I'm Trading My Sorrow

Let's get real here: how many of us feel depressed sometimes? I so often put on a mask of cheerfulness while inside I am drowning in self-pity, envy and depression. I want to shriek at my circumstances and make them change. I am jealous of women who have what I want -- children, freedom to stay at home, an enjoyable job or money.

This has been me for the past few days. I had a meltdown last night, wishing I could make someone understand (how silly, right? But I'd wager you've been there, too). I cried and prayed and used the muscles of my mind to make me recall the things I am thankful for. The sorrow may last for the night, but joy comes with the morning! When I woke up, and throughout this day, several things dawned on me:

1. My time is not my own -- it is God's. I practically heard the Holy Spirit tell me that I was being selfish about my time. I am where He wants me. It is not my time that I feel like I'm wasting, it's God's. Have I been redeeming the time? C.J. Mahaney recommends that we talk to ourselves when we wake up in the morning, rather than let our minds whirl and think on random things which may discourage or embitter us. I brushed my teeth thinking about my day being God's time.

2. When I am "struggling" with something, that is sin. Mrs. Ware told me once that Elisabeth Elliot said that, and it has always stuck with her -- I can see why. How often do we say "I am just struggling with this!"? Why do we struggle? Clearly, because we lack faith in the One with Whom we struggle. I am painfully aware with how much I have been arm wrestling in my spirit.

3. I cannot control what other people think of me. I guess that is pretty simple.

My mind is so at rest now, thanks to some fresh insight. I was very encouraged today for several reasons:

~Josh prayed with me before I went to work, which calmed my spirit and prepared my mindset. He also sweetly forbid me to do the dishes for the rest of the summer, and made the bed as soon as we were both out of it.

~An acquaintance brought me a bag of Starbuck's Tanzania Roast coffee -- the new summer roast. A guy I work with and I made a pot into iced coffee, which is my new favorite summer drink, and I felt this little "summer vacation" feeling while I was working. :)

~I had a lovely lunch outside with my friend Rachel. She has been a dear friend to me here, and we are in cahoots with a plan to invite over every woman in our church (over a period of time). Today we planned our next ladies brunch.

There is such a relief in knowing that Jesus knows all our sorrows, and He is available to talk to every moment. He goes to work with me, and cleans my house with me, and lets me lean on His shoulder whenever I need to. I choose to fight for the joy of the Lord!

Eating Veggies

Some time back, Sara Foz, I believe, requested I post ideas for vegetarian eating. It feels strange to write a whole post on food (I mean other than restaurant eating!), but I do want to make my readers happy!

Yesterday I was reading Carolyn Mahaney's Feminine Appeal and these words stood out to me. They seemed appropriate for this post:
"First and foremost, we are to recieve our food with thanksgiving. It is God who created and provided food for us in the first place. Shouldn't we at least be grateful? Let us resolve never to eat without offering thanks to our God for His bountiful provision.

"God also wants us to enjoy our good. It is a gift from the one 'Who richly provides us with everything to enjoy'. . . Jesus thoroughly delighted in the gift of food. So let's relish our food in the same way."

When I first became a vegetarian, I did so to make an attempt to be more healthy. However, the dorm food I most enjoyed (cookies, chips, cheese and crackers, desserts of all kinds) were still allowed by my new diet, and I was certainly more unhealthy than before. Later, I went through an eating disorder during the years Josh and I were courting and engaged. Food was the enemy, and I rode a roller coaster of emotions based on how fat or skinny I felt that day (notice I say felt. Rarely do we actually look how we feel! No one else would have guessed I was on cloud nine because I had eaten the EXACT number of calories I'd alloted myself). The Lord has so graciously taken me through that destructive and idolatrous mindset to a freedom where food is concerned. I do not eat meat. But I do attempt to eat a balanced diet of protein, grains, fruit and especially -- veggies! There are so many good things to eat out there that just by trying them, it is easy to keep your diet full of delicious variety!

Typically, Josh and I eat the following meals every week: pasta, mexican (of some variation), beans and rice (usually red), pizza, eggs. Those are easy vegetarian meals we both enjoy. Here is a list of some of my favorite vegetables, and how I like to prepare them. Hope it gives you some ideas!

Avacado: this may be my favorite food. I adore eating them made into fresh guacamole, or just sliced on a sandwich. Last week I tried one on a bagel with some sliced tomato, salt and pepper! WOW! You can also wrap them up in a tortilla (drizzle with ranch dressing), slice them on a salad, or eat them plain! YUM!

Asparagus: grilled is the very best way to eat these things. Also, if you steam it, drizzle lemon juice and butter and eat it as your entree with some bread. Or try it sauteed with other veggies and some pasta (I find it best to half or quarter them).

Artichokes: rounding out the big 3A's for me is this spiky guy. I'll admit -- I just buy the canned hearts. Chop them up, mix them with a little spinach, garlic, light mayo, Parmesan cheese and mozzarella. Bake it until all the cheese is melted. WONDERFUL dip. People ask me all the time for the recipe -- there it is. I also enjoy artichoke hearts as a pizza topping, or in the pasta salad at The Courier Cafe.

Broccoli: I love dips. This broccoli dip can be made with fresh or frozen broc! Chop it finely, add lots of onion (red looks pretty), chopped red pepper (or yellow), fresh garlic, light mayo, light sour cream and cheddar cheese (I buy 2% cheese). The amounts just depend on how much you want to make -- just add enough of everything until it's creamy. Salt and pepper everything, of course.

