Hard to Write

So. . .

I have thought of quite a few subjects to write about here on my blog. But I have no time. And I'm having writers block.

And after I work all week, I want to just focus on my baby!

Sigh. . . I remember when I started this blog, I worked at the Blue Kangaroo, where I had lots of extra free hours to read. That's why I named my blog what I did -- "Gretchen Reads 24/7" -- because I did feel like I read that often. Since I had Susie, I started feeling like I was falling asleep every time I got into a book! (Okay, that's an exaggeration -- I have read this summer, just NOTHING compared to how much I have read in the past).

I've been thinking about what all I can scale back on now that I am full time Mom and full time at the bookstore. I am committed to taking care of Josh and Sus as good as I can in the time I have in the evenings and weekend. And I have not been doing a good job writing this blog for a couple months now.

So. . . I think I need to take a hiatus from the blog. I hope I don't have to give it up forever. Susie and I are enjoying some children's books together, and I'd love to write about those in down the line. But for now, I'm going to take a break from the blogosphere. I know there aren't a ton of readers out there waiting to see what I'm going to write about, but for those of you who have faithfully been reading, I am sorry.

But I know it's a good decision -- more time with Suslie. And who knows? Maybe I'll think of something I absolutely have to write about, and I'll do so.

So long, for now!

What I learned from my Mom about Motherhood -- part 3

Here's part 3 -- sorry it took so long! I just hope there is someone still reading.

• Know your children. I think this is something my sisters and I all agree we miss most about Mom. We all felt understood by her. She was a great listener -- when we were young, she enjoyed listening to our stories, etc., and when we were older she listened to our problems with friends, adults, etc. Emily and I agree that Mom was a good person to tell your issue to because she did not just automatically be on your team and hate on the person you had a problem with (this is typically my response to my sister's issues, thus making me a not-so-great confidant). Mom had 6 kids, and I can truly say she did everything she could to know each one of us individually. I know some people from large families feel like they got lost in the shuffle -- but that really did not happen to us at all. How do I apply this lesson to mothering Susie? Well, so far, it has played out mostly in how I have worked out her schedule. We have been able to ease into a very good schedule where she pretty much always sleeps through the night by combining things I liked from both Babywise and Attachement Parenting. She is a happy girl, and seems well fed and well rested. There are so many opinions out there, and some people might thing I spoil and coddle my baby too much, while others think I am too strict with my routine. But I know my baby! And I continue to work hard to see what works for us!

• Put your best face forward. Okay, I know I've already tread on rocky ground, here is some potentially rockier ground! But I do think this is a lesson I learned from my mom, so I can't leave it out. In no way do I advocate being focused on the outward appearance -- my mom was adamant that we tell my sisters they were clever and special and kind, not just cute all the time. But she DID do her best to always get us out the door in clothes that were clean, hair that was tidy and faces and hands that were washed. I remember being envious of girls who wore their hair free as a bird, while mine was slicked back into Laura Ingalls braids. :) Mom did not want us to have stringy hair! Looking back, I see what wisdom was in that -- especially for large families. When you have a bunch of kids, it is much more noticeable if they look like ragamuffins! It can be a bad testimony to people who frown on large families because they see messy children and assume that their parents do not care for them. People DO look on the outward appearance, no matter what we think. When your children are small, they have no control over their appearances, so it is up to you to keep them and their clothes clean and teach them to care for their appearances. I know I have only 1 child, but it has to start now -- working hard to get the stains out of baby clothes, bathing regularly, washing the little face that can have a milk mustache or neck that can hold spit up. :) Keep in mind -- the goal of a tidy and lovely bunch of kiddos is not so people will complement their appearances, or to turn their hearts to love beauty, but to keep from being a distraction from what is important about you! And if you are a Christian, you want others to see Christ, not dirt!
  

(The picture I put up here is of Sus with her Aunt Abby at a baseball game. Everything she is wearing is a hand-me down from her cousin Cede.)

I miss my Mom so much. Almost every day a question pops into my head to ask her, before I catch myself. I hope that the lessons I remember from her are helpful to you, too.

Free Stuff Week

My birthday was Sunday, so I decided to give myself a week of free stuff. :) Here's what I've got planned.

Monday: free iced mocha from McDonald's. This is available next Monday as well, if you want to grab one! Just ask at the counter!

Tuesday: free Gymboree class for Susie. We got a free pass from the hospital when Susie was born, so we went today and it was really fun. She was falling asleep at the end, but she was good as gold the whole time. Calm and attentive.

Wednesday: free fountain drink from Speedway.

Thursday: free ice cream from Cold Stone. Sign up for their birthday club and they'll send you a coupon in your e-mail.

