Living Out Biblical Manhood -- My Cousin Steve

This is my cousin, Steve Hill, or at least, the way I remember him from my childhood. In my huge Benzing family of 30+ cousins and 30+ second cousins, Steve ranks up there as a universal favorite for everyone. My whole life I have known Steve to be a kind and gentle guy, easy to talk with. His soft-spoken humor and friendly demeanor endears him to all who know him. Steve is the son of my dad's older sister, Aunt Pat. He and his wife Lorraine, have 4 children: Josh, Isaac, Joseph and Anna.

Steve came to Christ as a young child, and after attending a spiritual disciplines retreat in junior high, he increasingly committed his life to being sold out for Christ -- knowing Him and making Him known. During college, he worked with international students from around the world staying in London, where he was encouraged to press on in his faith, and grow and learn much. He still enjoys serving in Christ's name internationally, and recently took a missions trip with his oldest son to Costa Rica.

When I asked him what God had been teaching him lately, he replied "How important it is to prepare my children to live for Christ: to make Him the center of their life, to love unconditionally, to prepare for suffering, to make the most of every opportunity. I am not sure how well we are doing at this -- some days are much better than others and we have to take the long view on their discipleship." This seasoned dad had lots of great insight on investing in your children. Here is just the tip of the iceberg, some really great stuff I don't hear a lot of people saying:

"Understand that you are responsible for the education of your children. God will hold you accountable. Read the Bible to your children regularly. they will retain and recall so much that you read to them -- even years later. There will be constant attempts to crowd out this particular activity -- make it a priority (and try to make it interesting :)"

"Manage deliberately the transition from boy to man. I am in the midst of this and trying to properly manage transfer of responsibility and accountability."

"Control and preview the media that your children have access to. Be firm on avoiding evil here. Your kids will push early for more freedoms in this area, but once you are proven to be firm, they will also have this conviction. Take time to explain to your children why things are right and wrong. Commands that they cannot watch certain shows or wear certain clothes are empty rules and regulations without clear explanation. Take time to research this so you can systematically explain this to them from the Scriptures."

I really appreciated Steve's humble masculinity. He is a servant leader to his family. I asked him what advice he'd give to husbands out there, and here is a bit of what he gave me (I'm quoting again, because what he wrote was so good!):

"Be generous with your wealth, recognizing God's ownership. Have the right attitude towards money and possessions -- this is the downfall of so many. I would suggest reading Money, Possessions and Eternity by Randy Alcorn -- one of the best books on the right perspective on possessions and ownership that I have read, and will help provide principles for your family."

"Do not be lured into the passive 'silence of Adam'. There are times when your wife or children will want to go in a different direction that you feel uncomfortable with. If your still small voice gives you concern, speak up and work this out with your family. God will use you and your wife in different ways to have sensitivity to sin and His leading. Speaking your concerns is hard because of the potential conflict it may cause, but it is essential."

I now know Steve to not only be kind and gentle, but wise and godly, an example of Biblical Manhood living out loud in this modern era where such men are few and far between. Steve told me he was working to internalize his personal mission statement: "I want to be a servant of God for his purposes, and a servant of others in obedience to his call. I want to recognize that I am a steward of God for all the possessions, relationships, family and opportunities he has given me. I am a constant student of His Word and of the life and world He has created. I am a citizen of heaven and all that entails -- an ambassador for Christ, an alien and stranger on earth, a subject of the King and His kingdom, and a brother to my family in the body of Christ."

Thanks, Steve. You are a treasure to your family and all who are blessed to know you.

Because He Loves Me -- the Gospel and My Everyday Life, or "Taking the Gospel to the Dentist"

Elyse Fitzpatrick's new book, Because He Loves Me has been released, and is available for purchase in the bookstore where I work. I had an advanced manuscript of the book -- thanks to my beloved academic buyer -- so I'm about halfway through the book right now. It is great. The content is top-notch. Thouroughly steeped in Scripture, applicable and practical, Elyse writes to us on how the gospel transforms our everyday lives.

Which it does! Elyse uses the mundane example of being stuck in traffic to show how the gospel can invade and affect every aspect of our lives, no matter how minute. The driver can sit in their car, irritated by the traffic, angry at the drivers around them, feeling defeated and feeding their sin by stewing about it, or they can stop and consider the gospel. C.J. Mahaney would call it "preaching the gospel to yourself". Instead of thinking "Why do I have to wait in this stupid traffic?" the questions we should rightly ask are Why would God send his Son to die for me, Hiswretched enemy? or Why should I be a partaker of His never-dying love? Elyse writes: "the only answers to these questions is that God, who is rich in mercy has loved us with his great love and showered us with his grace!"

So I took this to heart today during my dentist appointment. I was dismayed to learn that my teeth were significantly decaying and I'd have to get further work done. I lay in the dentist chair, in a bit of pain, a bit discouraged, and just a touch frightened. Suddenly, the realization popped into my head that I had forgotten the gospel. So, as the dentist continued his work, I began to consider the blessings of the gospel. My decaying teeth reminded me of the decay of my body, my finite, temporary shell that bears the marks and repercussions of the fall -- death. And even though my body is all the time dying, death is not the final victor, for Christ has overcome and crushed death to death.

Elyse goes on to point out another vital connection between the gospel and the Christian's everyday life. Using Ephesians 4:32 as an example, she points out the imperatives in this verse (be kind, forgiving, etc.). Most believers notice those things and focus there -- I know I can tend to do that. But Elyse gives us a new pair of glasses to put on, which show this verse through the lens of the gospel. She says "can you see how the imperative 'Be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving' is firmly anchored in the indicative, 'you're forgiven in Christ'? This verse demonstrates a beautiful synergy that not only tells us what to do, but also plants within our souls the only motive that will empower God-pleasing compliance: what God has already done. We've already been forgiven in Christ. So many of us cavalierly gloss over what he's done and zero in on what we're to do, and that shift, though it might seems slight, makes all the difference in the world. Our obedience has it's origin in God's prior action and forgetting that truth results in self-righteousness, pride and despair."