Carrots: who couldn't like these? Here is a delish pasta recipe: sautee lots of fresh garlic in olive oil, and add sliced carrots (I take the baby ones and halve them long way). About when the pasta water boils, add lots of green olives, mushrooms, and fresh parsley. When the pasta is nearly done, add halved grape tomatoes and pine nuts. Toss the pasta in your olive oil sauce! You can omit any of the ingredients, depending on what you have on hand. Good with tuna, too!

Green Onions: I was a grown up before I realized that you can eat the green part, too. These are a vital ingredient in "Cottage Cheese Stuff" invented by Rhonda Ferguson, which long enjoyed the status of my favorite food. Slice the green scallions, halve grape or cherry tomatoes, and mix into cottage cheese with plenty of garlic salt (secret ingredient) and pepper.

Mushrooms: The food Josh and I equally hold in high esteem. We love to saute a huge pan of them to eat with eggs, roast them in the oven (or grill in foil packets) with red potatoes and onions, put them on pizza, or eat them fresh in salads. I love a "burger" of a portabella top.

Olives: These surface so often as my favorites. I like them all, but I most commonly eat everyday green spanish olives. I like them on top of a bagel and cream cheese (with tomatoes!), in scrambled eggs, on pizza, and in burritos (black ones). Sometimes we get pizza with double olives!

Peppers: red are bar none superior to the other colors. If you actually eat them, they are well worth the price. Put them in the dip I mentioned earlier, on a grilled cheese sandwich, or just fresh in their glorious sweetness. Piperade is a wonderful sort of sauce to be eaten with poached eggs. Chop up red peppers very small, and heat them with chopped tomato, salt and a little cayenne. Wowzers.

Tomatoes: these are obviously the king daddy for me. I am certain I eat some variety of this vegetable-like fruit every day. I am drawn to sauces, salsas, slices -- whatever! I am so sorry for you if you don't like tomatoes. I cannot help you with that, because I simply cannot imagine it. Here is a great way to use up the big fresh ones from the garden (do you need help with that? It is not really a problem for me, I eat them so much). Cut a big or medium tomato in half, drizzle it with olive oil, salt and pepper (lots of pepper). Roast them slowly in the oven at a lowish temp. I like to toss some pine nuts on top near the end, and eat them with fresh bread. Holy moly. You won't believe how good it is. You won't need anything else for dinner.

This is only a small survey of ideas from my favorite veggies, saying nothing of roasted garlic, veggie lasagna, potato latkes, and sweet pea risotto. The list of ideas are all off the top of my head, I didn't consult a single cookbook. What is your favorite way to eat veggies?

Romantic Musings

A beautiful couple at our church got married today, and I sneaked into the wedding with a friend of mine. It was amazing. Many of the guests had African roots -- or really were from Africa -- and were adorned in breathtaking apparel: fantastic headdresses, intricate gowns bedecked with unique embroidery, lace and sparkles, men with flowing shirts that were almost cape-like. The couple had chosen wonderful congregational worship songs, and multiple scripture readings making the entire service a delightful reflection of Christ's union with the church.

I feel as though weddings like these are so very romantic. I love them. I've been in a romantic mood all day.

So for your reading enjoyment, I have chosen a favorite romantic excerpt from a book I am currently reading. This passage in The Witch of Blackbird Pond takes place where the young Puritan Theology student confesses to Kit (the heroine) his secret love for her cousin Mercy, who is crippled. John's sensitive declaration is just heart-wrenching.

"Slowly she began to realize what he had said. 'John! Why should you want to talk to Mercy?'

"His eyes twinkled. 'Why do you think I come so often?'

"'But I thought -- we all thought -- I mean --'

"It has always been Mercy, from the very beginning. Didn't you guess that?'

"'Oh John!'

"'I'm glad you approve,' he said 'Do you think I have a chance, Kit?'

"'A chance! Just you try! Oh John, I'm so happy I could dance a jig!'

"'I can't try yet,' he reminded her soberly. 'I have nothing to offer her, nothing at all.'

"'You'll have a church of your own some day. Only -- could Mercy -- do you think she could manage a minister's household? There are so many things Mercy can't do, John.'

"'Then I will do them for her,' he said quietly. 'I don't want a wife to wait on me. For Mercy just to be what she is -- I could never do enough to make up for it.'"

Safely Home

We're halfway through June, and at this time last year I'd made a huge dent in my summer reading. But this year, I've finished only one book so far -- the often recommended title about the persecuted church: Safely Home by Randy Alcorn. My friend Christen has been suggesting I read this book for about a year and a half. I admit, I put it off a little bit because I am not a huge fan of Christian fiction (I know -- that sounds so snobby! I'm sorry!) and also because for whatever reason I could not get it out of my head that this book has nothing whatsoever to do with baseball! Chris, if you are reading this before you go to Brazil, I want to thank you so much for making me borrow it before we parted ways in December. It was really good -- you were right.

I liked Safely Home for two reasons: it contained quite a bit of history -- both of the persecuted church in China and of China itself -- and I liked the C.S. Lewis-like descriptions of heaven and the last things (seriously, did Randy Alcorn finish reading The Last Battle right before he wrote this book?). Learning about Christians in other countries is fascinating to me, and this book was so inspiring as I read about the tremendous faith of these persecuted brothers and sisters. It amazed me that as I read about the brutal treatment of Christians described in the book, I became less afraid of my own personal suffering. In fact, I began to see how we share in Christ's suffering through what we ourselves endure, and thus relate to Him in a more intimate way. The author did a fantastic job of focusing on persecution with a lens that sees through that and into the delights of eternity. It would be easy to write a book about how horrible things were so that American Christians could sympathize, but what a far better goal to write not only how horrible it really is, but also how worth it this light affliction will be in eternity. That is because He Who Holds up the Sky sits with you in the cell, His presence more real than the filth around you.

