liked greeting customers and packing paper grocery bags with precision (I was a great bagger -- comes from upbringing).  

Our homeschool group offered a Spanish class that year for highschoolers.  My friend Jamie's mom was the teacher, since she was fluent.  It was a great situation for those of us whose moms were not able to teach languages.  I LOVED my class.  It was really my first schooling situation, and I was determined to earn only A's (my mom rarely gave us grades).  My Spanish name was Gabriela, which I thought was very pretty.  We met together as a class twice a week, on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  Often we'd have friends spend the night Wednesday night after church, do our schoolwork together Thursday morning, and then ride with us to class.  That was especially nice for our friends who didn't have their driver's license yet, because then their moms didn't have to drive them to church for class.  I LOVED those Thursdays!  For a while, my friend Kristie took driver's ed at the same high school my "boyfriend" Steve went to, and sometimes I'd take her to her class and do my math in the car while I waited for her.  We were SO small town -- Steve would sometimes come outside and say hi to us at the car.  Kristie and her sister would do their Spanish homework with Anna and me, and it was like "going to school" to do that together.  I have such distinct memories of us all sitting on the floor in Anna's comfy bedroom with our A Beka Spanish books out. 

While living in Illinois, my family enjoyed attending University of Illinois sporting events.  We had season tickets for basketball, football and volleyball, and I loved getting to go to those games.  My dad asked each of us older kids what sporting event we would choose to go to if we could pick.  I loved baseball most of all, but knowing that the World Series isn't won in a night, I didn't want to risk picking that, so I picked the Super Bowl.  There was no real time guarantee, but I figured my dad would get tickets pretty quickly and I was right!  Super Bowl XXIX was at Joe Robbie Stadium in Miami, Florida -- so I got to go to Miami in January!  I was stoked, and planning accordingly, used sunless tanner on my legs.  We left after Spanish class on a Thursday, and drove to Saint Louis (we were flying out of the airport the next morning).  Even though we'd stopped for dinner, we felt kind of hungry when we got to our hotel that night, so we ordered a pizza and wings (told you my appetite used to be big!).  That was the first time in my life I ever had heartburn -- eating wings before bed, haha! (Is this TMI?  Sorry, I remember lots of specifics).  I remember I tried to dress nicely for our flight, so I wore khakis and a polo shirt (planning on it being hot there).  Dad picked a convertible for our rental car, so we got in the sun right away! We ended up switching hotels several times to find something quite nice enough, but we ended up in a great one packed with other people headed to the big game.  There was lots to do at the stadium during the days leading up to game, so we went there -- and the beach, of course!  It was really fun eating out and driving around in our convertible.  The day of the Super Bowl, kickoff was scheduled at 6:00pm, and the gates opened at 11:00am.  We arrived at 9:00.  My dad usually operates in "hurry up and wait" mode.  It was fine with me.  We got in line to enter the stadium, and got to our seats while it was still REALLY empty.  Watching all the set up and people was almost as good as the game -- it was a big blow out: 49ers over the Chargers.  In fact, at the end of the 3rd quarter, dad suggested leaving early, beating the traffic and going to eat somewhere good.  As we left we said "you know we can't tell anyone we did this!  Leaving the Super Bowl early!"  HAHA!  I was dreaming of quesadillas, so I was perfectly happy to go out to eat.  That trip was so fun!  I remember calling my friends from the Super Bowl on my dad's cell phone (he was cutting edge then) and trying not to brag, but still be excited.

