On Being Happy

A catholic teenage boy that I know from the bookstore, commented on this picture of me with this statement: "You are always in such a good mood! I wish I could be happier more often." I was totally caught off guard by that remark (after all, doesn't everyone smile in pictures?) and it started me thinking about being in a "good mood".

I realized I am, quite often, happy! I prayed and asked the Lord for a way to reply to this kid, and how my deep joy and it's outflowing of happiness might be a way I could minister to him.
The Lord, being so wonderful, gave me an answer. Not with my words, but with His:

In Psalm 21, David says "for You have made the King most blessed forever (or a source of blessing forever), You make him glad with the joy of Your Presence." Blessed is another word for "happy". So when we say the Lord is blessed, we mean He is happy! I personalized this verse for myself: You have made me most happy, and a source of happiness forever; You make me glad with the joy of Your Presence.

Oh, that I might be a source of happiness -- not trite, glib, shallow thoughts, but deeply wrought joy -- to everyone around me! And that my delight might point all who are affected by it to the Happiest of Beings!

Family Pictures

Here are some family pictures that we had taken with Josh's family a month or two ago. I really liked the way they turned out, thanks to digital cameras that lets everybody see how they looked right away! The group one is my favorite. I think it is so funny to live in a family where everyone is adults! I know that won't last forever!

I know I am blessed to get along so well with my in-laws. Josh's sisters are some of my best friends, and I know that Josh's respect for his parents and family have made it easy for them to accept me -- the first outsider to marry in! So this is the Neisler family (although, they are not all Neislers anymore). The back row is Ryan (Jerry), Josh's only brother and the baby of the family, Aaron, Melissa (Josh's next youngest sibling and Aaron 's wife), Kari (the middle of the fam), and her hubby Lukas, then Josh on the end. On the bench is Laura (in the yellow) who is Ryan's twin, Josh's mom, Lennis, and his dad, Gary, then me! I think this will be a fun picture to show the kids one day, of when we were all young and fun! :)

The Myth of Boredom

Lately I have been fed up with hearing the kids and teens (and even some adults!) around me talk about being "bored". I just got a mass-forwarded message from a girl in our youth group that said she was bored and invited anyone to come make cookies with her, or do anything (and it got rather racy after that), as long as it entertained her.

WHAT? You are telling me that in our world where millions of people are screaming for aid, we here in America are so spoiled that we are sitting around throwing a tantrum and screaming for entertainment? This is just a symptom of the epidemic of selfishness that we are happily feasting upon. We help ourselves to Narcissism by posting pictures of ourselves on My Space or Facebook, hoping that people will post about how lovely we are. We analyze and typify our "look" and do everything we can to be unique with our overly casual clothing from Abercrombie (et al). We eat and drink and watch and listen to whatever we want, whenever we want. And then. . . we are bored.

It is such a mockery of what we are created for! Of course we are bored! God did not create us to make much of ourselves, but to make much of HIM! I mostly find myself bored when I have run out of things to do that serve myself, and I am usually putting off what I really need to be doing. The next time we feel bored, we ought to fall on our faces in repentance and ask the Lord to inspire us with a joyful service for Him!

Here are some ideas (this is what I replied to the girl in my youth group): read your Bible (or read it again, or start a new study in it), paint a picture that characterizes an attribute of God, ask a family member or neighbor if they need help with anything, read a book, write a letter, play a game with a child, pray for unsaved friends, contemplate a way you can save money (or make money) to help a really unfortunate portion of the world's population, such as AIDS orphans, research an organization that works to rescue girls from the brothels in Bombay, go for a run, clean something, go through your stuff and get rid of a bunch of it. . . the list goes on and on.

Simple Things

I am such a sucker for simple, clean, organized tricks and tools. Right now, as I am going through every drawer and cupboard, trying to make it easier on us when we move, I have been pondering the materialism that is so prevelent in our life.