One's Social Calendar:

Opportunity for ministry or detriment to spiritual growth?

This week has been absolutely chock full of blessed social appointments. I have been living "high on the hog" as it were, trying new restaurants with my friend Misty who stayed with us this week, meeting girlfriends for coffee, visiting with people from church (either in their home or out for pizza), getting doughnuts, pie kitchen, etc.

Whoa. . .

It is almost overwhelming. Jesus has blessed me with precious relationships, fantastic conversations, probing questions and endless moments of laughter -- so I want to take these dinner dates and cups of coffee as gifts from my blessed Savior's hand, and not take them for granted! This was a huge aspect of the seminary life that I was so eagerly looking forward to -- the social life!

I do, however, know my own nature enough to see where I could become almost addicted to filling my life with social events, and thereby rather complacent in my home life or negligent in my spiritual walk with Christ. It is true that it may be a bit harder to love Christ supremely, devote myself utterly to cultivating a relationship with Him and long for the glories of Heaven when I am so filled up with the benefits of these relationships on earth. When I have had meal after meal after meal in a new fantastic place, sharing in a dynamic conversation . . . well, it's a bit hard to miss my Jesus! I may feel like I need Him less, somehow, because my cup runs over.

We do need one another's sharpening in our lives, though, don't we? I need to be asked good questions, and to focus my attention on really listening to my friend's needs. Christ would have His body to be unified -- loving one another, showing hospitality, building each other up and speaking the truth in love. It is important to be able to cultivate that in day to day life, otherwise we might so easily turn inward, thinking our small world is the only one of importance, and our small hurts are the only ones that exist.

The key here? Balance. Quite obviously, my response to an overwhelmingly blessed week in the company of my Christian brothers and sisters ought to be to pour out my thanksgiving to Christ -- the Best Friend of all friends -- and seek to devote myself to some quality "us time": just me and Christ. I need to read His word, speak to Him frequently, and probably ensure that quite such a heavy schedule does not continue for weeks and weeks (I am thinking that after a shower I'm going to tomorrow night, that's gonna be it for awhile!). I need to pay attention to the prompting of the Holy Spirit telling me that my home, my relationship with my husband and my sweet walk with Jesus may start to suffer if I make one more coffee date.

It's been a great week, Jesus! Next week I want to spend more of it with you!

These pictures are a super small sampling of this week: Misty and I in the car sometime, eating dinner at our friend Brady's house, and with Elizabeth Coffman-Mackey at Lynn's Paradise Cafe.

Tying the Knot

In response to my dear friends who asked me to write about my wedding (now a date in history, 6 long years past!), I now set my hand (or fingertips) to writing about that blessed day.

At that point in our walks with Christ, Josh and I had developed in our theology only far enough to understand that a wedding was not about 2 people, but really about Christ and His bride, the church. In our hearts, we longed for Christ to be the One lifted up . . . though we were rather young and if I were to be totally honest and real, I'd admit that pockets of my heart also longed to see Gretchen lifted up. Maybe not in the usual sense, but I certainly had to fight the battle of self-promotion that comes along with wedding planning -- I wanted people to say that our wedding was the best, the most fun, the most unique. Those are good things, of course! But the pride in my heart kept me from enjoying most of the process of getting ready for a big party . . . but I digress.

So that was my heart. But I do reflect on the Lord's goodness to us that day with a thankful heart, and it is with that heart that I share with you now the day Josh and I entered a covenant relationship with one another.We got married June 2nd, 2001 at Calvary Baptist Church in Danville, Illinois. Pastor Joe Humrichous married us, and our witnesses were my maid of honor -- my sister Anna -- and Josh's best man -- his brother Ryan. We both have big fams, so in the wedding were my 3 sisters Anna, Abby and Emily (Nancy was not in our family as yet), pictured in blue, red and light yellow, respectively, and Josh's 3 sisters Kari, Melissa and Laura, pictured in pink, yellow and dark blue. My friend Misty (red) was my one non-related bridesmaid. Josh had his brother Ryan, my brother Nathan, his cousins Georg and Jeramie, my cousin Robbie, and his friend Scott. As you can see in the picture, I wanted everyone to wear something they liked and felt comfortable in, so the girls chose their colors and dresses, and the boys all wore navy suits. Daisies match everything!

I bought my dress off e-bay (which had just arisen in all its glory as an endless resource for frugal wedding planners) for $40. It was from the 60's, and even though my mom freaked out initially that I was wearing an old hippie's dress, she was okay with the overall look that came out. It was made out of a soft cotton seersucker material -- so comfortable! We made a daisy wreath with a bunch of ribbons hanging from it for me to wear instead of a veil. The auditorium was quite simply decorated (I wanted none at all, but my mom just couldn't stand that!) with a couple large potted flowers and sticks with yellow berries on them hanging from each pew (they were left over from Courtni Rudolph's graduation open house!). Josh and I faced the audience as we said our vows and were charged by Pastor Joe (who stood on the floor in front of us). Our attendants stood around us boy/girl. I am all about that look for those of you who may be planning a wedding! It is so much easier for everyone to see the bride and groom. We all sang a congregational song together: "We are so blessed".