Me with my siblings and cousins at Easter 1995

My brother graduated from High School in 1995.  It was the first year there was a group of homeschoolers who wanted to have a graduation together, so my mom organized the first graduation ceremony for that homeschool group (and amazingly -- the traditions they started that year pretty much carry on EXACTLY the same today).  The kindergarten class wore white little caps and gowns and performed one thing they learned that year in homeschool -- my sister Emily was in the kindergarten graduating class.  The 8th graders wore formals and had their parents read something about them, praising them for their accomplishments and character.  The seniors each made speeches and then took flowers to their mothers as a thank-you (this year my sister Abby took each of her older sisters a rose since my mother was not there at her graduation).  Our Spanish class sang some songs and read scripture passages in Spanish.  I loved Nathan's graduation -- we had a huge party at our house and it was so fun!  I had no idea how quickly our family would change, since he was already dating his future wife, Janet (Nate would sit on the roof of our house, with a large photo of Janet, listening to classical music, and doing his schoolwork) .  It's amazing to think about when I look back.


I'm linking up to Mommy's Piggy Tales!

Makeup and Growing Up -- Chapter 12 in My Life Story

Gretchen age 15

Anna and I were promised the privilege of getting to wear makeup when we turned 15.  Lip gloss and even lighter lipsticks did not count in my mom's book, and we'd been allowed to don those since junior high.  Sure enough, on my 15th birthday, my mom gave me a makeup bag with eyeshadow and mascara in it!  I didn't really know how to do my eyes very well, but I still liked the grown up feeling it brought.  Ironically, my mom gave me a Mary Kay compact with eyeshadows and blush in it a couple of years ago for my 30th birthday.  It was the last birthday I celebrated with her, and it's funny to think that my gift was similar to the one I'd been given 15 years earlier.  Then, makeup was the opportunity to look pretty and grown up!  Now, makeup is pretty much a special occasion thing for me. Except lipstick.  I always need that.

Enjoying a salad from Burger King.  Oh yeah.

When thinking of my 15th year, I recall how my body suddenly caught up with itself.  Gone were the days of swimming, skiing and playing sports, and here were the days of learning to cook and eat. . and eat. . . I wasn't fat, but I certainly started gaining some weight.  All of the sudden I could buy clothes from the misses department. . . in the middle range sizes where there was lots of selection.  I felt somehow less like myself -- I think because I'd always been so skinny, and it was strange to look in the mirror and see a rounder face.  I did love to eat, though!  I didn't think it was worth cutting back some, so I just tried to forget about it.  I'd go through short periods of time where I thought I'd give it a try, and I'd eat salad at a fast food restaurant or not eat sweets or something.  But I never really saw a difference on the scale, and I wrote myself off as someone who had no willpower.  Even though I was possibly somewhat unhealthy, I'm still thankful that I didn't torture myself with body image issues that did plague me down the road.  It wasn't by any maturity of my own, but probably more due to having lots of good friends who didn't talk about diets or weight or anything silly like that.  I'm sure it was from their example of just being who they were that helped me not worry too much.

My mom and sisters at the Children's museum

My friend Misty emerged as a major player in my life around this time.  I remember at one point she told me that all the boys liked me because I was new.  This statement cracks me up now!  I knew it was totally untrue, both the fact that all the boys liked me (only one did -- the rest proved they didn't by helping my brother fart on our heads and other such lovely things), and also the fact that I was just liked because I was new.  I didn't see myself as new at all anymore, and after several months of writing notes back and forth with Steve, I knew he didn't like me just because I was new.  I totally challenged Misty's statement, and I think we started getting along really well shortly thereafter partly because we were both pretty bold figures, and also because we just spent more time in proximity to one another.  Our little sisters were friends, and I could count on Misty coming along to hang out if Shea came over to play with Emily.  Our homeschool group at that time was woefully small, and Misty and one other girl, Brooke, were the only older girls in it from our church.  Clearly, that did not provide enough girls for a basketball team, but we definitely had fun herding our little sisters around the Indianapolis Children's Museum together.  

Misty was a unique teenage girl in a myriad of ways.  Her mother bought most of her clothes at rummage sales and Goodwill, but she always styled those ensembles willingly, and with an air of confidence.  She would say about herself "I look good in hats" and wore hats a lot.  That kind of confidence was unheard of at my age.  Misty did not mean it pridefully -- she had just been told she looked good in hats a lot, and so she knew it!  She was also good at speaking, and when she met adults, she looked them in the eye and shook their hand.  Her family was originally from Texas, so she was always saying "sir" and "ma'm" and always called all adults "Mr.or Mrs. so-and-so" even if they told us to call them by their first name.  She was a good girl to have around as a friend.  She didn't take writhe and quake about boys or what people thought of her.  I'm glad she was my friend and rubbed off on me somewhat!  