Good book. On a completely superficial level, I will say that this book is also one of the most beautiful new books I've seen. Children's books often get this kind of beautiful artwork on the textured slipcover as well as illustrated header pages inside, but grown-up books rarely get this sort of treatment. Because of the universal applicability of the content, as well as the beauty of the book, I'm recommending this book as the #1 Mother's Day and graduation gift this year.

Elizabeth

Last night I found out that a remarkable woman that I knew, Mary Coffman, passed away suddenly. I knew Mary and her equally remarkable daughter Elizabeth from working at the Blue Kangaroo Bookstore. Mary and Elizabeth were much much more than customers, though. We shared a kind of friendship that C.S. Lewis refers to in The Four Loves : when you realize that someone else loves the same books you do and you think to yourself "I thought I was the only one!" Lewis tells a story about when he became friends with his neighbor Arthur in Surprised by Joy:

"I found Arthur sitting up in bed. On the table beside him lay a copy of Myths of the Norsemen.
"'Do you like that?' said I.
"'Do you like that?' said he.
"Next moment the book was in our hands, our heads were bent close together, we were pointing, quoting, talking - soon almost shouting - discovering in a torrent of questions that we liked not only the same thing, but the same parts of it and in the same way."

Even though I moved away, Elizabeth and I have still e-mailed about good books, or upcoming movies-made-from-books. We have come from American Girl to Narnia to Harry Potter to Edith Nesbit and George MacDonald. I have always loved how she was immediately willing to discuss a book! Even though Elizabeth is eleven, we have shared the bond of reading.

Last summer, when Mary and Elizabeth came to visit me, and we went out to eat at Lynn's Paradise Cafe (spending a good long time in "the world of swirl" as you might imagine). I was so intrigued to watch Mary lay good questions out on the table. We were all sharing what we hoped would come through in the final Harry Potter book, and when Elizabeth expressed an especially vengeful wish toward Malfoy, Mary gently returned a rather C.S. Lewis-ish response: "But Elizabeth, wouldn't you rather see him turn to good? A traitor may mend." (Edmund's remark to Eustace when he has just become un-dragoned in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.) I was always so touched by Mary's friendship with her daughter. Elizabeth is indeed a unique and wonderful child -- one I am blessed to know, and hope to know more as she grows into a young woman.

Elizabeth -- you are in my thoughts and prayers!

In Honor of My Mentor

Tonight was our final event for the Pendergraph Women's Ministry on campus. I'm in charge of coordinating the food, and we decided to have a tea (to my delight!). The seminary graciously let us borrow this gorgeous tea service and glass teacups for 200. Along with a variety of tea sandwiches, cookies and scones (complete with clotted Devonshire cream and lemon curd) it made a lovely spread, as you can see by the pictures. I chose some of my favorite teas for the occasion -- PG Tips and Twinings -- and served them with cream, lemon, honey and sugar cubes.




The event was on women mentoring women, and each board member was in charge of decorating a table in honor of her mentor. I did mine in honor of DiAnne Humrichous, who was mentor in ministry to children. I've written about Miss DiAnne before -- she was wonderfully gifted. Her daughter Jill sent me these pictures to complement the layout. I put my Bible and a little lamp to highlight DiAnne's love for the Word. She memorized chapters and chapters of the Bible, and taught generations of children to do the same. I also put out a vase of roses -- her signature! My friend Jill even named her daughter Lauren Rose in honor of her mother, because DiAnne loved roses so much.




I was so blessed to be with so many godly women who love Christ supremely and serve Him with their lives. Here is a picture of my friend and helper, Rhonda, who worked as my assistant on the board this year. This sister has been a surprise new friend for me this year. I'm always in awe of who God brings into our lives to encourage our walk with him. Who has influenced your life in Christ?



If you like tea, please check out Gracious Hospitality -- she is featuring a tea marathon on her blog, with links to many others.

The Gospel and Children's Ministry

Here is a letter I recently sent to a friend in children's ministry back in Illinois, as they recently have been struggling with a large influx of uncooperative children and not enough staff to deal with them all. I print it here as an encouragement to my fellow-laborers in Christ, around the globe. May you all rejoice in the sufficiency of Christ!

Hey, Johanna,

I am writing to encourage you, Stacy, Janice and Amanda (and whoever else) about Wednesday Nights with the kids at church.

All I can do is encourage you in these 2 things:

First: your vision. What IS the vision for the children's ministry, and specifically, the Wed night crowd? Calvary's mission statement is a good place to start -- "Cooperating with God in turning spiritually dead people into fully-devoted followers of Jesus Christ". How does that look for the ministry on Wednesday nights? As I knew it, we were there to feed and get to the hearts of the children we knew well, the ones that were most likely already believers. Because the numbers were smaller than on Sunday morning, it was a time to really get to KNOW and invest in these kids -- bringing them along to being fully-devoted followers of Jesus Christ. I realize this is not the case any more. With MORE kids, and visiting kids and kids from unchurched backgrounds, you are dealing with unbelieving kids! BUT THAT'S GREAT! If anything, we probably made the mistake of assuming belief in a lot of those church kids, and should have shared the gospel with them more regularly and more clearly. NOW is the time for that. If there is anything I can encourage you in, it is the gospel. Of course kids are bad. They are sinners. We don't just want them to be good, we want them to BELIEVE.

Now you need to hash out how that will practically play out. Do you need to be more intentional about sharing the gospel EACH WEEK to all the kids gathered there -- especially in an un-canned, fresh way (not just repeating a bit about Jesus being a sort of ticket to heaven). People need to be convicted about their sin. It is good to specifically point out sin and call it sin (privately, if you are talking to a specific child -- more on that thought). Emphasizing sin and need for Christ bearing our punishment is incredibly important. Consider how you might be able to do that with the kids. During lesson? In small groups? Through songs/discussion? Maybe you need to see about recruiting more people so that you CAN take children aside one on one and talk to them when they are bad -- to show them their sin and need for a Savior! I'm not thinking that every single time a kid is bad they need to go pray a prayer, but the gospel is the ONLY ANSWER for their problem!!! We should be so encouraged because we KNOW THAT ANSWER! Perhaps there are people who could not teach a whole group of kids, but would be willing to join the team to play a role of that sort. Maybe you all should pray about that and seek to recruit people who might be able to do that. These people (and you guys) can plan to take kids who are really acting up out of the general gathering and confront them with their sin and tell them they are under God's judgment for that sin. Tell them they NEED a Savior and that they need to believe. Perhaps pray for them to be able to believe, but then stop there and watch to see if the Spirit is moving. If not, it wouldn't be best to push for a false conversion.