Our reception is my favorite part! I really really wanted to have a casual picnic at my parent's home (my home at the time!) for the reception. It took some cajoling, but my flexible mom agreed to let us make all the food for everyone. Misty, Anna, my mom and I made a huge spread of Italian beef, shredded chicken sandwiches, potato salad, veggies, baked beans, cottage cheese salad, Balreich's potato chips and fruit. Misty and I also made about 50 pies -- big lovely 10 inch ones. Josh and I were not so into a fancy wedding cake, and we like pie better anyway! I can't remember all the flavors of pie we made, but I promise every crust was home-made and hand rolled, and every apple was hand peeled. I've not been in the presence of so many huge pies since that day!

Have you seen Steel Magnolias? If you are a girl, you truly MUST see this movie! In Shelby's wedding, they have a groom's cake in the shape of a giant armadillo, made with red velvet cake and gray icing. Somehow during our 11 month engagement, we decided we needed one of those, too. Enter Misty, Anna and Gretchen, armadillo cake designers. I was the engineer. I figured out what shapes of cakes we'd need to build this guy with (a loaf pan for a head, for instance). Misty and Anna were the artists, decorating with heavy gray buttercream icing to their hearts' content. We multiplied Evelyn Hill's red velvet recipe by 6, and made a lifesize armadillo out of cake the day before the wedding. The next morning when I came downstairs, it looked like the armadillo had been run over by a car -- his red insides were showing where his heavy buttercream side had caved in on him! We served him smooth side facing out.

It was a fun day (though rather cold for June!). I saw teenage boys playing basketball out front, kids playing on the swings in the back and various ladies sitting in the family room by the fireplace. Just what I'd hoped for! I tossed my bouquet from the upstairs balcony outside -- no ceiling to hit!

As we left the house for our honeymoon, we were sent off by a fun crowd of all ages waving sparklers, blowing bubbles, tossing snap 'n' pops, and giving us hugs and cheers. Amid the bubbles and smoke, it was like a beautiful cloud of happiness! We cried as we drove away -- feeling more blessed and loved than we'd ever felt before.

**Edit: I do apologize for the poor quality of pictures here. I know that is what you all want to see. Unfortunately, all my pictures are in scrapbooks and frames and I do not have a scanner! This is the best I could do!

Summer Evening

My friend Misty is visiting us right now, and we decided to grill out tonight (at the last minute, due to the weirdness of today's weather). Kevin knew of a huge pavilion where we'd be safe from sudden rain showers, if they were to arise again, so we set out, armed with enough gorgeous fresh summery food to feed an army.







We fixed veggie kabobs, asparagus, hamburgers, cottage cheese salad, strawberry shortcake, and the yummiest of all -- pineapple on the grill! Don't those kabobs look lovely?






Check out the look on Misty and Kevin's faces as they discuss how they truly feel about eating meat. I have to say they mirror my own feelings.







Heather and I pose for a self-shot (Heather is a friend I worked with . . . until this past Friday!). She ditched me for a better job, so I am currently looking for a fun single female to work with. . . must be able to put up with a lot and take my part on everything (girls stick together, right?).








Brady proves he does not care for asparagus (yeah right, he ate a load of it!). He is our friend from church -- lots of fun, and funny and single!





Misty shows us how to smoke your asparagus. It was so wonderful on the grill! Little summer tip if you want a healthy dish to grill out! Brush with e.v.o.o. and season a bit -- viola!









Here is a shot of my plate. Don't worry, I didn't eat a hamburger -- that is roasted veggies on a grilled ciabatta bun. The whole plated effect was rather artful, I felt. The colors and tastes of the evening were so vibrant and fresh. Josh and Brady discussed their summer school classes, Heather, Misty and I took a walk and played on the playground -- how summery can you get?

Six Years for Josh and Gret

How does something seem long and short at the same time? On one hand, I cannot believe that I have been married for six whole years -- it seems like I am too young for that to be possible! On the other hand, I'm having difficulty remembering what it was like before we got married, and six years doesn't seem long enough!

Today is our six-year anniversary. Josh works weekends, so we decided to go out for breakfast this morning to celebrate. I really love simple celebrations. We went to The Blue Dog Cafe and Artisan Bakery here in our neighborhood. YUM! I had dreamed of the poached eggs with piperade ever since last September when we came to Louisville to visit, and ate at the Blue Dog with our college friend Kevin McFadden. Josh also enjoyed this unique breakfast dish along with cups and cups and cups of their good strong Italian coffee. Do you ever just really really like a very small thing? Today I was just loving the creamer they served with the coffee. I don't even usually use cream, but it was just so white and cold and it was served in this little stone creamer, that we used the whole pitcher up. I think the Lord was just blessing us with an extra measure of pleasure on this day, and even the coffee creamer seemed extra-ordinarily good.

After breakfast we walked down Franklin avenue, enjoying the warm morning. We went to the Farmer's market in the parking lot of a church, and then headed back home.

Here is a picture of what we gave ourselves as an anniversary present! An air conditioner, YEA! Now people who come to visit will not be roasted to shrivelines and killed to death. :) Truly, for us to be able to show any hospitality at all this summer, another air conditioning unit was completely essential. It is nice and cool in the living room as I type this! Thank you, Jesus!