I am attempting to purge our lives of junk, clutter, and the need for STUFF. But it's funny how often thoughts creep in my mind while I'm cleaning like "I really need to buy this cool bin, or those nice hangers, or this fancy cleaning product". Sometimes I catch myself in these thoughts, and it dawns on me -- "this is JUST what I'm trying to get away from!" So what is it, exactly, that attracts me to those simple, cool things?

Pretty much the same pride-of-life materialistic motives that motivates a mother to spend hundreds of dollars to wardrobe her child in Oililly clothing: a love for things, and finding my identity in the things I have. What is the good of purging the stuff out of your life if your motive is to accumulate better, and cooler stuff? It is the same trap, falling into bondage to wanting more.

I don't want more. I want less. Simplicity just for the sake of a simple image, is no gain at all! "Heaven and earth shall pass away, but My Word will not pass away." I want to purge my life not only of the mess and clutter of my home, but also purge my heart of evil desires to build my own kingdom. Purify my heart, Lord! Make me sensitive to those unclean motives as they crop up. Further instill in me a burning desire to make Your Name great, and lose my identity in You!

Lifesong

This morning I went for a run and I was listening to my MP3 player that Josh got me for my birthday. Besides being able to power myself a little faster because of the upbeat tempo of the songs, I was able to "transcend" above just a common outing -- and into a true time of worship.

The sun was streaming beautifully in the late summer sky. The trees were lush and green, at the peak of their summer glory -- magnifying God with every leaf. The song I was listening to was "Lifesong" by Caedman's Call in which the refrain "let my lifesong sing to you!" is sung over and over. I truly felt that the work of my muscles and sweat on my skin was singing to the Almighty God above, because my thoughts were so stayed upon Him, and I was so thouroughly happy in those thoughts. I wasn't thinking about my strides, pace, breathing; I wasn't stuck dwelling on my body and how out of shape it is. I was just glorying in Christ. And then I realized. I couldn't hear the sound of my footsteps. I couldn't hear myself breathe. I was able to break into a HUGE sprint right at the end, and sense nothing except the words of the song, and speed of the wind on my face. It was amazing! The closest I have felt to flying!

It dawned on me that our Christian life would be just like that -- we would be able to go for tireless sprints -- if we could completely block ourselves out of our minds! I think I get more and more muddled when I am over-self-analyzing. Trying to be "perfect" is so secondary to just worshipping the One who is Delightfully Perfect!

Reflections of His Holiness

This summer I have been teaching the girls in our youth group for Sunday school. We have been learning the attributes of God (not exhaustively or in any specific order), and then doing some art projects to illustrate angles of those attributes. Tomorrow is the last day, and we are having an art show after the church service to show what everyone has made. I am excited about the drawings and paintings that the girls have produced, but even more excited about the thoughts that go through their heads as they are creating them. These art projects can be acts of worship!

I have been thinking about God's Holiness, because that is the last attribute we will cover together. " 'To whom will you compare Me? Or who is My equal' says the Holy One," it says in Isaiah 40:25. And I have to answer, NO-ONE!! No-one is almighty like God. No-one is Eternal like God. No-one is Omniscient like God. No-one is Good like God. No-one is Glorious like God. He is incomprehensible. I reflect on the attributes of God that He displays in His word, and I cannot contain the whole of them!

For instance, last week we studied "wrath" and the story of Soddom and Gomorrah. I had never noticed that when the men are urging Lot to flee at once "but he lingered. So the men siezed him and his wife and his daughters by the hand, the Lord being merciful to him, and they brought him out." (italics mine) In the midst of studying the WRATH of God, we see His MERCY! He is altogether unlike anything else.

I love the story in Isaiah 6 when Isaiah sees the Lord and the Seraphim crying "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty; the whole earth is filled with His glory." I can't imagine being Isaiah, shaking and trembling from having his lips touched with the burning coal, most likely lying flat on his face. . . and he hears the voice of the Lord saying "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" Because he has seen his Holiness, Isaiah bursts out "Here am I!!!!! Send me!!!"

