Friday, January 26, 2007

Are Roll Calls a Sin?

I am torn between thinking roll calls are narcissistic and self-centered and the desire to have one myself. Since I have quite dear friends who have done this, and I didn't think they were rotten people, but instead wonderful, spirit-led people who don't heap praise unto their own name, I think I will do likewise. So here I am. Where are you?

Please leave me a comment if you read my blog! I will be in my "prayer closet" asking the Lord to protect me from prideful feelings. :)

To lighten the mood of the roll call, please leave me a REALLY corny joke along with your comment. I think that would make it fun!

Here's one to get us started (warning, very corny alert!): What do you say to a hitch-hiker with one leg? Hop in!


Anonymous said...

I'm here...I read...Love the blog...Love you! And maybe sometime we can talk on the phone and I'll tell you what inspired MY roll call...unfortunately, it didn't work in the way I thought it would...but I'm glad to have picked up a couple stragglers :) I hope you can do the same!

Anonymous said...

What's a roll call??

And those biscuits on my blog are the ones you'll be seeing tomorrow night!

Anonymous said...

Hi Gretchen! I'm here and I read your blog regularly. As for a corny joke....What's the difference between illegal and unlawful?

Illegal is a sick bird!

Dumb, I know, but you asked for it.

Anonymous said...

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"

(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)

You asked, I complied. Happy roll call!

Anonymous said...


I just came from Amy's blog & your comment triggered a memory. I had forgotten that we were in Pygmalion together. It was such a nice memory. I also played Motherly Kanga in her recital with you.

Amber said...

I check it from time to time also, but I'm terrible at jokes... I could sit here all day and not think of a single funny thing to say! But I do enjoy reading your blogs!

Anonymous said...

I love reading your blog. You're so fun and full of life(and so are your posts). I love that. Miss you.

The early bird gets the worm BUT the SECOND mouse gets the cheese.

I like to use this quote whenever someone is telling me how great the early morning is. It's not really corny, sorry.

Anonymous said...

I enjoy reading your blog. My boys like this one-liner: "What happens if you are scared half to death twice?"

Anonymous said...

Found this one in a pack of Bazooka gum: What kind of flower grows between your nose and your chin?


I read your blog periodically and love your godly attitude and perspective. Thanks for letting me drop by!

megan said...

i am just answering your roll call. i can't think of any joke except, "why did the chicken cross the road?" Talk about old and corny!!!! :)

bookpress said...

Well we've not met, so I would have ignored the roll call if not for the call for corny jokes. As an attorney, I have the right to ask: What's the difference between a bad lawyer and a good lawyer?

A bad lawyer can make your case drag on for years. A good lawyer can make it last until the beach house and the yacht are paid for.

megan said...

i found a better corny joke:
why did the apple turn red?
Because she saw the salad dressing!

Anonymous said...

oh man! I forgot to give a joke!!!

Q: Where does a King keep his armies?

A: Up his Sleevies.

Q: How do you make a kleenex dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it.

Anonymous said...

I cracked up at g-knee's "boogie" joke, but then again, I have an odd sense of humor...

Joke: If you're canoeing down the street and the doors fall off, how many pancakes does it take to stuff a doghouse?
Answer: None, because snakes don't have ears!

Gretchen said...

I love all the jokes, you guys! I am checking this really quickly while at home on my lunch break. Now I'm armed with some really good ones. (Geen, I must admit you have one of the best! Why do boogey jokes seem so funny? I must be really crass).

Thanks to all of you for your response!

Anonymous said...

Okay Gretchen - It's corny, but you have to picture the kid....Kindergartener, boy named Matthew can't say k,g, or r - but always has a joke up his sleeve. Picture Macally Kaulcun (totally misspelled to be sure)

Why touldn't (couldn't)the piwate (pirate) doe (go) to the movie?

It was waited (rated) awwwl. (R)

Love ya, girly. Thanks for cheering us on - you're a HUGE encouragement. Hey, maybe this summer we'll meet up at the outlets. You can push 2 and I'll push 2. =) Jaimie and I have met there numerous times - it's a great 1/2 way point.

Jen the Mama Hen

Anonymous said...

Sorry this isn't a stupid joke, but it is a funny one, true too!

Tom Brady died and went to heaven. God was showing him atound and brought him to a cute little house with a faded Patriots flag flying in the front yard. God said, "Tom this is your homes." Not far away Tom saw a HUGE mansion with HUGE Colts flags and everything was beautiful and perfect (and all about the Colts) Tom said "God, I am not complaining about my house, but I was just curious, Why did Peyton Manning get such a big, beautiful house? I won 2 Super Bowls and all is get is a faded flag. Then God smiled at Tom and said, "That isn't Peyton's house, that is MY house!" See even GOD is a Colts fan!!!