Second: Your encouragement. As a team, you must knit together. Having a common vision helps to do that, but you must be intentional about building one another up. After the kids are gone, your first inclination may be to discuss their behavior, but refrain from doing so, and instead turn to your fellow-laborers and encourage them! This is something I've learned from Ryan Townsend, my children's director here. When I'm finished teaching, he blows me away by blessing me: "Thank you, sister, for using your gifts here," he says. I can't believe it every time. He views our ministry as vital and precious and important and thriving, and communicates that to everyone who serves with him. It is more than just thinking positively, it is encouraging your brothers and sisters IN CHRIST and in the gospel. Everyone serving together with the children ought to be participating in this. You all can be thankful for the gospel. You all can be thankful for how Christ uses the believers in the body to minister. And you can all SAY SO. It is not just delivery, it is not just a smooth running program. It IS dirty hard work, and you ALL need to get down and dirty with one another and HELP one another by knitting your hearts together in brotherly love. A temptation can come to be knit together by sharing a common discouragement. You can all enjoy griping about the little sinners you are called to minister to, that's easy. But how is that different than gossip? Certainly, we bear one another's burdens, and it would be good to pray together, even briefly, before and/or after or at another time. But you cannot knit yourselves together to stress about how hard it is, you must not allow yourselves to do that. Embrace the children God has brought you to minister to. HE has done it. Take it from His hand with thanksgiving, and spur one another on to do the same.

Finally, I want to remind you that our joy comes in the gospel. WE ARE SINNERS. We are not so different from those wicked children. In fact, if we look at them, we see them just as God saw us, apart from His Son. You can show the children love and patience because Christ has shown YOU love and patience. I remember a few months ago, a family sitting behind me had a child misbehaving over and over during the service (it was a Lord's Supper morning, so even longer). I began to feel frustrated with the child because of how many times, over and over, he would begin to be bad, and his parents would patiently stop him. That child had no idea how loving and patient his parents were being. He kept sinning against them. Suddenly, my frustration washed away, as I sat there, remembering Christ's atonement for me. I WAS THAT CHILD. I presumed upon a patient and loving Lord who loved me and called me to be his own. I saw my own sinfulness and foolishness played out in this child's behavior.

Friend, I will pray for you, and seek to encourage you in any way I know how. Have confidence in God's Providence. He has not brought you to a place that He has not before ordained. His grace is sufficient.

Love, Gretchen

Fellow-workers, a book I'd recommend is Ted Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart. This book is for parents, but I found it extremely helpful thinking about what my task was in the children's lives in my care.

T4G Sale

So we bought up the leftover books from Together for the Gospel, and now we're having a huge sale at the bookstore where I work. Great stuff. All kinds of books from Crossway, Banner of Truth, Christian Focus, P&R and Baker Academic. Here are a few I'm highlighting:

Seeing with New Eyes by David Powlison for $7.97. My friend Kathleen who is a counseling student here at Southern said about this book: "It made me peel away the layers of sin in my heart, layer by layer like an onion. It changed my life."

Morning & Evening by Charles Spurgeon, prices varied. We have these in pretty gift editions, which would be perfect graduation or Father's Day gifts. I like the skinny black leather-like one.

He Gave Us a Valley, Digging Ditches, Living Sacrifice, Living Faith by Dr. Helen Roseveare. JUST what I was looking for! I was wanting some new autobiograhies by a woman -- especially one who has served the Lord through trials and hardship. Perhaps you have read Noel Piper's Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God which features Helen Roseveare. About these books, Noel says: "Each time I read one of her accounts, I want to be like her, I want to know God as she does."

But there's lots more, too. Stop by if you live in town, or you can find the phone # from Southern's website, or leave me a comment if you want anything shipped to you! Happy Reading!

Piper: "Become a Sage"

I had the blessing of tasting a bit of the Together for the Gospel conference this week, which was primarily for pastors, but open to anyone to attend. I was certainly in the minority of women present -- less than 100, I'd guess. I mentioned to a friend it was strange to see the line outside the men's room at a huge conference like this and then be able to walk right in the ladies' room!

Most of the direct exhortations were to the pastors in attendance -- which was fitting and appropriate, but this morning during the panel discussion, John Piper briefly addressed the women present with a word about the need for women who are "sages". By this he described women who walked with God, dug deep into theology, experienced the fellowship of Christ's suffering over the course of their lives as they experienced unbelieving husbands, wayward children, medical conditions, etc. and as a result have emerged into their 40s, 50s and 6os as profoundly wise women. It would be fitting for younger generations of men and women to go to these females sages and ask for their insight. Piper described women who on the exterior were gentle, loving, sweet and kind but had a rod of steel down their back -- built in there by the experience of suffering for Christ's name sake. I automatically thought of women who fit this bill -- the "sages" of my life, if you will. Perhaps you can think of them as well. (Here is a picture of my favorite sage -- Elisabeth Elliot -- whose words have influenced and guided me more than any other woman's. I commend to you her books, especially The Path of Suffering. If you never again read a book I recommend, please read this one). Just being older does not make you a sage -- but clinging to the supremacy of Christ through all the battles that a Christian must endure, saturating yourself and your mind in the Word, will in time, make you just such a person.

I was challenged. I want to be a woman like this. I sat there, listening to Piper describing these honorable women, and feeling closer and closer to that age than ever. Thinking about all the silly things in my life that I have made more important than they are. What do those things matter -- at all -- in the light of the glorious reward awaiting us? Can I, by His unlimited grace, choose to endure suffering for His name's sake? Can I look at life with new eyes, not asking "why me?" but "Why NOT me?" when I see suffering taking place? Can I choose to take every cough, every late night with an ill family member, every rough day on the job, every misunderstanding with someone I love, every hurt, every slight, every death and disappointment, and lay them on the divine altar as a sacrifice of praise to the honor and glory of Christ? By His grace -- YES. And so can you.