Capping off the summer

Josh and I just returned from a week with our teens at the headquarters of Child Evangelism Fellowship in Missouri. We had a great week working hard along side the kids!

As you know, I read quite a bit, and this week was no exception. I want to share some of the books I read and things I learned from them.

Let me start with Sold! I sat up half the night reading, and then weeping over this book. It tells the story of a girl in Nepal who is sold by her stepfather into the sex trade and then transported to India. I normally would shy away from a book like that, but it was written for teens, and the author had researched the topic thoroughly, even going so far as to travel to India and interview survivers from the Brothels. I couldn't believe that before I read this book I was totally unaware of this HUGE global issue, and all I wanted to do was HELP! I felt shallow, silly, selfish, gluttonous, rich and conceited. I have been searching ever since to find a Christian organization that specifically targets rescuing girls from the brothels and evangelizing them and teaching them a trade that will enable them to make something with what is left of their lives. I am having a hard time finding such an organization! Is it possible that that is an unchartered mission field?

Then I finished Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper. I cannot recommend this book enough! I finished reading it and wanted to PURGE my life of all the unecessary garbage, and PLUNGE headfirst into adoring and savoring Christ supremely! I could go on forever, putting huge quotes from the book, but instead I will just put one short one: "So I urge you in the name of Jesus, to wake up, and enlarge your heart, and stretch your mind and spread your wings, mount up above your limited life and see the great and thrilling big picture of God's global purposes for the history of the world."

Endeavoring to do a Proper Review

It has been several days since I finished David Copperfield, so I have had a bit of time to mull it over, consider my overall opinion, and formulate a review. I do not think it would be worth my time to rewrite what everyone else already has written on the topic, but I will try to make a proper review of it (though it will mostly just be opinion).

I will say from the start, that I liked the book. It was certainly not my favorite Dickens (keeping with what I said in an earlier post); Nicholas Nickleby was. It did, however deliver strongly in the character department. Good characters nearly equal good books to me. Anyone who has read any Dickens, or even seen "A Christmas Carol" knows that characterization is Dicken's strong suit. My favorite character was Agnes, the good, calm, patient, loving, "good angel" in David Copperfield's life, the girl who he loved as his sister all the way through the book until the very end, when he realizes his love for her. I highly value books in which there are characters that are perfect, or apparently so, because I believe that we all have a craving inside of us for goodness and perfection -- due to the craving we have for the goodness and perfection of Christ.

I always find a character that I relate with, or see myself as, and it certainly was not Agnes. I felt more like David's eccentric, spinster Aunt Betsey Trotwood, who comes on the scene with a splash. I thought she was going to somehow be the villain, but she actually is David's savior when he is orphaned and his stepfather sends him away to work. Aunt Betsey takes David in (after he has run away to find this aunt he has never met), stands up to his evil Stepfather, and his sister and henceforth devotes herself to his welfare, education and "mothering". (Even though she is not very motherly). She names him Trotwood after herself, and calls him that the rest of her life. She is very strong and outspoken, the strongest good female character I have read of Dickens. She readily advises men as to what to do with themselves, and on the whole everyone respects her and heeds her council. Her husband had left her very early in life, and married another woman, but still has some bit of power over her, because she supports him financially throughout the book. This is something she keeps secret from David until after her husband has died. It is interesting to see that such an independent woman has defects of "an undisciplined heart".

David is an endearing main character. The story is told in first person, so the reader is all too familiar with David's shortcomings and foolishness. Several anecdotes made me laugh out loud -- such as the scene where 17-year-old David is daydreaming about 30-year-old Miss Black, wishing her house could catch on fire just so he can rescue her, and go back in for something she forgot and then die while she is watching. Ha ha! Because you know David's faults (the undisciplined heart chief among them), you can appreciate it so much more as he matures and becomes a wise patron to everyone around him. He is famous and wealthy, but so generous and loving!