Friday: free photo session for Susie at Olan Mills. This was another coupon I got when she was born. It's actually free, even the sitting fee, and you get a new baby portrait package of one pose.

Saturday: free Penn Station sub (they're doing a tell a friend free sandwich promotion via e-mail)

Don't you love getting free stuff?

Here's a picture of my darling Susal getting so big and working on holding up her head.

Eating Zucchini and Picnik

I'll finish the posts on motherhood soon -- I just about have it written in my head -- but in the meantime, I wanted to share a couple things I've been up to lately.

1. Picnik.com is my new favorite website! So easy to use and fun to play around with all the effects you can make on your pictures. I have spent way too much time playing around with cute pictures of the Sus. Here are a few of my favorites.





2. Eating Zucchini! It's that wonderful time of year when this versatile veggie is in abundance! Even if you are not personally growing it in your garden, its likely those who are growing it are sharing it! I just LOVE to eat that stuff!! Of course you can whip up some yummy zucchini bread, or slice it up and use it like chips in dips, hummus or cottage cheese. Last night I made this recipe I saw on Food Network. Here's the simple breakdown:

Cut zucchini, yellow squash and mushrooms into chunks and roast for 15 minutes at 450 degrees with a little olive oil, salt and pepper. Then mix it with cooked penne pasta, a little marinara sauce and cheese (I like lots of cheese). Bake it in a greased casserole dish at 350 for 25 minutes. VERY good!

Another simple casserole that I've made for years when I have an abundance of zucchini is this:

Slice zucchini and summer squash in thin rounds and toss together with a can of Rotel. Bake at 350 until the veggies soften, then top with shredded cheese (I like to use cheddar, but you could use whatever you have) and bake until the cheese is all melted. Yum! My mouth is watering!

If you have any simple ways to enjoy this plentiful veggie, please post in the comments section!

What I Learned from My Mom about Motherhood -- Part 2

Here are a couple more lessons in Mommy-hood 101 I attribute to my mother's diligent teaching. If you are a new reader to my blog, I will tell you that my mom, Sue Benzing, passed away in March. She was a beautiful and wonderful woman, and I'd love it if you'd read more about her by clicking on the "My Mom" tag below. That will take you to the other posts I've written about her.

3. Teach your children to love learning by being a learner yourself. When I was little, my dad gave my mom a Christmas ornament that said "Those who love teaching help others love learning". Did that describe my mom or what!? She was a voracious reader -- books, magazines, signs at the zoo or museum -- and was utterly fascinated in just about everything. Well, I've uncovered a whole new delightful world of beauty in baby books and CDs I've been enjoying with Susie. We read books together after she gets changed, and sometimes at naptime (bedtime is a bit more tearful -- most likely she would not be able to hear me!). I have always loved children's books, but I keep discovering new things -- and especially enjoying books of poetry and prayers. There is something about the rhythm of those books that captures Susie's attention, even at this young of an age. To be brutally honest, I thought I might be a little bored with the sorts of things newborns enjoy -- just waiting for her to get older before it's really fun! But actually, there is plenty of fun stuff now! For instance, this poem I found in Poems to Read to the Very Young that my sister gave me:

Susan Blue by Kate Greenaway

"Oh Susan Blue,
How do you do?
Please may I go for a walk with you?
Where shall we go:
Oh, I know --
Down in the meadow where the cowslips grow!"

Mom used to quote little poems to us all the time. For instance, every time we arrived home after an outing, she would say:

"To market, to market, to buy a fat pig
Home again, home again, jiggity jig!"

By the time my sisters were old enough to know the poem, "jiggity jig" was code for time to go home. :) I now say it all the time to Sus when we arrive home. Which brings me to . . .

4. Enjoy being home with your children. So many moms spend all their time with their children running them in all directions so they can be the best at everything. I know we all had designs on taking every sort of lesson under the sun, and playing every sport possible, but Mom was firm on keeping it simple so we could be home more. We started sports in junior high, and took piano, but since we lived so far out in the country, it would have been a huge time commitment to do much more than that. Mom was not concerned about comparing her little achievers with other kids (which is such a temptation, I've realized already!) -- she wanted us all to enjoy the simplicity of a lovely home, and time spent together. So we all learned how to work in the home, cook, clean, help tend the garden/pool/whatever (depending on the house we lived in). And we learned how great it was to just relax together when Dad came home at the end of the day. So for me, I'm cherishing my maternity leave and the days spent with Susie. It's true that I'm just now feeling enough human to do much more during the day than just care for Sus and get a shower, but I've started to make to-do lists so I can care for our home and make it a lovely and enjoyable place for us to be.

Well, the lessons have continued to come to me, so part 3 is coming soon. In the meantime, stay home and read a book with your kiddos.