Dear female reader: ask yourself what you are holding onto that keeps you from loving Christ supremely. He is Supremely Valuable. Do I see Him as such? He is Altogether Good. Do I question His goodness when I experience discomfort? Friends, though we live in a society that is always all about comfort, I know that many times your trials and pains are true and real. It is not their reality that keeps us from rejoicing in the midst of them. If the trials were all joy, no pain at all, then what would be glorious about rejoicing? No, it is in this real suffering that you will know the sweetest and closest fellowship with Christ -- the fellowship of His suffering! "Therefore, let us go to him outside the camp and bear the reproach he endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek a city that is to come."

Sister -- consider the reward! And count it all joy!

I Get to Go!

Today through Thursday is the Together for the Gospel Conference here in Louisville. I just found out that a friend of ours, Shu Wong, cannot go, even though he paid for the registration, so he's letting me go in his place! WOW! A few weeks ago I was feeling really left out about missing everything, but it turns out I can go to the session tonight and tomorrow afternoon (I get off work early!).

It's been crazy around here. I've seen people from college (Ben Wright, various Wredbergs, Luke Akin) at chapel and in the bookstore, and I'm hoping to see some people from my Illinois past as well (Pastor Kim, Kirby, Scott Gunter). Plus my cousin Elizabeth's husband Paul! I wonder who else?

If you are reading this, will you be there?

The right place at the right time. . .

Josh and I have been in Washington D.C. for the last 4 days, just for a sightseeing getaway, and we were delighted to find out this was opening while we were there! We actually didn't know about it until the night before, when Josh bought a copy of the Post and saw an article about it. "Hey, Gret, here's an article about rare books you might like," he said. I couldn't believe it! I read about Jefferson's book collection last month when I read A Gentle Madness. Now it is reconstructed and open to the public for viewing!

The next discovery we made was the next morning after breakfast. We consulted a map and headed off in the general direction of the Library of Congress from the house where we stayed (with the gracious Ingold's). A couple blocks into our jaunt, and there we were! We had no idea we were so close. There was a ceremony taking place on the Library steps where the Librarian of Congress along with a couple Representatives (sorry, can't remember who!) and good old Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin opened the 3 brass front doors to the Library. We were in line right away, and got to enjoy wandering around a rather empty Library of Congress.



Jefferson's library was set up the way he wanted it -- in the shape of a conch shell, so that as you walked into it, you were surrounded by books. He separated them into 3 classifications: Memory, Reason and Imagination. I was delighted to find his section of tragedies, and see which copies were originally his (they marked his original books with a green ribbon marker, the one's replaced with yellow ribbons).



After the Jefferson exhibit started filling up, we walked around reading the quotes on the around the walls when a kind elderly gentleman who worked as a guide encouraged us to visit the main reading room. "It's the crown beauty of the Library" he told us. And it was. Normally, the reading room is only open to those who have a pass, but on this special day it was open to all visitors. And they let us take pictures! We were just crazy about this place. Above us were huge larger than life statues of great writers of different genres -- religion: Moses and St. Paul, art: Shakespeare, etc. We were distanced from the books, of course, but the reading desks were lovely, and Josh and I happened to have our own books along with us!






Of all the places we went on our trip, this was my favorite.

Happy Birthday, Josh!

Well, I'm a day late in writing this, because Josh has been working on an exegesis paper until all hours, so I have not had access to our computer at all. This is not a complaint -- I'm proud of how smart Josh is and how hard he works.

So my husband is 29, like me. The longer we are married, and the more we are around one another, the more grateful I am that the Lord has given me this person to walk through life with. Here are some Josh-specific things that I have come to enjoy more than I thought possible back when we were celebrating his 20th birthday:

• His love for the Word, and truth. It is amazing to watch someone grow in godliness before your very eyes; it is even more amazing when it is your husband. His growth is visible. He is far more patient, more humble, and more passionate about the gospel at 29 than ever before. I say those things to honor him. He was a great guy when I married him. But even after a sort of "Reformation" period in his life, I see his growth abounding and not plateauing at all. I cannot say what a blessing it is to have your chief spiritual adviser and accountability partner to share your home with.
• His love for people. A few years ago, Josh might have noted this as a main struggle, spiritually. You could never guess that now by the way he invests in his friends, and kindly loves the unlovable around him. He reaches out to the nonbelievers at work, showing the greatest love for them by sharing the gospel with them at his own personal risk of incurring their judgment or dislike.
  
• His adaptability. Being flexible and adaptable comes mainly from living your life not insisting on your own rights, and building up expectations. I have recently noticed Josh, who has always been rather easy-going, intentionally lay down his own preferences to adapt to what others would prefer. This is a quality that makes him a delight to live with. When Josh says he doesn't care what we have for supper, he really means it! He doesn't have an idol of food that must be satisfied every time he eats -- he is satisfied in Christ. What a blessing for a wife who is doing the best she can, and is always spread a bit thin in the homemaking department.
  

Happy Birthday, Josh! You are an example of the kind of husband a girl should hope and pray for, and I am so proud to be able to refer to you in that way.

Prizes and Packages

The March Reading Challenge is officially closed. I hear from many of you that you dove right in and appreciated the challenge to read more or certain things. We'll have to pull it out again next year! Here are the winners of the 2008 Challenge:

1st place -- Donette. She wins the C.S. Lewis mug -- top prize that fits her book choice well (Prince Caspian). Nett, send me an e-mail with your address, and I'll drop your prize in the mail. Or maybe you can promise to meet up with me the first of May when we go to MBBC for graduation!

2nd place -- J. A. Ingold. He wins the Booklover's Borrow Book. John, you only are getting second place because you admitted you "barely" finished. However, you win the bonus prize of having your prize hand delivered on your own doorstep in just a few days! Along with the prize you get a 4-day visit from Josh and Gretchen! (Confused readers, Josh and I are going to D.C. during spring break, and the kind Ingolds have graciously offered to host us!).

Finally, I wanted to shout out to the best mother-in-law in the world, Lennis, for this cute Personal Library Kit! My camera is not cooperating, so I'll have to load pictures, later, but the kit is quite charming. It makes me want to play library! Who wants to check something out? Stamp, stamp! Thanks, Lennis!