David Copperfield was a little darker than Nicholas Nickleby, and lacked a strong underdog character to pour your sympathies upon. I cannot imagine loving a character as I loved Smike in NN, so that may be just as well. Nonetheless, I enjoyed DC as an engaging, not to say, compelling read. In short -- (as Mr. Micawber would say), if you can bear up under several technical and dull passages, endure through a bit of wandering plot and avoid paper cuts from the 806-plus pages, you may find this book quite delightful!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today I am 28 years old. I love my birthday. It makes me feel reflective. And today was just the way I would want to spend my birthday. We had our last weekly meeting of Camp OUTT, so I played outside with a huge gang of kids, sweaty hot, and so much fun! Two kids came to talk to me about being saved today, and though I don't pretend to fully understand the movement of the Holy Spirit, I did what I believe was the best, and prayed with them for salvation. So AWESOME! Only God sees their hearts, but it was special! Also, this afternoon, I read for about and hour the last 5 chapters of The Silver Chair. How exciting! I do not get time, usually to fully read out loud to my heart's content, but twenty-plus kids were absolutely hanging onto every word! If you have read it, you know what exciting parts come in those last five chapters, allowing for the use of some pretty great reading voices!

These are pictures of me with the best present I could ever get for a birthday -- an autographed book from Elisabeth Elliot! I wrote her a letter telling her a bit about how her writing has impacted my spiritual walk, and she signed this book for me, and replied to me with a personal letter as well as a suggested reading list! AUGH! I simply adore reading lists! If you look closely at the top picture, you can see her darling shaky handwriting. I was so thrilled, I wept!

So, another year. And this year, I begin with an intense longing for heaven. For Jesus. It seems to be on my mind more. In what I read, in songs I hear. With thinking about Ed Horn, and others whose lives here on earth are over. Sometimes, though I feel like I am still so young, I begin to think that I cannot take this waiting much longer!

Excellent Classic

Last summer I devoted myself to reading a thick classic, and entirely enjoyed Nicholas Nickleby. So this summer, even though I am trying to read 25 books (as a part of my 100 books this year), I am determined to read another Dickens' classic, David Copperfield. (BTW, blogger does not have up the options for italics right now).

This book is wonderful! I am about 1/6 through it right now, but it is profound and funny, and delightful in every way! Dickens is my new second favorite writer (no one passes up Elisabeth Elliot on the top of the list). I totally commend David Copperfield to you (though Nicholas Nickleby is holding out as better at this point. Of course I have 5/6 more to change my mind!), even if you don't have a lot of time to dedicate to reading. A few pages a day, a chapter or so, is so delightful, refreshing, and worthwhile! And be sure to read a copy that has the original illustrations in it, because they are so precious, and add to the character of the story.

Now, someone just needs to make a movie about David Copperfield that is as great as Nicholas Nickleby!

One More Cool Picture!

A Loooooooong Journey

Here are some pics from our recent trip to upstate NY for Word of Life Camp with our youth group. We had 42 people traveling in 4 different vehicles, which is sort of a rest stop train wreck. You can imagine how long every stop was just getting in and out.

We really enjoyed a relaxed 6 days once we got up there, though. The bottom right picture is a view from our cabin that we stayed in. It was so pretty and serene. What I enjoyed most was sitting on the dock with my feet in clean, clear Schroon Lake, reading my Bible or a good book. I read so much more than I expected to on that trip, and I actually ran out of books (should've taken David Copperfield as a back-up). Word of Life had some pretty good book stores, which I made use of, and continued reading.

One of the biggest benefits for our youth group on a trip like this is the way they all grew together. I was very impressed as they were super flexible and patient with each other on such a looooong drive! Also, it was a good way for the kids who don't come to youth group super often to be able to mesh with the other kids. We have already seen some of the fruit of this -- after 10 days, you really can't be an outsider any more!

