Sunday, January 13, 2008

Water Bottle, R.I.P.


Two years ago, at Camp OUTT '06, Marcie Wright donated a large number of huge water bottles to a group of hot, thirsty campers and grown-ups. Christen Taylor and I each snagged one for our own use, since the bottles held more than the daily water needed by a person. Christen would fill hers up at the end of the day and leave it in the freezer at Camp OUTT over night so it would be ice cold all day the next day. I was unwilling to part with mine for so long. Some days I would easily drink 2 bottle's worth. Even after Camp OUTT ended, Water Bottle has been my faithful friend. Much like "Mary's Little Lamb", everywhere I went, the Water Bottle was sure to go.

To work, to church (at least for the ride in the car), on ev
ery shopping venture, of course. I lugged him along with me. And lugged was precisely the word for it. This bottle held 76 oz. of good old H2O. Water Bottle made his way to Word of Life camp in New York, to the Night of Magic in Danville, and of course, to live with us in Louisville. (See below holding down the corner of the blanket in Downtown Danville)

Somewhere along the line, though, things began to go wrong with Water Bottle. Perhaps because I dropped him so many times (he got slippery when condensation formed), or because he'd endured the elements so much, Water Bottle got a teeny-tiny crack in one corner. If he was only half full, it made no difference whatsoever, but most of the time he was dripping, dripping, forming a slow circle of water around him, soaking the carpet, the chair, the floor of the car. I wished it wouldn't happen, but most of the time it was still okay. It just meant I had to stow him under my desk where the carpet could take a bit of a soaking, rather than my desktop where he tended to drench my important paperwork.

Josh had something against Water Bottle. It was like a married couple who does not agree on the treatment of a pet (like Anna and Bob with Rogue). He didn't see why Water Bottle needed to go everywhere with us ("I get thirsty" -- the obvious reply. I'm a drinker. I love beverages). Josh disliked Water Bottle's loud breathing (he tended to let out a huge sigh of air when I finished drinking a long drink) and slow whine (when air was squeaking out of the nozzle). He really disliked Water Bottle rolling around the backseat of the car (he was much too big to just hold on your lap). Josh consistently pointed out the slow demise of Water Bottle, which made me more aware that his days were numbered.

And then I did it. I left Water Bottle at my in-laws at Christmas. Yep. That means I have been without him for all these weeks, just drinking from cups. I actually bought a couple of Desanis at work the other day because I couldn't take it.

I think this means Water Bottle's life is over. I am saying goodbye. Here are some things I will really miss:

1. Constant jokes about Water Bottle. I heard some pretty good ones. One time I was at a picnic and a person thought my bottle was the jug for everyone and began pouring out of the mouthpiece into a cup. I was laughing so hard I couldn't stop them (it was a stranger)! Mrs. Schreiner used to say "Gretchen brought the water for everyone!" When Stuart (at work) used to refill the water cooler, he would walk around with the empty jug and say "I just wanted a water bottle like Gretchen's."

2. Complements about Water Bottle. Sometimes these were tied to jokes, and often came from women. At my fitness class, women would gaze admiringly and say "Wow! Do you drink a whole one of those every day?"

3. The really great little flippy cap that covered up the mouthpiece. I cannot believe I never lost it in the time and travels I spent with Water Bottle. Christen's did not have that little cap, so I knew mine was very special. It was so great for keeping the mouthpiece clean! Kids were constantly touching the little cap of the water bottle and saying "Miss Gretchen, your water is so big!" and I was thinking all the time how glad I was that their little fingers were only on the cap!

It is the end of a chapter in my life. Farewell, Water Bottle. I shall never forget you. In fact, I will now be on the outlook for your successor.

Will you raise a glass of H2O to my dear departed friend?

20 comments:

Heather said...

wow, that's a really long post about a water bottle! Wasn't it Brady who tried to use it at that one picnic we had? I shall miss the hissing breathalizing sound of Mr. Water Bottle! If I ever see one around I'll let you know.