Near the end of my 15th year, my dad enrolled me in a driving school so I could take driver's ed.  Since I was homeschooled, and it was summer, this was the only way it would work for me to be able to finish before I turned 16 (the obvious goal = getting the license ON 16th birthday).  Pretty much everyone else at that driving school were high school drop outs or kids that had lost their licenses or something.  I was this little green Christian homeschooler who knew nothing about the world, and could only begin to guess what the crass things on their t-shirts meant.  In effort to show my faith, I wore all my best Christian t-shirts.  I say that tongue in cheek now, but at the time, I sincerely wanted those kids to believe in Jesus, and I figured this would be a good way to start.  Pretty sure those kids thought I was a loser!  I totally had a crush on the teacher -- his name was Mark Bertram (I only remember his name because I wrote a character into one of my stories after him), and he wore wire-rimmed glasses.  Our driving instructor was this older man who had me and the other girl in my car drive to impound lots and junkyards where he would show us cars that had been destroyed by drunk drivers.  He repeated over and over "young ladies, you never ever get in the car with a young man who has had too much to drink."  We also had to drive to Amish country.  Lucky for us, we didn't actually see any buggies on the road. 

And so ends my 16th year!  Linking up to Mommy's Piggy Tales.

Major Change at 14 Part B

So in part 1, I left off with my family getting settled in rural Illinois after our big move from Montana, living a rather quiet life.  My brother had been our main set of wheels before we moved, but alas, here we were in a state that required you to be 16 to drive, so after 5 months of him getting us around, we had to either walk or have Mom drive us places.  One time we walked from our house into the tiny nearby town for our piano lesson.  It was just a little over a mile, so not bad at all, but we certainly didn't enjoy having to walk!

We visited a larger church in Danville, Illinois -- Calvary Baptist.  I remember so clearly that Sunday that my brother wore a suit and his cowboy boots (this was NORMAL attire where we came from), and they were certainly the source of some attention.  Right away, I had high hopes for our joining this church.  It had a large youth group, and several of the kids were homeschooled (a small number in comparison to Montana, but nonetheless, it was a bonus).  People sat by us that first in Sunday school, and even though we didn't know the songs they sang or the motions that went along with them, there was a friendly, genuine vibe that I really appreciated.  What a blessing this church turned out to be.  We found a home there with those people, and instead of our homeschool group, our youth group soon became the center of our social world.  

At this point in my life, the Lord really gave me the grace to learn and know Him more dearly.  The preaching I was sitting under at the church was opening up my mind and heart to understand God and his Word.  Pastor Joe was just full of grace and focused so directly on Scripture.  I am so thankful to this day for the teaching I received there.  This was just the very beginning of it, but praise the Lord he worked in my heart at this time.

The youth group had lots of great activities -- many based on serving the members of the church.  Our first activity was yard work for some of the widows and senior members.  I looked so forward to coming to youth group on Wednesday nights.  During the holiday season we spent several weeks baking cookies to take with us when we went Christmas caroling to the shut ins.  One night during the baking time, I took note of a girl who is still one of my dearest and best friends, and watching her scoop that cookie dough and manage the kitchen, I conscientiously thought "Misty is a gem".  It would be several years before we really gelled, but my first impression turned out to be right.  