I am a little sad thinking that we won't be the youth leaders here next year, in charge of that trip again. Not that I'd be up for it again any time soon, but it was certainly a good memory. I guess we'll just have to see how the Lord will use us after we move to Kentucky!

Camp OUTT over

I am quite behind in finishing up about Camp OUTT, but not because it isen't close to my heart! I wish camp lasted all summer and that I could feel like I was utilizing every breath and every sweat gland to serve the Lord! :) A graphic thought, I know, but so true!
Full time camp has ended, so now all we have is a weekly Wednesday camp, which is such small fries in comparison!
We ended up having a multitude of spiritual talks with our campers, and one boy was saved! It was a wonderful afternoon, in that final week! My co-worker, Christen, had been praying so hard for a kid to be ready, and she felt strongly that this boy (we'll call him B) was ready! We had lots of one-on-one conversations with kids who weren't ready. But you just have to trust Jesus that we planted seeds and tried to be faithful with presenting the word.
Update on Leo . . . we had trouble, trouble, trouble with him, including a VERY strenuous after noon with Daniel (teen helper) and I both restraining him from destroying property, and he was still fighting against us, trying to kick and bite us. It's like when the rage takes over, there is nothing else. He is very loving usually. I have a sore place in my heart each time I think of him, because I feel so bad about how horrible his home life is, and we had to kick him out for a couple of days. But I know the Lord gave us wisdom when we needed it, and He will be faithful to water whatever seed was planted in his heart. (though the haunting thought of him bawling "I wanna come back tomorrow! I'll be good! I have FUN here!" is enough to send ME to tears!

Praise the Lord for His blessings and mercy! I wish I had a hundred summers to have Camp OUTT! Thank you, Jesus for such an excellent and dynamic staff! Christen and Mandy sacrificed so much to help me, and Emily, Daniel, Caleb, Brittany, and Mariah worked so hard without complaint! Everybody should have such a great team as this! Also, Josh and James took a load off us by preparing lessons and trekking over each morning to preach to the kids! It was excellent content on the "Hidden Treasures" -- parables that explain salvation. I loved the way it was evangelistically focused in a new and refreshing way!

So, even though Camp OUTT is not TOTALLY over, I feel a sense of peace that Christ has been present and actively in charge, utilizing this ministry for His glory!

First Week of Camp

The real point of this post is not about books for once, but to document the first week of Camp OUTT (which stands for Opening Up to Truth) -- the day camp I am running this month out of my church. We had a really great first week! Our team of staff was really united, and I think the kids are already impacted by the love we have given them. We mostly have unsaved and/or unchurched kids (there are a few exceptions). Most of them are from broken homes, some of which are pretty terrible.

Of course, we have had a handful of discipline problems, but far less than you would imagine. Please pray for a boy who I will call Leo. He is bipolar, and from the roughest background. He is only 8, and can switch to a very violent temper pretty quickly. He prayed to be saved with one of the counselors this week, but it is hard to know how real that might have been (though he did initiate the conversation!). He has been battling with his will and anger since then, and I have been encouraged by his breakthroughs. When you are dealing with kids who have never had ANY discipline in life before, you really have to train them to think totally differently! That is a long road to haul. Hopefully, next week I will post a couple of pictures.

I am a little stiff, sunburned and sore in my muscles that I haven't used in a while, but overall filled with great peace about all of our efforts this week. It is such a blessing to pour out every minute of each day as an offering to the Lord -- so satisfying to utterly use up your resources and strength serving Him!

Happy Anniversary, Josh and Gretchen!

I convinced my husband to let me post a picture on my blog! This is an appropriate one of us together, even though it was kind of a while ago (Thanksgiving), because we just got back from celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary! Josh offered to take me to a REALLY good Italian place, even though pasta isn't his favorite (yet he got pasta, and I got a salad and bread). Josh is so selfless and generous to me, and it is wonderful to reflect on how we have grown together in Jesus these past years!