Aunt Diane

This is my Aunt Diane, one of my dad's 4 sisters (pictured here with my Grandma Benzing who passed away in December). She is the 3rd of 9 children, mother of 3, and grandmother of 12. Can you tell why I thought she looked like a movie star when I was a little girl? I always thought my glamorous aunt looked like Jackie Kennedy or Annette Funicello. She certainly has the poise and grace to match her spunk. Aunt Diane has the aptitude to make everyday life enjoyable -- reading on her deck, playing with the grandkids, or laughing hysterically over old Facebook pictures. "Celebrate life" she says, "Just like my mom did."

Diane has been married for 44 years to Bob Adrian. I just love this picture of her walking down the isle with my Grandpa. She fell in love with a man who has a pastor's heart, and so in her marriage, she has also been a ministry partner for 44 years. Since that is what I am training for right now, I asked her to share something to encourage young women whose husbands are in ministry. Here is what she said:

"I have been fortunate in all the churches we have served in that they have let me be who I am and serve where my heart is. Even though I do not play the piano, which is necessary in some churches for a pastor's wife, I have found other places to serve. My first responsibility is to my God, then my husband and children. The success in ministry is found the the changed lives of people who sit under our teaching & ministries-ESPECIALLY THOSE IN OUR OWN HOME."

I know Aunt Diane has tasted the fruit of years of ministry, both to those in her own home as well as in her church. When I asked her how she sees herself growing in godliness and love for the Savior, she wisely answered "Growing up in a Christian home or even being a Pastor's wife helps but does not assure one of this personal relationship with God." I appreciate her humility and teachable spirit -- she realized the importance of watching her walk in her 40's, and has enjoyed the journey of growing ever since. In addition to Bible studies at church, she also leads a small group of women who are giving themselves to prayer.

I'm so thankful for my Aunt Diane who is beautiful both inside and out!

Finish Line -- March Reading Challenge

Okay, fellow bibliophiles, how did you fare? If you were a participant in the March Reading Challenge, and you were able to meet your goal, please leave me a comment below and let me know. I will be drawing for prizes on Friday, so please be prompt in responding!

I enjoyed my reading this month very much! I completed Basbanes' A Gentle Madness, and read chunks of Books that Changed the World. Initially, I'd intended to skim How to Read a Book, but only got through the first few chapters before I ran out of time. I don't think it's possible to begin to read a book like that, and then decide to gloss over the content! Even if it means not quite making my goal, I am happy to finish reading Mortimer Adler's classic work in the future so I can really enjoy it. I'm glad I challenged myself anyway!

For your viewing and pondering pleasure, I've put up a woodcut by Albrecht Durer that I've come to love called "The Book Fool" (from the religious work, The Ship of Fools). It is also on the cover of the gorgeous 600-page book I just finished. Happy April Fool's Day to you all!

Check back soon for a new installment in my series on the Benzing Family!

The Booklover's Collection

Here are a couple of gift items we recently pulled in at the bookstore where I work. I am trying to put together some great items for those of us who just love books! I call it "The Booklover's Collection" (go ahead and snicker, Stuart!). I think I need a bit of a tutorial on photographing objects. Who does this all the time? (Sara!!!)

This is the first in a series (hopefully) of mugs with quotes from author's about their love of books and reading. It says "You can't get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me." ~C.S. Lewis. This is a prize in the great March Reading Challenge, so press on! We also have a lengthier quote from Spurgeon on a blue mug. The mugs are really terrific, chunky and earthy.



Next is the amazing Booklover's Borrow Book found by Manda. We now carry them in our bookstore, and I was one of the first owners (while I wait for my cute kit from Lennis!). This little book is really quite lovely. Each page inside has 2 stubs to tear out with different little pictures and quotes from authors on the "bookmark" portion you put in the borrower's book. What a nice little reminder! Doesn't seem at all like you are implying they would steal your book when you give them such a pretty little bookmark. Here is a picture of the inside -- which you can tell I've already put to work.



Whether or not you are participating in the March Reading Challenge, these little beauties can be yours, if you wish! Simply let me know, and I'd be happy to connect you with the retailer. :) If you are a contestant, than read, read, read! You have 5 days left to meet your goal and be entered for the chance to win.

Love Lustres at Calvary

Here's a Good Friday prayer taken from The Valley of Vision:

"My Father,
Enlarge my heart, warm my affections, open my lips,
supply words that proclaim 'Love lustres at Calvary.'
There grace removes my burdens and heaps them on thy Son,
made a transgressor, a curse, and sin for me;
There the sword of thy justice smote the man, thy fellow.

Christ was all anguish that I might be all joy,
cast off that I might be brought in,
trodden down as an enemy
that I might be welcomed as a friend
stripped that I might be clothed
wounded that I might be healed,
athirst that I might drink
tormented that I might be comforted,
made a shame that I might inherit glory
entered darkness that I might have eternal light.

My Saviour wept that all tears might be wiped from my eyes
groaned that I might have endless song,
endured all pain that I might have unfading health,
bore a thorned crown that I might have a glory-diadem,
bowed his head that I might uplift mine,
experienced reproach that I might receive welcome
closed his eyes in death that I might gaze on unclouded brightness.
expired that I might ever live.

Can you help me find . . .

I have been looking all over for something, and I cannot find it. This thing exists, I know it, I just have not happened upon it, I guess. I am not a good online shopper for anything besides books, and I'm sure some of you out there do quite well at it.

Here's what I am looking for, in case you have ideas of where to look: some sort of personal library record keeper. I have heard such things be called "a booklover's log" or journal, and that is something I am interested in, but besides just the journal part to record what I'm reading, I want something to record my book lending. Mrs. Mohler has these fabulous "book checks" over which I am extremely envious. She lets her students borrow her books and tear out a check to use as a bookmark, all the while keeping the stub in the original binding so that she will know who has what book. She got hers on clearance at Borders, so that is no help there! I examined them closely one night after class.

Is it possible that this is one thing I simply cannot buy online?? Must I *gasp* go shopping the old fashioned way to try and track down what I am looking for?? I am willing to pay a moderately decent amount for something like this. Who has time to kill clicking away on line??