It was at this point that I entered my "Janette Oke" phase.  The church library was teeming with her titles, and lots of the girls liked to read them, so of course I sucked them up.  They fed my growing appetite for romance. . . what young teenage girl isn't rather obsessed with romance?  I was living in my own world much of the time, writing stories, and working in the kitchen like a fiend (Mom probably appreciated it) because those pioneer-era girls were always cooking and things in the stories.  I was constantly daydreaming.  It was actually probably a bit unhealthy, and I recall Mom telling me that I needed to join the family sometimes because I was frequently off on my own so I could write and daydream.  She was right.  I wrote this series of stories set right before the turn of the century about a girl name Chassie who worked a nanny for a widowed young rich man named Weston (you'll never believe it but they fell in love).  Over time, I added on to the series by writing about Chassie's daughter Becca who was brilliant and went to Harvard and married a baseball player who she thought died in the Spanish-American War, but ended up playing for the Red Sox in the first ever World Series.


At some point in January, I could tell my brother's friend Steve kind of liked me, and we started writing notes to each other all the time.  We were way too shy to talk in person, though.  We probably said 2 or 3 sentences in the course of several months!  I think we possibly said who we thought would win the Super Bowl and that was about it.  Seems strange for a romantic 14 year old, but looking back, I'm pretty happy that we were so reserved.  In May, Steve called my dad and asked him if he could sit with me at the teen formal the youth group was having.  I was super impressed that he asked my dad and was given permission.  Mom made dresses for Anna and me to wear, according to our choosing.  These dresses are still hanging in a closet at my parents house, and have come in handy for costumes for my little sisters along the way.


As summer came, and my 14th year wound down, I got to be a part of one of the most exciting things in my life: a musical.  I had always longed to be on stage, and our youth group was putting on a performance of  the "Let's Go to the Rock" which was a 1950's Christian musical with lots of morals.  We performed it at this restaurant in downtown Danville and it was one of the most fun things in my life.  I played the daughter of the main character, which meant I had lots of lines and even a song where the guy who played my brother and I  did a "rap" about how our parents didn't understand us!  Classic.  For my costume I wore clothes from my parent's closets, including my dad's letter jacket.  I LOVED acting.  Loved it.  Wanted nothing more than to do another show and another and another.  I'm so thankful that the Lord has channeled my desire for drama to using it as a gift to enhance my teaching when I work with kids!  In college, a drama teacher once referred to me as someone who had "abandon" to her drama class -- and I wasn't even in the class!


So here ends my 14th year.  At the same time as the musical, Molly and Jessie, our besties from Montana, flew out to stay with us for a week or so.  And we had a grand time with them -- but truly my life was miles away from where it had been the year before.


Linking up to Mommy's Piggy Tales!

Major Change at 14 -- Chapter 11 in the Story of My Life Part A

Besides my infant and toddler years, I think the age of 14 held more changes for me than any other.  The world I lived in and knew at the beginning of that year was a lifetime away from the one I knew at the end.

When I celebrated my 14th birthday just over a week after the birth of my sister Abby, I got a special birthday present: contact lenses!  Enter me into a whole new world, appearance-wise.  Combine with that running for track and basketball, and all the other physical activities I enjoyed, and here I was starting to fill out and build a bit of muscle, and not look quite so scrawny as I did in junior high.  I grew quite a bit.  That summer of 1992 were the Summer Olympics in Barcelona Spain, and my friends and I were all about "The Dream Team" -- America's amazing basketball team comprised of professional players for the first time.  In honor of the Olympics, there was this Michael Jordan sandwich at McDonald's that I would order and eat the WHOLE thing with fries -- it was THREE burgers with bacon, cheese and bbq sauce.  Looking back that cracks me up, since I've now been a vegetarian for the past 12 years!  I was really in a growth spurt then!

With growing like this, I started making guy friends and realizing that guys were noticing me.  No boyfriends or anything like that, but it was nice to sort of be on a less intimidated level with my brother's friends, and their kid brothers. It was like the light came on -- just be friendly and most likely they will be nice back.  In Montana, we had girl's basketball in the fall instead of during the winter with the guys, so as the summer came to an end, we started practicing with our team.  We all named ourselves after favorite players on the Dream Team, and I picked David Robinson -- not because I was especially tall, but because he was my fave and a Christian.  Anna picked Charles Barkley because she thought he was funny because he would have a bad attitude and stuff!  We had a great time being on that team, and getting our new uniforms (I was #32).  We were not good, though.  Seriously NOT good.  Our first game we lost 59-ZERO.  Yep.  Some cruel team thought they would just shut us out!  I was on the starting lineup, and I only made one shot the whole season, if that tells you anything. In my defense, I only played for part of the season, because. . .