Surely, you aren't cheering for "Da Bears"

Kepp is the only way I know what is going on in your life! Maybe now that you only live 1 1/2 away, you will visit!
Your fav cousin on your mom's side!

mitchells2000 said...

Gretchen - I check your blog almost daily. It was great to get together with you, we'll have to do it again sometime. Just let me know when you get free time!

What did the snail say when riding on the back of a turtle?

I remember hearing this joke one night at college in the middle of pulling an almost all-nighter. It was pretty funny at 2:30am! :-)

Anonymous said...

Gretchen, I am one of your biggest fans!!!

OK- I just stole this from the Reader's Digest...

Q: What did the gingerbread man put on his bed
A: Cookie sheets

Gretchen said...

Jen, NO JOKE! I've heard a kid with a lisp tell that joke too! There is almost nothing funnier to me than mispronouncing things! Misspellings are also pretty funny. I'd LOVE to push 2 for you!!

Rach, no way, go Colts!

Heather, I remember a LOT of thing seemed funny in the middle of an all-nighter.

Sara -- I'm one of YOUR biggest fans! :)

Mandy said...

"knock, knock?"

"whose there?"


"orange who?"

"orange you glad I read your blog?"

Well, I am! And I'm glad you've done several since you've been gone. It helps us not to miss you so much. (as Charity would say!) hehe.

steph9274 said...

Hey Gret-
What do you call a horse out at midnight? A nightmare!

Two silk worms are in a race - what is the outcome? A tie!


Anonymous said...

Hi Gretchen. This is Tancy. I don't know if you remember me or not, but I read your blog quite often myself.

Corny joke... I guess I don't have one.

Nice to *see* you.
btw... I am absolutely jealous of your working at the Lifeway store. We have been in SBC churches for many years and enjoy their resources. I shop their website often too.

Anonymous said...

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who sits on a pulpit?

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who get pulled behind a boat?

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs and sits in a hole?

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs and hangs on the wall?

I have a terrible time remembering jokes and I have a corny sense of humor. I love Bob Hope movies and meeting Dr. Hershberger in the hallway.

Anonymous said...

Q: What does Norman Bates do for Mother's Day?

A: He shaves!

(Too gross? Not corny enough?)

Anonymous said...

I read you too, babe. My joke:

Q: How do you encourage a Baptist pastor?
A: Raise a hand during the invitation.

Q: How do you SCARE a Baptist pastor?
A: Raise BOTH hands during the singing!

Gretchen said...

Mandy, it helps me not be missed so much. . . :)

Steph -- is this Steph T? Why the code name?

Tancy -- I do remember you, of course! Thanks, I do enjoy working there. I respect the kind of great stuff they try to promote!

Coach -- you win the "I laughed out loud award". And it was about bumping into Dr. Hershberger in the hallway! :) HEE HEE!!!!

Mup -- a little too gross

Josh -- let's act that one out sometime soon.

Anonymous said...

Sorry :(

Setrn said...

Sorry, not good with jokes, but I am SO jealous about how many answered your roll call!

Oh and "Bookpress" you have probably met Gret, it was just A LONG time ago ;)

Anonymous said...

I'm here....I have just been trying to remember a joke. I cannot for the life of me remember jokes! And I am certainly not as funny as my husband. :-)
So I went to our trusty copy of "The World's Greatest Collection of Knock-Knock Jokes and Tongue Twisters" is my contribution:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My panther.
My panther who?
My panther falling down. I need a belt.

Hilarious, I know. But you should not ask such things of us, Gret.

Anonymous said...

Ok, here's the only joke I can think of right now. Sorry to the blondes of the world.

What do you call this: "Vroom-screetch, vroom-screetch, vroom-screetch"

A blonde at a blinking red light!

Ha ha ha! :)

Greaci said...

What did one eye say to the other eye? There's something between us that smells!

This one's from Collin:
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
"U-nique" up on him!
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
The "tame" way, "tilly!"

I stole the first joke from him too:) He's so funny!

We miss you tons! I can't imagine how bad it would be without your blog to keep us connected. By the way I did know it was you on my blog because of your avatar.

Gretchen said...

Sarah, Whatever! I just wanted my comments to be more than "I read you", so I asked for a joke. Actually some are REALLY funny!

Kell, Hey, you aren't always around. Wasn't sure how busy you were with school and all. Thanks for commenting

Staci, HA HA!!! Tell Collin I said those were GREAT!

Hindto said...

Avid reader now that I've found you...but Im sorry....not good w/jokes.

Anonymous said...

Hey Gretchen, I'm a little late posting this, but I do read your blogs and I really enjoy them. So glad you guys seem to be doing well in Louisville. You're closer to us now! Yay!
Love, Sharon Taylor