I am so thankful for my sweet, patient husband who has a hunger for God and a love for His word and His people. Our marriage has improved so much over these past years (which is so funny, because when we got married, I kind of thought we hit the high point! So take heart, my newly-wed, or unwed friends . . . it just keeps getting better.) Donette and I discussed that over our falafel at Shiraz the other day -- personal sanctification is the reason our marriages are so much better NOW than at the beginning! It's just Jesus and His grace!

Back in the Saddle Again

Four months and 20 days ago, I said goodbye to "My Isaac" -- my Wednesday night children's ministry. It was excruciatingly difficult to let go -- and not a Wednesday night has passed that I have not thought about my precious, precious kids and my dear friends working in the basement at Calvary. Wednesday night was my first full-time children's ministry after I graduated from college. I was so blessed to serve with "Miss DiAnne", my former pastor's wife, who passed away nearly 5 years ago from cancer. Miss DiAnne was a legend. Her devotion to the word of God, and passionate love for Jesus was not something I've seen every day. She ran a one-man show, teaching, disciplining, and utterly captivating the kids with her thoughts on the scripture passages they were memorizing. She'd dance around on her skinny little legs, arms gesturing wildly saying "And then, face to face!" (referencing I Corinthians 13:12) "I will see my Jesus face to face! My Jesus . . . My JESUS!"

It lit a fire in me. I couldn't imagine anything more wonderful than being able to do what she did with children. She was my mentor (thankfully, she let Misty and I assist her and learn from her), and I began to dig in and invest in the souls of the children I worked with.

After 7 years, I said goodbye. I did not know when or if I would be able to become a part of a children's ministry after we moved to Kentucky. However . . .

I am so blessed! I was asked to help with the Wednesday night ministry at Clifton! We are doing a super fun summer program using a curriculum made by Connie Dever at Capitol Hill Baptist Church on the Chronicles of Narnia. I just love how imaginative and out-of-the-box it is. I went upstairs last night with the kids (my 1st time!), and I found a group of fantastic kiddos. It is going to be so fun to work with them!

All this came on the heels of another superb blessing that I hardly know how to mention, for fear of stumbling over my own gratitude and landing in a pile of pride. My sweet friend Mandy (of Camp OUTT fame) gave me a video titled "We Miss You Miss Gretchen" from the Wednesday night kids at Calvary. It was footage of the kids working on their verses, giving me messages and recalling memories, and then a short play of "Little Miss Gretchen" (written by Rachel Wells, age 11, and performed by a handful of kids. Rachel's sister Hannah played "me"). I tell you, I sobbed and snarfed and sniggled and bawled my heart out! There is a sort of crying that comes from an intensely strong mixture of pleasure, sorrow and heart-wrenching humility. (can you tell I was crying in this picture?) I was astounded by the video. The Miss Gretchen character wore her hair up and big African bracelets (kids notice everything), and the play showed Miss Gretchen at Camp OUTT (making pies and solving a fight in the sand), and at Wednesday night church (leading the Bible Creed, and meeting with my small group). I was also blown away by what the kids thanked me for on the video -- learning about the Passover, picking blueberries, making pies for Thanksgiving -- I certainly hadn't thought about those things recently, so I cannot believe they remembered them! Megan, one of the moms, added background music to the movie, which was really great. (Ha ha, I found you out, Megan!)

I have been on cloud 9 all week!

Happy Birthday, Gret-reads-247!!

It is the one-year birthday of my blog. I remember how hesitant I was when I first began writing -- what all to say (or not to say), should I put up pictures, how long should my posts be? 91 posts later, what I write comes with a greater deal of ease, and I have to fight not to spend too much time blogging. For my anniversary post, I thought I'd reflect on what I enjoy most about blogging.

1. Getting in touch with old friends. When I started blogging, the only people I knew with blogs were Sarah and G-Knee. I started talking to them on a regular basis, and pretty quickly the number of college friends who blogged grew and grew (reference G-Knee's blog). I have so enjoyed using this avenue to dialog with people about growth in Christ, books we've read, and our spiritual odysseys. Today I met up with Donette, since she was in L-ville for the New Attitude conference (I live here, and I couldn't even go!). If Nettie and I did not talk via the blogosphere, I would never have known she was coming to my city, and she never would have known I lived here. I am so thankful for the encouragement I've received from my brothers and sisters in Christ because our world is that much smaller thanks to our blogging.

2. Staying in contact with family and friends in Illinois (and Brazil!). When we first moved in January, I was just gasping for air, because I missed everyone so much. I've written many times on how much I adored the children I ministered to, and how hard it was to leave. It is precious to read my friend's blogs, see their kids, and send them messages any time I want. My dad and my sister Emily regularly read my blog, and I'm always thrilled to get messages from them! It is not uncommon to have someone from our home church in Illinois say "now, I read on your blog that you and Josh found a new church", and I'm so surprised that we've been able to keep current like that!

3. Meeting new people! I have been so blessed in the friendships the Lord has given me because of my blog. Some, like Grace, I have actually met and become real life friends with. Others, like Karen and Morning Rose, the blogosphere has remained the only sphere of our relationship. Yet the Lord has used these people to be sources of His grace in my life.

I read back through my old posts, and chose my favorites -- if you have not been reading all year, please read and enjoy!

Time for Valens

Homes"cool"

Lifesong

My Isaac

Unveiling the Motives

Happy Birthday to Me!

The Honey that Drips

And while you're reading all that . . .

While thinking about my series of posts on recommended reading, it dawned on me that while it is utterly clear that I adore books, enjoy talking about them, advising people on what to read, etc., it is sadly not so abundantly clear that I enjoy reading -- or even carve out time to read -- the most important Book of all.