Dum dum DUM!!!

. . . we moved across the country again, this time to central Illinois.  Once again, I did NOT want to move, only much much more so this time. In Montana, we had such a great community of friends that were homeschooled with us, and Nathan and Anna and I enjoyed our team sports and other recreational activities.  Nathan was able to get his driver's license at age15 in Montana, so we were already enjoying a relative level of freedom and independence like older teenagers (I'm sure it made it easier for my mom not to have to drive us to practices with a newborn baby and 3 year old at home!).  Being a little older at this move, I was WAY more emotionally attached to the places and friends I had in Montana.  The only bright spot I could see was that there were no rattlesnakes where we were moving, and we would now only be a few hours from Cincinnati where our grandparents and other relatives lived.

For a few weeks before moving, we once again stayed at that same lovely hotel with the waterfall swimming pool.  It was like a little vacation at the end of our time there, because our friends came over all the time to swim and hang out with us.  A whole bunch of friends came to a going away party for us at our tiny church in Billings, and then stayed for the church service that night.  We were having special meetings that week, and the speaker did this thing where he would pick 2 members of the congregation each night and have a contest to see how many people they could bring the next night.  Then he'd ask them to "stand up" for the person they'd been invited by.  Well, wouldn't you know that that final night, I was one of the contestants, and here were all my friends, and my siblings' friends gathered there with us.  I had a huge group stand for me, and I remember being overwhelmed with happiness as I walked up to get my prize.  I thought I could never be so happy as I was right then, and I'd never ever forget it.

The very next day was moving day.  We were scheduled to fly out on a tiny plane that would hold just our family, however, Anna and I had a basketball game that same day.  We begged our parents to let us play our last game, even just to half time and they agreed.  At the game, we begged to stay through the 3rd quarter, and since time allowed it, we could.  Finally it was for sure time to go, and all around we were being hugged and sobbed on by bawling faces.  I remember hugging everyone and loving everyone fiercely, and feeling like my soul was ripping apart to walk away from them! It seemed to be the most emotional goodbye imaginable.

When we arrived at the airport in our sweaty uniforms, it was surreal to change into regular clothes and get on the plane.  It seemed like there could be no reality apart from the one we had just left.  And that plane was so strange and tiny!  Our cat and dog rode in the cabin with us in their kennels, and my seat was on top of the little refrigerator, so I was in charge of getting out drinks for everyone.  My dad told me to offer some to the pilots, and since they were just inches away from me, with only a curtain between us, I did so.  I felt so strange looking into the tiny cockpit!  The 3 of us older kids were pretty miserable during that flight to Champaign, Illinois.

I had a list of all my friend's addresses, and when we settled at the hotel, I began to write them letters.  I decided to write every single person once, and then continue writing based on whether or not they wrote me back (side note:  I chose to write them on brownish recycled paper and envelopes, which was a sort of new thing then.  I liked how it looked all earthy and natural).  I got lots of letters back.  Our hotel in Champaign was rather weird and it had this huge parrot that talked in the breakfast area.  But the room was large with an upstairs, which made sense for our family.  We were bunking there waiting for our stuff. . . once again.  I guess that is how it works when you hire moving companies.

We were excited to move into our big old house in the country.  It had 5 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms and a gameroom with a pinball machine in it!  The day our movers came to move us in was a real treat.  One of them was named Lonny and had a long mullet and was REALLY funny.  Anna and I agreed that he looked just like Billy Ray Cyrus, who was extremely famous at the time.  We thought that possibly it WAS Billy Ray incognito working as our mover.  Our suspicions were further confirmed when Lonny sang "Achy Breaky Heart" and told us he loved that song!  I accompanied my mom down to a convenience store in a nearby small town-- bigger than our VERY small town -- because there were no fast food restaurants, and we wanted to provide lunch for the movers.  It seemed so very small town-ish picking up white bread and lunchmeat, including pickleloaf.  To this day, when I see pickleloaf at the store, I think of the day we moved into that house!