Gretchen said...

Heather,

No, it was that night at Shane's house and guy I didn't know was using it. Kevin was saying "that's hers, that's hers, that's hers" over and over and the guy was not noticing.

And yes, wouldn't you write a long post about your kitty cat? I don't have pets, but I do have a water bottle!

David and Sharon said...

Ahaha! That was a hilarious post, Gretchen! I loved it!
Sharon

Rebecca said...

Gretchen,
What a touching story about an inanimate object!! It was an old friend. I felt the same way when I dropped my camera this past fall. That thing went almost everywhere with me. Maybe you'll find another one some day. :-)

Sara Mincy said...

Good bye, Gretchen's Water Bottle!! You lived a long and useful life :)

You are an inspiration, Gret! Even in this funny post, I am reminded to drink more water !!!

Morning Rose said...

Farewell, Water Bottle. We have two Tupperware sports bottles, two Tupperware insulated cups, and two Trek water bottles. We usually take at least one with us everywhere too.

Molly Carlisle said...

i must say, i just shed a tear over your loss. i too lost my water bottle this past year. it's been rough, and i still haven't replaced it.

MadMup said...

I am so amused by the prospect of Josh making jokes about the Water Bottle that I, too, am now sad for its loss!

James and Christen said...

Gretchen,
What a hilarious blog. Loved it! I can so relate to Josh's comments because I made the same comments to Christen about the bottle having to go everywhere(her reply was the same as yours-"I get thirsty"), the loud breathing and slow whine, and the rolling in the car. I think Christen's died too because I haven't seen it for quite a while now. Somehow I don't miss it:)
James

James and Christen said...

Thank you for the smile today! I needed to laugh so much.

I am sorry for your sad farewell. I had to say farewell to mine when it wouldn't fit into my suitcase to Brazil. I am sure if you were me, it would have just walked on board with you!

My water bottle traveled with me across many states and at one time did have that cool little flip top. (my kids helped me lose it.)

Sorry I missed you on Saturday. I would have LOVED to talk. Let me know what evenings you are at home and I will try to give you a call.

Thanks friend, Christen

Emily said...

Gretchen.....that is extremely sad. I will miss it rolling around by feet everytime I go somewhere with you. It was like the best thing ever though, because you know how we are...every candy season.(Christmas, Halloween, Easter, Valentine's) we have to snag a bag of sweet treats. but somehow it escapes our mind to buy drinks so on the way home from Champaign we all of a sudden realize how thirsty we are from all of the dove hearts, or starburst jelly beans, we could just take a drink from the never-ending founatain of water.
ha....
oh I will be sorrowful for that water bottle's passing. It was almost as much a part of you as your hair..ha..
-emily.

JoelandRachel said...

You are so funny! Yes, you will have to find another one. I wonder where they sell them?

Anonymous said...

oh my Gretchen, I am dying with laughter!! Josh hating it is funny.

Anna

Shane and Devin said...

Oh Gret, that was hilarious.

I too, have a water bottle friend I am so fond of.....I got it in the hospital when I had my first son over 4 years ago.

It has since been retired, but I was able to snag a few more when I had #2 and #3....I don't know what I would do without them!

Thanks for the laugh!

Stuart said...

I am sorry for water bottle but overwhelmingly glad I was mentioned on Gretchen's blog...

G-Knee said...

Oh my word... Gret - you need to write that as a story and sell it to college campuses...

Elise said...

hehehee!!! That was adorable :)

jillybean said...

Hi-Larious! You are great!

Sarah: said...

I am really thirsty right now...:-)
I am saddened by this loss, dear old water recepticle. Any friend of Gretchen's is a friend of mine, after all. I hope you will find a new companion soon. (By the way, I think Josh was just jealous of how useful and content the water bottle was......)

And Gret, where will you be the end of February? I need to know....

Name: Karen said...

This post made me smile today. Thanks Gretchen.

By the way, we are all drooling over here over your game of Dutch Blitz in one of the first couple pictures.

Karen