My Bible.

I am easily caught up in giving advice about reading, telling others how good a book was, offering to lend a title to someone . . . but I rarely offer up insights I gained from my personal Bible reading.

Sad.

I am sorry about that. And I'd like it to change. I do read my Bible -- a least a little every day, and a LOT some days. I am reading through the Bible this year, which I've never done before (successfully). I am using the NLT One Year Bible, which is a compact hard-back little book, pictured here. Having a planned out schedule like this that tells me what to read everyday has really made me stick to it -- in previous ventures I'd fall short a day or two and not really know how far behind I was. This is by far the best I've done in reading through the Bible in a year! Right now I am in I Samuel and the Gospel of John (more about that later).

My prettiful green ESV is my little companion Bible. I keep it in its original box in my purse. I read it for church, Bible studies, extra reading, or if I get stuck waiting somewhere. Josh gave me this Bible for my birthday last summer, and I have kept it looking perfectly new, opting to write notes in a journal rather than the margins!

Today I was struck with 2 fresh insights from the Word, which came from completely different passages, but a common theme wove them together. Allow me to show you:

In I Samuel 26:17-19, David is speaking to Saul after sparing his life, and asks him why he is chasing him. Here is the interesting part (I have never seen this before) -- David says "If it is the Lord who has stirred you up against me, may He accept my offering". That hit me like a ton of bricks! The "man after God's own heart" certainly understood the scope of the sovereignty of the God He worshiped. Basically, David realized that if God had set Saul against him, then it was to God he must make his appeal -- Saul was just a tool.

Now flip to John 11:49-51. Caiaphas the high priest responds to those who wished to get rid of Jesus for fear that everyone would believe in Him because He raised Lazarus from the dead. Caiaphas' statement that "it is better for you that one man should die for the people, not that the whole nation should perish" is qualified by John (the author) by stating that Caiaphas did not say that of his own accord, but because he was the high priest at this time, he made this prophecy. Amazing. This evil man actually able to accurately prophesy!

Both of those passages were assigned for the same day. After reading them, the application inevitably came to me: evil men (and Satan) are on a leash -- and my Sovereign God holds the handle. The implications that makes in everyday life are astounding -- and unlimited!

Now that is one good book!

My Sisters' Reading Lists

Here are the reading lists I prepared for two of my little sisters (per their requests). I have done this for them for the past 3 years, or so, and they always read a good portion of the books on the list (but I don't think they've ever finished them). They both adore reading like their older sisters (and mother) -- I am so glad we have that in common! Above is a picture of the 3 of us at Dr. Mohler's house last fall (I felt it was fitting in a post about reading!) Here you go, girls -- I only gave you each 9 books this year, so feel free to re-read an old fave, if you'd like! :)

For Abby (age 14):

~The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom (what can I say? It's a classic!)
~The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas by John Boyne (in the vein of Hiding Place)
~Dorie, the Girl Nobody Loved by Doris Van Stone (a serious story for her to ponder)
~From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Frank E Basilweiler by E.L. Konigsburg (classic kid's tale!)
~To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (her thick classic to tackle -- how can this book not affect you? Abby will read it, I'm certain, and embrace doing so).
~Hoot by Carl Hiaasen (just for fun -- this is a funny one!)
~The Little Woman by Gladys Aylward (her biography read -- I think it's important for us to read biographies of inspiring people who have walked before us!)
~The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart (I've mentioned this one before -- it's right up Abby's alley -- she has terrific taste in children's lit)
~Thimble Summer by Elizabeth Enright (you need a short summer title)

For Emily (age 18):
~Let the Nations Be Glad by John Piper (this is her most challenging read, but I am confident she'll bite it right off -- Emily has a heart for missions, and this will be excellent for her)
~Does My Head Look Big in This? by Randa Abdel-Fattah (this book is a teen fiction book about a Muslim girl who chooses to wear the head-covering full time. I usually steer clear of teeny-bopper fiction -- as does Emma -- but this one is pretty interesting for the insight it gives into the mind of a young Muslim woman).
~The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom
~12 Extraordinary Women by John MacArthur
~The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate Dicamilo (light read, but outstanding story)
~Sold! by Patricia McCormick (here's another exceptional teen fiction story . . . I wasn't sure if I'd ever let my sister's read it, but I think Emma is mature enough for it. This book changed my life, and you can read how here.
~Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss (this was a great recent read for me, and I know Emma will like it!)
~Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling (of course)

Summer Reading for the Kids. . .

To continue in the popular vein of summer reading choices (and to celebrate the 1-year anniversary of my blog, which is right around the corner), I thought I'd make some suggestions for the younger crowd . . . or the young at heart!

To read with your daughter(s): The Penderwicks by Jeanne Birdsall (great book about SUMMER!). It's a lovely tale of 4 sisters and their father and summer adventure that will make you feel like a child again! And if your daughter has not read The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes, you need to make it a rite of passage in your home! I've heard boys can be affected by it as well . . . but the message rings clear and true with girls.

To read with your son(s): Alabama Moon by Watt Key (warning: light swearing in this book, and I am not QUITE done with it. . . but it's really good!). Other good options for boys (some of these I've gotten from Josh, but tried and true when read to real live boys) -- Skinnybones by Barbara Park (VERY funny story of a kid who is terrible at sports, but has a loud mouth), The Twits by Roald Dahl (also The Witches).