Guess what we bought for ourselves on our anniversary? You got it, books! We bought The Civil War by Shelby Foote, but only volume 2 and 3. That was all they had on the clearance rack at Barnes and Noble, but we saved a total of $80 off the cover price! :) Those will have to go on my next years' reading list, because they are FAR too long for this year (I am trying to read 100 books I have never read this year, so far I have finished 51. But that's another post).

Da Vinci No-Brainer

I read The Da Vinci Code over the holiday weekend, so I feel the need to write a review of the bestseller on my blog. I so dislike discussing books that I did not enjoy, because it takes more time than it is worth, but I must be totally honest!

I don't claim to be a genius, or the most well-read person around, but characters of this book were so thin and the plot so obvious, that I had to deduce that this book sold millions of copies based solely on its controversial subject matter. The author, Dan Brown did nothing to endear the reader to his hero and heroine, at least not in my opinion (but that may be because I read so many children's books, and half the point of those is to make the reader LOVE the main characters).

I cannot imagine that a Christian who truly has a thriving relationship with his Lord could in any way be shaken by the fallacies presented as "fact" in this novel, but the content that I most have issue with is the pagan religion so advocated by the characters (and thus the author). I have never seen an addiction to sexuality so cleverly disguised as something wholesome -- even as worship. Brown constantly explains symbols found all around -- in nature, in architecture, in art -- as all representing some body part, or the "worship" of the woman's body and her ability to reproduce. It was disgusting!

The main benefit of this book (at least from the author/publisher's standpoint) is that I now am curious about the movie. I just couldn't picture dear Tom Hanks as the role of Robert Langdon, so I guess I will go see it!

Finally, here are a few questions I would love to discuss with someone else who may have read the book (or seen the movie, I guess).

1. Why didn't Sophie's grandfather raise her to believe in his religion? He was obviously devoted to it-- the Grand Master. She is so clueless about EVERYTHING he believed in!
2. Why does a religion devoted to the "sacred feminine" have almost ONLY male Grand Masters through history? If woman is so divine, she should pretty much always be the one in control, huh?
3. Why are many people in history who believe in goddess worship homosexuals, as the author tells us? If the whole point of those pagan beliefs are the balance of man and woman, the yin and yang, the chalice and the blade, then why would those people live their lives in this unbalanced way?

Please post if you know what I'm talking about! :)

Getting Started with Summer Reading

I wanted to start a blog so I could be cool like everyone else! My husband started his blog almost a year ago, so I have a lot of catching up to do.

I hope some of my friends will post on my blog about books they are reading, and take some of the suggestions I give about books! I feel like I read 24/7, hence the name of my blog!

Right now, I am in the middle of an excellent Elisabeth Elliot (favorite author!) book called Secure in the Everlasting Arms. It is devotional in nature, and if you have read Elliot at all, you can appreciate the gentle yet profound wording in her unique stories. I especially appreciate the eloquent prayers from persons in history that she ends many of her short chapters with. Here is one that just jumped out at me, it was so beautiful! I hope you will pray this also!

Lord, I know not what I ought to ask of Thee; Thous only knowest what I need; Thou lovest me better than I know how to love myself. O Father! Give to Thy child that which he himself knows not how to ask. I dare not ask either for crosses or consolations; I simply present myself before Thee, I open my heart to Thee. Behold my needs which I know not myself; see and do according to Thy tender mercy. Smite or heal; depress me or raise me up; I adore all Thy purposes without knowing them; I am silent; I offer myself in sacrifice; I yeild myself to Thee; I would have no other desire than to accomplish Thy will. Teach me to pray. Pray Thyself in me. Amen.

On a lighter note, here are the absolute BEST children's books for you to read this summer. Yes, you, grown-up person! The Penderwicks by Jeanne Birdsall and Gone-Away Lake by Elizabeth Enright. Be a kid and read something really fun! Please post if you read these and love them as much as I do!