Me, my cousins Steve and Josh and sister Anna, 1992

At first our life was very quiet and solitary.  I wrote stacks of letters to my Montana friends, and received stacks back.  It seemed like it would be forever before we'd make friends. We visited churches in Champaign, but couldn't find a fit. I disliked visiting new churches, but as we slunk into Sunday School or Youth Group, at least I had my brother and sister to sit with.   I remember to this day what my mom told us during that move -- that we would always have our siblings as friends, and no matter where we moved, we were going together, so we'd have friends we could count on and we should treat each other well as friends.  So wise and good for our ears to hear!

I'll write part B later -- about the changes that came in our life in Illinois!  I'm linking up to Mommy's Piggy Tales, as with all stories of my youth.  I'm sorry for the lack of pictures this time -- I know I took many in that era with on fantastic 110 film, but all those pictures are packed away who knows where in the house in Illinois.  The one above is the only thing I could find.

What I Longed for at Age 13 -- Chapter 10 in My Life Story

Gretchen on her 13th birthday before a family dinner out

July 26th, 1991 was circled and circled about a thousand times on my calendar.  I added stars, balloons, hearts and stickers to the small square.  It was the day I would become a teenager!  Yes, I looked forward to my thirteenth birthday as if I expected to step into a new colorful world like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz does when she leaves her black and white world and steps into the brilliant land of Oz.  Perhaps the city of Billings would send fireworks into the sky announcing "Gretchen is Thirteen" on that fine night.

Opening gifts on my 13th birthday

Well, my birthday actually came and went a bit more quietly, believe it or not.  My Grandma and Grandpa Benzing and cousin Aaron were out visiting us, and we spent the day driving to and touring Cody, Wyoming.  By this time, touring the surrounding sites was a pretty typical part of life, and we all were used to the very long drives. I remember Aaron and Nathan rode in the far back of our Suburban -- behind the 3rd row of seats, because we were packed so full.  We didn't mind.  We ate out to celebrate my birthday at a steakhouse we all loved called JR's.  I remember eating outside on the beautiful covered patio there -- not something you can do just anywhere in July!  My Grandma gave me a bracelet, and it was either silver or gold (I can't remember), but I do remember being really excited that it was real.   

By the pool in my swim suit -- this pose cracks me up

Another exciting part about "growing up" for me was that my mother let me start shaving my legs!  I had been looking forward to that for some time, especially since the majority of my friends (most of whom were already teenagers) were shaving theirs.  It was the sort of thing that would be at the forefront of your mind when you had a swimming pool and all the older girls who had crushes on your brother were constantly inviting themselves over to swim.  If I had read Pride and Prejudice at that time, I would have felt like Miss Darcy, who was "doted" upon by the Bingly sisters in order to gain her brother's attention.  Of course, I did not fall for it, like Miss Darcy did. . . I could see what those girls were up to, and felt pretty slighted by it!  I felt rather like a child because I was a skinny-scrawny 13 year old who had in no way begun to fill out.  Those hot '90's fashions just didn't do much justice to the non-curvy figure!


I waited all summer to begin my stint as a junior volunteer at St.Vincent's Hospital.  All of my homeschool friends as well as me and my brother signed up for this program to become "Candy Stripers", but I couldn't start at the beginning of the summer because I was not yet 13.  A couple days after my birthday, however, my mom dropped me off at the big front entrance of that hospital and wept as I walked in wearing my red and white striped jumper, french braid and sporting white tennis shoes with my freshly shaven legs.  She told me later that seeing me there brought back memories of my difficulties at the start of my life and she couldn't help but cry to see me so grown up.  