Who will take the challenge?? (inquiries concerning a stipend will likely be disregarded).

My Book Collection

Except for a brief stint when I was 10 or so, and I thought collecting clowns was a great idea (until I figured out that I actually thought clowns were creepy, not cute at all), I have never really been a collector. My sister collected cats. My dad collected -- still does -- Coke Houses. My mom collected Hummels and Precious Moments and teapots and silverware and most especially quilts. I had some baseball cards, but not really a respectable collection. I had an American Girl Doll and a couple of her accessories, but an actual collection.

I've been thinking about collections because of one of the books I'm reading, A Gentle Madness by Basbanes. It has been outlining some of the most fantastic collections of books through history around the world, and this idea of a book collection -- especially a very selective, very narrow and excellent book collection -- really appeals to me.

So here's my collection: Autographed books.

Not just any books, of course. Only excellent books written by people I really admire, and books that I actually intend to read (or already have read). Most of the titles in my collection come from book signings I have been to, which means, I also met the author (or illustrator) who signed my book. It is not a huge collection, of course, but I am very happy for the few I have. Here is a list of titles (perhaps if they are someday auctioned off, you might refer to this as the initial catalog):

A Chance to Die, the Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael by Elisabeth Elliot
The Journals of Jim Elliot by Elisabeth Elliot
Culture Shift by R. Albert Mohler
Humility, True Greatness by C.J. Mahaney (okay, actually not signed, but I kept something he wrote his name on and put it in my book, so I think it counts)
Idols of the Heart by Elyse Fitzpatrick
Love to Eat, Hate to Eat by Elyse Fitzpatrick
Meet Addy by Melodie Benson Rosales (the original illustrator who modeled Addy after her daughter, whom I also met!)
The Felicity Collection by Valerie Tripp
Jessica by Kevin Henkes (my former boss had him sign a bookplate for me so I could put it in my favorite book of his -- I chose Jessica).

Hmm. On this end, my collection seems pretty small. I see why it is an impulse for those slightly touched collectors to nearly go mad getting the books they want. It is not merely a matter of money, or else the very richest people of all would have only the best collections. It is a matter of being in the right place at the right time, and knowing what to look for. Like anything else, this hunger for MORE books, is fueled by our base passions -- namely greed.


***Contest update: Good news, we got in the special prize designed and sent to the manufacturers by yours truly. If you are still in the running, this unique little baby could be yours! If not, I will be letting you know in a later post how you can buy your own. :) Stay tuned.

Elyse Fitzpatrick

What a late post! As you noticed in my last post, I am attempting to be more efficient at home. The honest truth is that leaves a bit less time for other things -- including blogging. :)

Last Thursday, I attending the Elyse Fitzpatrick event I promoted here, and it was outstanding. She urged us to not overlook the gospel even as we search the scripture for the "to-do" lists. She asked "In seeking to pursue godliness, have you left Jesus behind?" and reminded us that we're "more sinful and flawed than I ever dared believe". One of her scriptural examples were Ephesians 4:31-32 -- "Be ye kind . . . forgiving one another". Often I focus on the part that is my job, and forget the rest of the verse "even as God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven you." There it is -- the GOSPEL! That is what enables me to forgive -- because I am forgiven! She urged us not to be bored with the gospel, because it is so familiar, and not to think of it only as the "door" into the Christian life, but instead as the WHOLE of the Christian life, our means of accomplishing any of those divine "to-dos".

I left, reeling.

The next day was supposed to be the book signing. But it snowed and snowed more than it has in 14 years, so Elyse took an early flight out of here. She did kindly stop by and sign the books we had on hand, though. As a bonus to my readers, if you post in my comment field that you are interested, I will send you a gorgeous 35% off pre-order coupon for her up and coming book that deals with this whole idea of how the gospel DOES apply to my life. Even if you don't preorder the book, you may want the coupon for a bookplate or bookmark -- they are really really pretty.

On the Gospel and Clutter

I am taking a life-changing class right now. I say "life-changing" because this class has practically impacted my life and lifestyle more than any other thus far. It is "Redeeming the Time" -- basically a class on time management, or rather, a class on self management within the amount of time I have.

Among other things, I have had to track my every move for 4 days (including weekends), write out goals for this season of life, submit my day planner to be scrutinized by Mrs. Mohler (yes, it was just a year ago that dear woman inspired me to go purchase such a thing), write an ideal week schedule based on my priorities and declutter the worst areas of my home (see photos below).











The living room closet BEFORE pictures -- a mess of outerwear, art supplies, tools, videos, games, etc. Scroll down to see the delightful after!

This week our assignment was to make a housekeeping schedule. I have had a rather ragged schedule in the past, but ironing it out a bit has helped tremendously. Most of the weekly jobs I do I can fit in to the early morning time slot before I go to work (that was the depressing part of keeping track of every day -- so much was covered by being gone to work!). With the help of my housekeeping schedule, I can keep things fairly tidy and clean, just leaving minimum maintenance for the weekend (for instance, the neighbors might get frowny if I vacuum at 5:00am). I do all the laundry on Mondays, and focus on our bedroom that day. All clothes, shoes, jackets and bags get put back in their proper place (especially helpful if we've been gone over the weekend, or just running around alot). Tuesdays I clean the bathroom. Sometimes this means scrubbing down the tub and shower, sometimes bleaching the floor, sometimes just the basics. Wednesday is grocery, and once a month cleaning out the fridge (entirely). Thursday is general household straightening (mainly living room), and Friday and Saturday are dusting, vacuuming and special projects (those are the nights Josh works, and I can put in at least an hour or two while he's gone).

This has been so helpful to me! Instead of feeling like "ooooooooh, more chores!", (which is what I was afraid of), I instead feel relief! I simply do not stress about the chore that does not go with that day. I know it is planned for another day, so I do not need to consider it now. It actually takes a mental burden away.

