After a week of working in a very public setting, and endeavoring to befriend and serve person after person in a Christ-like manner, and after having many of those people respond to me in a positive manner, I'd begun to develop a certain mindset about myself. Adding into that mindset was a phone call and interview with Pottery Barn Kids in which they sought me out to work for them part time (and expressed interest in having me full time if I were interested). I was told that one of the managers just really liked me and wanted me to work for them there. So unknowingly, I was developing this mindset.
This was my mindset: I'm pretty good with people. I kind of know what to say.
But my Precious Father did not let me stay ignorant to my heart condition for long. I cracked open my One Year Bible and read about Moses pleading with the Lord over his commission to speak to Pharaoh. He is apparently the opposite of me, and does not want to go and speak. But the Lord addresses me and Moses with the same applicable words: "Who makes a person's mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what you say."
So here is what I realized: God is sovereign over my words. Of course He is! He has made my mouth. He has instructed me in what I say. Do I actually believe this? Or do I continue in sin, refusing to bow my head and humble myself? How sincerely do I believe my theology? I pray that God will grant me grace to make my view of His sacred place of honor play out in every aspect of my life, knowing that a day of good work and meeting good people is a mercy from Him! Oh God! Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in THY sight, Oh, Lord, my Strength and my Redeemer!
12 comments:
good post Gretchen! I am the same way...it is so easy to get prideful over stuff that God allows! THANK YOU GOD!!!! Please forgive us for taking the credit!
Take encouragement that I will be praying for you daily, particularly in regard to what you wrote in this entry and how that plays out in your life practically.
You really are a kindred spirit, and it's been refreshing to be in proximity to a sister who is so like-minded and passionate. Grace and peace~
Gret:
You have given me a wonderful question to ponder: "How sincerely do I believe in my theology?" Hmmm, I wonder sometimes.
Thank you for so openly sharing your heart with all of us!
P.S. Collin left you a few jokes on your last post. I know you can picture the delivery! he loves to make people laugh!
Gret - thanks...I had to share this as I was thinking about it with my small group in Jr. High yesterday.
We studied Daniel 1 to take about self-control...but what stuck out to me...was that Daniel took care of his business (verse 8) regardless of what the men would do. God took care of the men that were in charge by making them like Daniel (verse 9).
So when I am struggling over the fact that some people do not like me...I can be comforted in that, it's NOT always because I am such a bad person...maybe God is just not allowing them to like me.
We are only "in charge" of our actions and attitudes...not of those around us.
Good post, Gret.
Those are the verses(Exodus 4:10-11) God gave me when I realized I would have to start teaching when you moved. It's a wonderful thing that God gives the words to speak.
Thanks for the reminder... I just had a "run-in" with the mouth issue this weekend... and ended up having to call someone to apologize for some things I had said. Thanks for your transparency!
Sara, sometimes I take credit verbally, but mostly it's in the heart, where I often don't realize it.
Grace -- thanks for praying for me!
Staci -- Yeah, I know, do I REALLY believe what I say I do? Only if I am living it out. Otherwise, it's unbelief!
Geen -- I know, I HATE it when someone does not like me, but you are right. That also comes from the Father's hand!
Johannis -- NO WAY!!! Is that not funny how those verses applied to us in complete opposite ways? For me it was like a train wreck, because I didn't realize I was thinking that way!
Heather -- ah, yes, just another way the mouth is such a blessing! :)
Gretchen - you've been tagged. Check out my blog for more details...
Thanks for your challenge. I struggle with the same thing! For too long I thought I could make or break our meetings by the way I interacted with people. God really had to humble me and remind me that He is in control of ALL things. Me, support, other people...
There is so much comfort in letting Him do his job and just resting.
Chris,
I totally know what you mean. What a relief and a blessing to rest in the All-Knowing and All-Seeing One.
We really miss you guys!
Gret,
I only wish I could learn humility from the Bible alone. Unfortunately, my silly mouth teaches me to be humble more than I'm willing to admit!
Gretchen, WOW! Thank you so much for your post. I took it at a little different angle. Sometimes, as a teacher, I struggle with the question-"Are my words having any effect on these kids?" I loved the verse and the promise that God will help you speak and He will teach you what to say. It sure does take the pressure off when you know GOd is on your side.
By the way, of course I remember you; my hair still feels the effects of the long hours you sat teasing it!! OUCH!!
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