Me and Jennie working at the Cheri Nook Snack Bar

I was able to continue volunteering once a week, even after school started because I was homeschooled.  Several other homeschool friends and myself worked in the "Cheri Nook Snack Bar" for about 4 hours every Friday.  The other volunteers at the hospital during the school year were elderly, and I enjoyed making friends with Candy -- an elderly gentleman who always manned the soup station at the snack bar.  I liked to do the sandwiches, so we made a good team.  Lots of the older volunteers would come in and order funny sandwiches like braunschweiger with sweet pickles and "Arnold Palmers" to drink.  My outgoing personality fit this job well, and I often took extra shifts for people when they asked me to fill in for them.  I worked in the snack bar the whole school year, and then when the next summer came, I was first in line to choose a new volunteer area.  I immediately chose the Maternity Ward -- the most coveted volunteer spot where newbies usually weren't able to work.  Who didn't want to take gifts and flowers to new mamas, hold and rock babies in the nursery, and fill up water pitchers with ice water?


But before that opportunity came along, my brother and I made a sneaky discovery.  We had a hunch my mother was expecting another baby.  Sometime that late fall we found her vitamins in the cupboard and once Nate spotted her looking at her profile in the mirror (such small things to go on, it's true!  But we were just positive we were right).  Oddly enough, for a 14 and 13 year old, we decided we were quite worried for our older mother.  She was over 44, and we already had a baby sister!  Why exactly did she feel the need to have another at this age?  We were being overly dramatic, but at the time, we shared our secret and our worries only with each other.  Sure enough, mom made the big announcement, but unlike the time she told us about Emily coming, our response did not equal that level of jubilee.  Anna was excited, but Nathan and I had already been harboring our fears about Mom's health (so silly!  She was entirely healthy), so we couldn't quite get enthusiastic about the news.

8th grade picture, growing out the bangs

Looking back, I see that my main hang up was my own self-centeredness.  I was all about my life, and being obsessed with boys (I wrote often in my journal how much I wanted a boyfriend), homeschool activities, and just looking and being cool.  It was not the same rebellious selfishness that I embraced at eleven, it was just foolishness, and immaturity that is so common to age thirteen.  My new huge hoop earrings and LA Gear matching jeans and jacket with the pink and white twisted shoestrings on them were just so much more important to me than another addition to our family, as terrible as that sounds.


It would be way way too long to list all the fun homeschool activities of my 7th grade year (in Montana where there were so very many homeschoolers, we saw friends nearly every day at sports practices, skiing, ice skating, roller skating, and bowling outings, as well as field trips, and our "student government" organization "THWAP"), but I must mention a couple.  One really exciting Christmas activity was being in the Billings Christmas parade.  Our THWAP group-- Teen Homeschoolers With A Purpose-- built the float, showing an old-fashioned cowboy Christmas on one side, and a modern day cowboy family on the other.  We all worked together building the float, and then were allowed to walk in the parade.  I chose to be on the old-fashioned side, and my mom had me made a pioneer dress and bonnet for the occasion.  It was below zero during the parade, so I had to wear snowpants and earmuffs underneath the costume, and our smiles about froze on our faces.  But cancel?  Never!  The streets of Billings were teeming with viewers, despite the cold.  I remember my hands were so swollen afterward from the tight layers of shirts and tight wrists of my costume dress.


After Christmas, our homeschool organization went skiing together every Thursday.  We did extra schoolwork in advance to make up for those ski days, and enjoyed a full, long day of driving to Red Lodge to ski.  I loved it -- the lifts, the wind blowing in my face, eating lunch together in the lodge -- but my inferiority complex sometimes got the better of me, robbing me of that joy.  I was not the brave skier that many of my friends were, and no matter how much I wanted to go along, I just couldn't get the courage to attempt the black diamond runs.  I also could tell that the girls who wore the skin-tight ski pants were getting an awful lot of attention from our guy friends, and I felt like a kid in my poofy snowpants.  My mother did not approve of the shiny show-off-your-rear-end type pants, and would not buy them for us (looking back, I'm so thankful for her discretion).  She let Anna and I wear long johns under our jeans and ski in those, however, and we were happy with that.  Because, as everyone knows, looking cool while skiing makes or breaks the fun.