Another thing that has been utterly helpful, and ultimately freeing is to recognize what is causing my disorganization. Is it overcommitment? Procrastination? Perfectionism? Maybe you can identify with those. What are the roots underneath those failures? Usually pride, selfishness, laziness, etc. Call that sin what it is! That is good news! That means the gospel applies to my disorganization! Christ died for my sin of pride and laziness, so I have grace to repent of those sins, and walk in newness of life. I do not have to flounder in despair, trying time and again to pull myself up by my bootstraps to "get it together". I can't save myself from sin. Christ saves me. I must repent and ask for his aid.

Some people are more naturally inclined to organization -- my sister Anna, for instance. But being a messy person naturally is no excuse. We are all sinners naturally. We must fight the sin of laziness and pride, and cling to the gospel as our solution! Okay, if you care about this sort of thing, here is the after of my closet. I put the hats and scarves in a basket, my paints and crafty stuff in a shoebox, combined the tool boxes so the little one can be used for lightbulbs (they were always dangerously teetering on the edges of shelves), and organized the videos and game baskets so they are accessible in the front of the closet, not under the coats.

March Reading Challenge

It's your last chance to jump on the bus, folks! The March Reading Challenge is pulling out of the station beginning tomorrow, and here are the riders:

Grace: Idols of the Heart by Elyse Fitzpatrick and When I Don't Desire God by John Piper

Sarah C: Knowing God by J.I. Packer and Teach Them Diligently by Lou Priolo

Mark: The Odyssey by Homer and The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand and War and Peace (just kidding on those last 2!)

Karen: Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe and Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges

Christen: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

Staci: The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman

Rebecca: The 360 Degree Leader by John Maxwell

Donette: Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis and Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges

Morning Rose: Sold! by Patricia McCormick and Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

Gretchen: A Gentle Madness by Nicholas A. Basbanes, How to Read a Book by Mortimer Adler and Books that Changed the World by Robert B. Downs

J. Ingold (representing the underrepresented men): Charity and Its Fruits by Jonathan Edwards and The Work of Christ by Robert Letham

Amelia: The World is Flat by Thomas L. Friedman (late addition totally welcome!)

If there are any changes, please note them in a comment, and I will fix your goal. This challenge is for YOU, so it's okay if everyone has different lengths and numbers of books. If you accomplish your goal, you just might win a prize fit for a booklover! Possible prizes include vintage book plates, book tickets and a special booklover's gift item designed by yours truly (to be unveiled in a later post). Please do not begin your books until tomorrow. That said, buckle up and let's head out!

More books for Sharon

Thanks, guys, for all the input on my list for Sharon. This list is shorter and even harder to define, so I am calling it "Just for you". Basically they are books to read for enjoyment, and do not necessarily fit in Marriage, Parenting and Ministry. This list is based entirely on my opinion, but then again, Sharon did ask for my opinion. :) I'm linking them all to Amazon so you can click and see what they look like. But please buy them from your local bookstore!

Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House -- I love this beautiful book. It makes simple things like making beds seem beautiful and important.

Moleskin Notebook -- this "legendary notebook of Hemingway" has become my new obsession. I love their clean lines and perfect sizes. Great for staying organized!

Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens -- My favorite fiction story of all time.

Boxed Set Chronicles of Narnia -- This one really is the best. The collectors edition is worth the small increase in price because all the illustrations are in color, the bindings are made to last, and the pages are thicker and glossy. This is the set you must read to Gabriel (et. al.)

Treasuring God in our Traditions by Noel Piper -- Great ideas on how to make holidays about treasuring God, not just purposeless activities.

The Story of the Treasure Seekers by E. Nesbit -- I know I mention her over and over, but I'm simply over the moon about her! Nesbit does to my funny bone what Elisabeth Elliot does to my soul -- they hit the very core.

Martha Stewart's Baking Handbook -- I have no idea if this would be helpful to you in Brazil, but I can't tell you how much I love this book. It is more than a cookbook, it is a handbook on all the subtleties of the art of baking.

I hope some of these suggestions were helpful to you. I certainly enjoyed formulating the lists. Happy reading, friend!

Essential Reading for Ministry Wives

My sweet friend Sharon asked me for some book recommendations to take to the field. She and her husband David, are preparing to leave this spring, and she left me this comment on a past post:

"I'm mainly writing to ask you for some book recommendations. Several missionaries have told me to make sure I take plenty of reading material because resources are limited once you're on the mission field. I would like to go buy some books and just put them in one of the boxes we're shipping down and it will be like a little Christmas for me throughout the year."

I am doing my recommended reading in two parts -- "Essential Reading for Ministry Wives", and "Just for You". This list is specifically designed for women, wives and moms to be applicable to their lives as they minister in a church in the US or abroad. There is no way this list is exhaustive, but I do want to give you enough options in case I list things you've already read. I'm focusing, for the most part, on books specifically designed for women. There are many others, that I would encourage you to check out, but I know your husband most likely has those! Most of the parenting books I am recommending based upon hearsay -- I've read very few of those. :) But good people have told me how wonderful they are, so I'll pass them on to you.

This list is for Sharon, but I know my dear readers have been wondering when I would write about books and reading again! So here you are, a true post in Gret Reads 24/7 fashion:

For All Women:

1. A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Charmichael by Elisabeth Elliot
2. The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis
3. Hinds' Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard
4. Discipline, the Glad Surrender by Elisabeth Elliot
5. How People Change by Tim S. Lane
6. Shopping for Time by Carolyn Mahaney
7. A Path Through Suffering: Discovering the Relationship Between God's Mercy and Our Pain by Elisabeth Elliot
8. Idols of the Heart by Elise Fitzpatrick
11. Secure in the Everlasting Arms by Elisabeth Elliot
12. Seeing with New Eyes by David Powlison
13. Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands by Paul Tripp
14. The Christian's Secret to a Happy Life by Hannah Whitall Smith
15. Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss
16. Safely Home by Randy Alcorn
17. Disciplines of a Godly Woman by Barbara Hughes

Books on Marriage:

1. Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney
2. The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace
3. Sacred Marriage by Gary L. Thomas
4. Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson
5. Fearlessly Feminine by Jani Ortland

Books on Parenting:

1. Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp (I'm reading it right now with Christen!)
2. Don't Make Me Count to Three by Ginger Plowman
3. Educating the Wholehearted Child by Clay Clarkson
4. The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson (I've had this recommended by several friends)
5. Parenting by the Book by John Rosemond (a woman I really admire tells me this is very practical and helpful. She buys it for all baby showers!)
6. Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas
7. The Shaping of a Christian Family: How My Parents Nurtured My Faith by Elisabeth Elliot
8. In My Father's House by Corrie Ten Boom

Books for Your Ministry in the Church and to Women:

1. Free Grace and Dying Love by Susannah Spurgeon
2. Ordinary Women and Their Extraordinary God by Noel Piper
3. Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot
4. Girl Talk by Carolyn Mahaney
5. Women's Ministry in the Local Church by Ligon Duncan III
6. The Path Through Suffering: Discovering the Relationship Between God's Mercy and Our Pain by Elisabeth Elliot
7. Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart by John Ensor
8. Love to Eat, Hate to Eat by Elyse Fitzpatrick

Merry Christmas, Sharon! :) To save time and space, I simply listed the titles, but if you want more info on any of these, leave me a comment, and I'll let you know why I recommend it!

Indelible Grace Concert

Last night, Matthew Smith and Indelible Grace had a free concert at our church, Clifton Baptist. What a source of Christian encouragement! In case you're not familiar with IG, they take old hymns that are beginning to be forgotten and write new melodies to them. The words of their songs are so rich! I really admire their dedication to these old songs, and the desire not to let them fall by the wayside, but to sing them on to another generation. Some songs have been changed around quite a bit, but others, like "Nothing but the Blood" and "Come Thou Fount" are totally unchanged. You can hear samples on their website.

Here's what it looks like when a row of Seminarians show up an hour early for good seats. That's Josh and our friends Kevin, Micah and Carrie.

Here's me and my friend Canaan. Can you believe we forgot books? We didn't show as early as the others, so we just chatted it up for a half hour or so. What I loved about this concert was how "church-family" it was. How gracious of IG to make the concert totally free so that everyone can come, even with their kids and babies!

Because He Loves Me: How God's Love Transforms Our Identity and Life

I'm here with the facts about the Elyse Fitzpatrick conference! Wow! I had no idea it was actually going to be compatible with my work schedule. . . I am going to do everything I can to make it!

In case you are interested in coming, here are the details:

When: March 6, 2008 5:00pm-8:00pm
Cost: $10 (includes dinner)
Where: The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary of course! (which means you get to stay with Gretchen).
Contact: Lilly Park lpark@sbts.edu (502)897-4608
Deadline: March 1st (or else you get no dinner)

Please stay until the next day when you can get your books signed by Elyse at the bookstore where I work.

Now, who wants to come?

By the way, I'm still taking names and books for the March Reading Challenge. You can enter all the way until March. And I seriously am cooking up some sort of prizes!

Who's In?

I found this vintage poster which gave me a great idea to promote in March. If you can narrow it down, choose one or two books that you've always meant to read. I think I'm going to go for my books about books: How to Read a Book by Mortimer Adler and A Gentle Madness by Nicholas A. Basbanes.

If you need a suggestion, how about reading the Puritans? Timmy Brister, blogger extraordinare, and one of the best customers at my bookstore (after Dr. Mohler, of course) has developed a Puritan Reading Challenge. Complete with prizes and discussion, you read one Puritan Paperback a month. I'm a little late in the game to post about it, but I'm sure you can still hop on the moving train. I'll ask him next time he comes in for an enormous stack of books. Building that theological library.

Whether you decide to take up my March reading challenge -- to read something you've been meaning to read -- or to take up the Puritan reading challenge, please give me a halla back to let me know you are in on it!

Now let me see if I can cook up some sort of prize. . .

Nearest Book

Steph tagged me to write 3 sentences from page 123 of the nearest book to me. I think Shepherding a Child's Heart is about 3 inches closer than Josh's Greek New Testament, so I will go with that (not to mention, I'd be hard pressed to figure out sentences in that guy). Page 123 just happens to be the last page I read in this book, earlier today! Crazy!

Well here it is. Kind of a strange set of sentences. "These methods must be woven together in your practice. Your children need to be known and understood. Thus, rich communication is necessary."

I will tag Karen, Grace and my cousin Rebecca to do this next if they are interested.

Speaking of reading, I am working at that list of suggestions that you all gave me. My class reading and the books that I am reading with friends have slowed my personal time reading down quite a bit, but I did polish off The Fisherman's Lady by George MacDonald today (waiting to post a review until after I read the sequel -- The Marquis Secret.) Most of the others are either on their way or sitting on my BookMooch wishlist. I will do some real blogging in a few days.

Book signing!

*** EDIT: I was confused. Thanks, Heather, for pointing out that the 9th is a Sunday. The signing will be March 7th.

I am so excited! I am running a book signing with Elyse Fitzpatrick on March 9th at the bookstore! She has written several great counseling books as well as the very popular book Idols of the Heart and Love to Eat, Hate to Eat.

Let me know if you want a book signed that day. I'd be happy to add it to my stack!

The Beauty of Adoption

Today I joined a throng of people waiting to welcome the Murray Family home from Vietnam, where they have been for the past 2 weeks, adopting two precious baby boys. The Murrays are an amazing family here at Clifton, our beloved church. They have 4 bright, adorable daughters who are mature, respectful and full of character. I just love how the Murrays saw that there was more room and love to give to more children, and embarked on this exciting adventure. It was an amazing moment when they walked toward the crowd, and their 3 youngest daughters ran to meet them (their eldest, Caitlyn, who is in our Jr. High SS class went on the trip with them). Everyone cheered, and I am sure I'm not the only one who shed a few tears. It was beautiful.

Why is adoption so beautiful? I think it is because our hearts are so drawn to the beauty of redemption -- our adoption in Christ. We, like these 2 little boys, were adopted by the Father from a world of darkness, sin, and spiritual poverty into the marvelous family of God -- made joint-heirs with Christ. What could be more beautiful?

These boys have been "rescued" from a world that was unloving, cruel, dirty and poor and welcomed into a family that will heap buckets of love on them -- those guys have absolutely NO idea. For one thing, they went from having no mother to having 5 mommies! Watching the process that the Murrays went through has deepened my appreciation for my own adoption in Christ. We cannot begin to imagine all that it will mean to us!