To read with the whole fam: The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart, The Mistmantle Chronicles by M.I. McAllister, Gone-Away Lake by Elizabeth Enright (and anything else by her -- Return to Gone-Away Lake, The Saturdays, The Four Story Mistake, Then There Were 5, and Spiderweb for Two.)

To read with the little ones: God Knows My Name, I Love My Bible and I Can Talk to God by Debby Anderson. Cannot say enough about these -- they call for a whole post themselves! They're my newly-discovered favorite Christian picture books for kids. I know you can get them at LifeWay, or order them from Julie! They are also illustrated by Debby Anderson, who illustrated Noel Piper's Most of All, Jesus Loves You. I admire Debby's skill in drawing simply adorable children of all colors loving their Bibles and learning about God. Each page makes specific Biblical statements about God, which are supported in fine print by Bible references -- WOW! As for a good new non-Christian picture book, I love Houndsley and Catina by James Howe, it won the 2007 Read-Aloud award.

Happy reading! Spread out a blanket under a tree, grab your water bottles and some good snacks to munch on, and create a summer tradition (whether you are reading with the kids or alone)!

Thoughts on Summer Reading . . .

It's pretty important to me to have a summer reading list. I make a monthly list every month, but when summer comes, I make a huge list for all the days I call "summer" (usually June, July, August). I try to go for 25 books in a summer, including one thick juicy classic (usually Dickens), and a variety of others.

Here is what I'll be reading this summer:

Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
The Cross-Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney
On Asking God Why by Elisabeth Elliot
From Homer to Harry Potter, a Handbook on Myth and Fantasy by Matthew Dickerson
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J. K. Rowling
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare
The Legacy of Sovereign Joy by John Piper
The Civil War by Shelby Foote (at least part of the 3-volume series)
*Edit: Safely Home by Randy Alcorn, per the suggestion of Christen and Karen*

That's what I've got so far! I'm up for suggestions! What will you be reading? I'd be happy to make you a personalized reading list. . .

Mum

Love ya, Mum (Marjalo, Mahatamuta, Mother-dear, Queen Mum)!

4 of the daughters with my mom at a Mother/Daughter brunch (shame on the sissy who didn't show!) My mom should have won the prize for most daughters. Anybody else got 5??

Camp OUTT 101

Due to my last post, I've had quite a few people asking me exactly what Camp OUTT is, and I find myself answering in a brief, concise way, as not to bore anyone (I love this thing so much that I could ramble on and on). But then my blog buddy Karen asked me to give a little detail, and it seemed as though the Lord was prompting me to share more about what a unique ministry it is, in case it would inspire anyone else to do something like this someday!

To begin with, Camp OUTT was my friend Misty's idea. She had spent the summer in Russia teaching English, and her young students followed her around from morning until night (even when not in class). She did way more than teach them English, she invested time in them, and saw how responsive they were to her when she was playing wiffle ball, watching movies, cooking, reading stories out loud or just hanging out with them. She had the idea that we try to recreate such a thing as an outreach from our church, and spend a whole summer with kids in the community -- running a daycamp, which provides a service many parents need anyway.

Our church in Illinois owns this ideal property that was formerly a putt-putt golf course. It is a huge fenced in park-like property which is just big enough to really feel like you are living in the great outdoors, but totally safe because of the fence. It has trees and a bit of a hill, a sand volleyball court, and a pavilion to eat in, as well as a small building with a kitchen, bathrooms and enough room to all sit down and read in the air-conditioning. So that is where we began Camp OUTT.

Here is a typical day:

• Kids arrive as early as 7:30. We jump rope, draw with chalk, play cards, and talk to the kids.
• Opening time -- announcements, active worship songs
• Bible lesson and small group application time
  
• Game time (capture the flag absolute FAV!)
• Small group reading time/morning snack (split up, take your group under a lovely tree and read from some wonderful chapter book and rest on a quilt together)
• Encouragement time* (points given to individuals/teams) and more singing
  
• Lunch
• Short time of free play before clean-up
• Inside whole group reading time -- we always read Narnia
• Craft time
• Surf 'n' Turf (fancy name for go put on your swim suit and play in the slip 'n' slide, wading pool, sprinklers, sand pit, hoses, etc.)
• Afternoon snack and more awards
  
• Maybe another round of game time (if desired)
  
• Free time and clean-up.

As you can imagine, all the leaders play with the kids, talk to the kids, join in during craft time and reading time, making it a day when we really invest in being with and becoming friends with the kids. The leaders freely share Christ with the kids, and use the everyday circumstances to point them to Christ (you see how sin, forgiveness, etc. become a topic constantly in the midst of 30 kids).

*Encouragement time is designed to award kids for showing character qualities throughout the day. For example: "I'd like to give a coin to Rebekah for showing initiative by gathering up all the wrappers after our snack this morning. She did it on her own without being asked" (that carries a bit more weight than just awarding kids for being "helpers"). Each leader keeps a chart of character qualities and their meanings on a clip board and writes names down through the day. Last year we had a pirate theme, so we awarded coins all day, and then one camper of the day would win the Pirate Medalian to wear around their neck (and keep). This year we are having a cowboy theme and the coins can be spent at the "General Store".

We do charge for Camp OUTT to cover costs and adult leaders are compensated with a sort of "thank you" check (not much but not nothing). Teen helpers are given camp scholarships, or another form of reimbursement (but not just straight up money -- you can't pay minors for child care).

That about wraps it up! I hope I didn't give so much info that it bored everyone, but I just get carried away because I love this ministry so much. The Lord has blessed us with fruit both summers we ran Camp OUTT, and we are praying for that again this year!