We all 3 ran track that spring, on the homeschool team.  My dad would take us to track practice in the early morning while it was still dark, so we could use the public school track before school began.  I was on the JV team because I was technically still in 7th grade, but I ended up being pretty good, and would fill in on the varsity relay teams.  My friend Jessie was the best sprinter, and it was fun to be one of the best together with her!  We might not have been the "hottest" girls, but we excelled on the track team.  I remember the feeling in the pit of my stomach the morning of our first meet, and I prayed, as I walked across the green field that I would win just one ribbon -- any color, it didn't matter, but just win something.  I ended up winning several blues and reds!  I remember celebrating with our homeschool team and my dad making up a cheer that we all shouted with vigor.  I was on CLOUD NINE!!  Running was so fun.  We traveled to Great Falls, and Bozeman for track meets, where I won more ribbons, but the best meet of all was the state meet right there in Billings.  Our 4x100 relay teams (JV and Varsity) were pretty good, but we couldn't top Billings Christian School, until that meet.  I remember crystal clearly running my leg of the relay -- rounding the corner, and passing every other runner except the BCS girl.  I slapped the baton into Jessie's hand, and pantingly followed her down the final stretch.  I could see our parents cheering wildly in the stands -- we'd won first place!!  Jessie had leaned into the ribbon, besting the BCS runner, and beating them in the state competition!  Though it would be hard to top that moment, when our JV team ran, we easily won first, and discovered afterward that we had beat the junior high state record!  Once again, I was on cloud nine.  Even falling flat on my face during the finals in the 100 could not take away my excitement (I truly did do that.  My legs just could keep up with how hard I was trying to go, and I WIPED OUT.  We have it on video, and it is pretty funny to watch).


Homeschoolers from all over the state came together on several occasions that year.  One was for our state convention, and we got to stay together in the lovely hotel we'd stayed in when we moved to Billings.  For days, we were surrounded with homeschool peers, and could not have had more fun hanging out.  There was a dinner with a talent show for the teens, and Anna and I were part of a mime to the song "We are His Hands", which we performed for the 100 or so teenagers there.  Later that spring was our spring formal!  It was common there to rent formal dresses, so we all chose dresses from the same shop so we wouldn't overlap.  There were only a few dresses that came in a small enough size for me, but I loved the royal blue one I chose.  Mom bought me a flower comb to wear in my hair, and my dad gave me a wrist corsage to wear.  I remember getting ready for the formal was entirely more fun than the activity itself, and to this day, I pretty much feel the same way about formal occasions.

Holding my newborn sister Abby

Well, the conclusion to this long chapter must now come -- with the birth of my littlest sister.  Mom was induced on Friday, July 17th -- which happened to be the same day I was scheduled to work in the maternity ward.  I could walk into labor and delivery to visit my mom in between my responsibilities, and I recall holding her hand during difficult contractions.  Her tight grip scared me!  By that afternoon, not long after I finished my shift, my sister was born, Abigail Katherine.  It was just a few days before my 14th birthday, and just a month after my mom's 45th birthday.  Here she was, another addition to our family.  I am ashamed to recall that I was not as excited about Abby as I should have been.  Emily was so cute and so fun, I didn't feel like I needed another sister!  In the years that followed, however, my eyes were opened to see how precious it was for my parents to have another baby in the house.  Poor Mom had to endure the "Sarah and Isaac" jokes, but bore it well, looking a full ten years younger than most of her peers -- radiating with youth and mothering her new baby.  

I'm linking up to Mommy's Piggy Tales where we're writing our stories in 15 chapters.  Note:  I'm going back through some of my posts and adding more pictures, since I got a few pics over the weekend.  You can click the "Life Story" label below to read them all.