What I Learned from My Mom about Motherhood -- part 1

Have you ever opened your mouth and been SHOCKED to hear yourself sound exactly like your mom? Sometimes when people hear themselves parroting Mom, they lament the fact that they now sound old, or that they have started turning into someone they didn't want to turn into! I can't tell you how many times I've heard Mom in my words these past 4 weeks. But I don't groan. I do weep, but I don't lament the way I sound. Here's why: I realize I'm now learning about motherhood without her. So her words -- even in my mouth -- are an assurance that some of those lessons are from her, passed on back from when I was growing up and watching her in her role. Here are a few precious motherhood lessons I am now applying from the school of Sue Benzing.

1. Enjoy your children. There was NEVER a question about how Mom felt about her kiddos! She enjoyed them at every age -- for real! Babies, toddlers, school age, teens -- Mom enjoyed the journey, and found pleasure as we grew and changed. Some of the things she'd say to my sisters (these are my strongest memories, since I was so much older as they were growing up) have popped out of my mouth with Sus. "You are a Dollyanna-Pollyanna!" she'd say when a tiny one was all dressed up -- I've said that to Sus. "Do you want to keep all those dirts?" she'd ask when changing a diaper or washing a face and the child fussed at the process. "You like your dirts? You want to keep them?" So good natured! Not frustrated at that menial task or the unhappy recipient. "You are just being a naughty! I will put you in a garbage can. What color garbage can do you want?" This faceteous question was always posed to a non-speaking baby -- and clearly since the baby could not choose her color of garbage can, she would not be going in one. Mom explained that logic to me -- haha! Mom's words to her children reflected her enjoyment of them. Why be so grouchy? Why not enjoy those precious babe -- even the tougher parts? They are only that age once -- don't long for it to pass! I have reminded myself of this so often when I think ahead to how it will be a bit easier when Sus is a bit less fragile and easier to understand. THIS is today -- enjoy her!

2. Spend time with your children. My mom read to us for hours, when we were very small, and continued when we were older and could read ourselves. When we were tiny she sang songs in baby talk. When we got older, the baby talk did not stop -- and it was a CONSTANT source of humor! Nicknames were abundant (that would be the case for Susan! She probably has a couple dozen nicknames already!!), and silly conversations were entirely engaging for her. I remember Mom giving the girls their bath on the counter in the kitchen and spending forever playing with their hair, making funny styles with the wet hair for our viewing pleasure. She certainly could have rushed through the bath, and bundled the baby off to bed as quick as a wink, but instead, she took her time making it more fun for everyone.

I'll finish with part 2 soon. Unless I hear myself teaching new lessons. :)

Thoughts on Motherhood

18 days into my journey as a mother, I'm loving and appreciating this new role more than I ever thought possible. I'm also more overwhelmed than I ever thought possible. It certainly is a learning game -- I would describe it as starting a new career where you have to learn to do everything the job requires without very much (or mixed) instruction. You obviously can't learn a new job all at once -- it takes a while, and you learn things bit by bit. Here are a few things I have learned, or have been surprised to discover:

1. I do not mind late night feedings. My precious Susan is so wonderful to spend that sweet time with! I do love it that she needs me, and that it's just her and me at that time. I do love it when she goes right back to sleep, too. :)

2. God's design for motherhood is amazing. I am continually surprised by the instincts that have kicked in -- in just a matter of days. I have never been a huge baby person, and everyone assured me it would be different when it was MY baby. They were right! I am humbled to see the way God has designed me.

3. We're taking one day at a time. . . well, it's more like one feeding or nap at a time. I think I could describe my parenting these past 2 weeks as a form of Flexible Attachment Scheduling. :) It's really true that each family has to figure out what works for THEIR child, and their lives together! What a joy to discover, though!

4. The Lord answers the prayer of His child when she prays for wisdom. The other night I was afraid that I was not producing enough milk for Susie (she just seemed really hungry all the time for a couple days, and I was feeding her a lot, but had nothing left!), and we had one particularly difficult evening when I was crying harder than she was. :*) Hormones, grieving for my mom, and sleep-deprivation played into these tears, but as I calmed down, I asked the Lord to give me wisdom -- or show me a good source for wisdom. He graciously provided my cousin Corrie to give me some input on nursing, and several other encouraging people (including my kind husband!) to help me navigate those rocky days. James does say that if we lack wisdom, to ask God for it! THANK goodness!

5. Josh and I are like kids at Christmas with that cute baby! I love sharing the fun with him. We both think she is utterly adorable, and that she already has a fun personality. We're grabbing the camera every 2 seconds -- I see now why there are only 2 million MORE pictures of my brother than there are of me. 2 adults with one baby to watch -- that means there is always one set of hands to be snapping away. :)