I'm taking suggestions for books to read aloud, active games that about 40 people can play, cowboyish snacks, etc. You can help with Camp OUTT by helping me with ideas!

Camp O.U.T.T. (opening up to truth)

Sum-sum-sumah time . . .

It's the time of year that everyone asks everyone else what their plans for the summer are. Just a few weeks ago, I would have answered "I'll be doing just what I'm doing now!", with not a small pang of sadness.

But. . .

Bless the Lord; He made an alteration to the plan I had resigned myself to! Just a couple months ago, I wrote this expressing my disappointment that I would not be able to work at Camp OUTT again this summer. Camp OUTT is a daycamp I ran at my old church a couple of summers -- and it was SUCH a wonderful ministry. It is an outreach for people who need child care in the community, and what a perfect opportunity for building relationships with unchurched children and their families! You can read what I wrote about Camp OUTT last year here and here. I have some of the best memories of my life of those weeks.

And this summer we get to do it again! I can hardly contain my excitement. It is so much more blissful because the Lord took me through a time when I had to die to that hope, and give it up to Him, saying "Your will, Lord, not mine". That is just like Him to ask me to give something to Him just so He can hand it right back to me!

Please pray for Camp OUTT in these ways:

1. For open, searching, needy kids to be signed up, and their hearts prepared to hear the gospel.
   
2. For my friend Mandy, who is coordinating everything for me in Illinois, and expecting twins! (pictured at right -- Mandy, not the twins)
3. For our team to be united, and everybody pitch in to get things ready.
   

Dr. Mohler Steals the Show at SWI Spring Celebration

I've sung Mrs. Mohler's accolades before. But she has amazed me yet again tonight with her fabulous Spring Celebration she throws every year to honor the Seminary Wives Institute participants. Her hospitality class hosts the event (I will be taking that class as soon as possible!) and made it a truly top notch evening with delicious food (including a chocolate fountain), gorgeous decor (everything in hot pink and black, including Mrs. Mohler) and an abundance of prizes to give away! The show-stopper, though, was the radio melodrama Dr. Mohler wrote and performed -- a parody of the show "Desperate Housewives" -- yes, it was:

"Desperate Seminary Housewives!"*

After the laughter died down, and the giveaways were about to commence, a bit of a scream went up in the audience (not unlike the sound made by fans at a Beatles concert), and Southern's own rock star swept through the crowd tie-less and grinning from ear to ear. He headed straight for his wife, and there in front of us all, Dr. Mohler kissed Mrs. Mohler.

Amazing!


Afterwards, I was able to chase Mrs. Mohler down and get a picture with her! You'll notice I am holding my planner. I did in fact show Mrs. Mohler my planner and told her she inspired me to get organized. She so congenially told me that she was proud of me (and that she liked the green)! How sweet!

I also had my picture taken with my teacher, Mrs. Hatfield, who taught our Leadership II class. Mrs. Hatfield insists that she has no talents or giftings except just being a nice person. I would reply that that seems to be an exceptional gift! She so sweetly remembered details about the lives of so many of the girls in her class (for example, asking me tonight how my visit with James and Christen was). Now that's a gift I need more of!

* The drama "The Case of the Missing Husband" portrayed desperate seminary wives who did not ever see their husbands due to excessive studying in the library or taking too many hard classes. One wife lamented to her husband "before you see your child again, he may be walking. . . he may be talking . . . he may be tempted by Arminianism!"

**Edit: Check back in case I am able to upload some pictures of Dr. Mohler's appearance as well as the audio of his performance.**

Crowned with Honor

Perhaps most of the Christian world is already aware of the brutal murders in Turkey recently, where 3 of our brothers in Christ paid the ultimate sacrifice for their faith, but I doubt it. Most of us are so wrapped up in our high-speed American lives that things like this just pass us by without much thought. I know I tend to be like that. I was so glad that my friend Jenn posted about this horrific event. If you want to read about it, I'll point you to this article, which I link here with a warning (it does describe the violence that occurred).

I was blown away by this statement from one of the widows, Shemsa. She told the world, “His death was full of meaning, because he died for Christ and he lived for Christ… Necati was a gift from God. I feel honored that he was in my life, I feel crowned with honor. I want to be worthy of that honor.”

She feels crowned with honor because the Lord judged her worthy to give Him this sacrifice. My dear Christian sisters, how often do we lash out in pride because we feel as though our husband does not give us the respect we deserve, or feel frustrated due to what we consider unfair lack of possessions or beauty or prestige? We sigh discontentedly at the mirror over a bad hair day and jealously eye the cute outfit (or children, or car, or home) of the girl next door. Sobering, isn't it? We certainly do not know suffering like this, and we grow lazy and greedy because of the abundance of the blessing we enjoy.

I recently heard John Piper remark that it is difficult to be a Christian in posh surroundings (meaning the lovely Seminary we attend). This is true, because we begin to think our comforts are necessities and our indulgences gods. More than anything, the news of these deaths have made me reflect on what a complacent Christian I am. I think you'll find these closing words from the article about the martyrs to be an inspiration, and I'll urge you to search your own heart:

"But we know He (Christ) did not leave their side. We know their minds were full of Scripture strengthening them to endure, as darkness tried to subdue the un-subduable Light of the Gospel. We know, in whatever way they were able, with a look or a word, they encouraged one another to stand strong. We know they knew they would soon be with Christ."